Why are some men attracted to needy

I don't even date them...
(Actually my usual encounters with that type involve leaving them standing on their own at the end of the evening with "What the f*ck happened there?" look on their faces).

 

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Drama is fun for some people.

Oli:

Sigh, you see it would never work between us.
Actually I'm more a fan of the :m: but still....
:bawl:

 

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Drama is fun, melodrama is not...

Hmm, how certain of that are you babe?

There's the thing you see - you're accepting substitutes...

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You MUST be drunk.

:m: >>>>>>>>>> any alcohol on this planet.

You got it backwards; alcohol is no substitute for :m:
NOTHING substitutes :m:!!!

 

I was married to a alcoholic and a pothead.......

I would rather substitute DEATH then go through that again.

 

I get more effect from three cognacs than I do from any weed - it's a waste of money and effort.
In addition to which cognac is legally and easily available.

[Edit]
Oh, and I don't actually GET drunk...

 

Not everyone who smokes pot is a lazy, lethargic pothead. I hope you weren't incinuating that everyone that smokes pot is as such.

Yeah, I've heard that from a few people. I understand that.
For me, herb doesn't give me headaches/hangovers the next day, regardless of how much I toke. It also does not make me rambunctious and beligerent like liquor does. To each his own.

 

shorty_37

At the same time?

Oli:

Oh, drama is not fun, unless it's Waiting for Godot.
But some people get a rush off that sort of melodrama.

Mikenostic beat me to it , but weed is NO substitute for alcohol.
Weed is much better than alcohol.
But pills are better than either.

Oh, oops:

Huh, different reactions. If you decide to give it a try, and not to advocate anything illegal so, hypothetically: try baking it. There's a HUGE difference between ingestion and smoking.

 

Shakespeare?
Tom Stoppard?

Nop, they get off on other people's reactions to their own melodrama.

Possibly, but I wasn't talking about weed as a substitute for alcohol...

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HAHA he might have well been 2 different wait even three different ppl.

Alcoholic......mean and nasty

Pothead....everything was joke and so damn funny

Sober......a combination of the above end result PRICK lol ( i only laugh
now because I am rid of him)

 

Good. You better not be incinuating anything. Or else it will be ....:spank: (and not in a good way)

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Believe me, I know. I could probably use that very statement verbatim to represent my lack of desire to date, or even talk to women right now. I'd rather spend time with my dogs, or on my bike.

 

Oli:

Ionesco!

I'm fond of amatuer psychology, but generally I'm too disgusted by the carnival to really try to analyze it.
There's a ritual to it, to be sure.
Funny, I was just watching this last night.

Fight, then the split to gather sympathies, then the regroup, the makeing up, and the exit to leave everyone going either "what the fuck does he go back for?" or more likely "not this shit again."

It's funny, but my goth friends have generally been the most stable of my friends.

LIke the opposite of salvia, weed is a perfectly illegal Oli substitute?

 

I'll do some checking...

Disgust?
Tut, dear child: amusement; detached, aloof amusement, is the way to go.

And you can see every move before it happens... just like a train on tracks.

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Except for the ones that aren't true Goths, just poseur wannabes.

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Oh, how many times do I hear that...?

There is no true substitute.
Just gap-fillers.

 

Assuming you are a straight male, a woman's attractiveness is irrelevant when choosing a partner?

We all weigh the pros and cons of compatibility and attraction when it comes to who we pursue. Though none of us can choose who or what we find sexually attractive, we do have a choice about whether or not to act on our impulses.

 

1) you make it sound like a line up. 2) amazingly enough one can be both attracted to certain women and not have your attitude. Chew on that for a while.

My reaction is to how you phrased it, not the fact that you are attracted to some women and this is part of your interest. 1) you wondered how physically attractive they were, as if physical attractive was so easy to separate out from other qualities. As if there was an objective answer. This leads me to believe you objectify the women and the beauty as if it were a commodity that you can literally put in a plus column, rather than FEELING that this or that women is attractive TO YOU. 2) pursue a telling verb, take a look at the roots of it, there's one meaning on dictionary.com that wouldn't set off warning bells. 3) I don't weigh the pros and cons - Hm, she's a pain in the ass, but she's physically attractive - I feel attracted to them or not, a vastly more complicated and subjective process that does not fit with some objective notion of beauty.


You could argue that your choice of words mislead me, but I think thoughts and other peoples feelings are affecting your way of looking at women much more than they should. I also think the way you word things shows an objectification where ideas about physical beauty are separated from romantic feelings. You know, the kind of stupid split men (and women) have made for a long time between love and sex, and between heart and head. Your objectivity is not going to get you what you want.

 

Some guys just love a challenge and think they can fix anything. We ignore the flaws until the relationship forces are noses in it. Of course hot chicks get extra baggage limit. They bring a higher level of attraction to the table. Very nice women with a lot in common with me also get extra baggage limit. It is just easier to acess physical attractiveness.

 

Grantywanty, there is an objective quality to physical beauty. Studies have been done with infants too young to have absorbed any cultural bias, and they showed that they were more willing to look at photos of faces generally considered attractive than ones generally considered unattractive.

I think beauty is easy to separate from other qualities. I've known pretty women who were horrible people. That which is beautiful is not always good. But you knew they were beautiful the first time you saw them; finding out they were inconsiderate, arrogant, and conceited took getting to know them. And knowing they possessed these qualities didn't negate the attraction of their symmetrical features, smooth skin, and voluptuous figures - all of which are cues to fertility.

Like many, if not most men, I can still be physically attracted to women I outright dislike.

Beauty is certainly a quality that both attractive men and women can use to gain an advantage. And we have all known men who put up with high maintenance women because they were very beautiful.

Life would be easier if you didn't care about physical appearance of potential mates. You would be free to choose a partner based only on how compatible your personalities are. It would be much easier to find a long term match that way. But you can't fool the libido.

 

I agree with many of your statements.
Still, the original post gave the impression that you would get involved with physically attractive women EVEN THOUGH they had baggage that you normally wouldn't tolerate.
What the hell is the point of that relationship?
I can see them being attractive. I can see ending up having sex.
But your post - and please check it to see what I mean - made it sound like you would have a girlfriend who, essentially, you thought was fucked up, but, hey, she's beautiful so you will PUT UP WITH IT.
That's baggage.
That parallels a women who PUTS UP with a batterer, or an emotionally abusive partner. It says somethign about a person's sense of self-worth.
Now I know you were also perhaps being a bit flip, so I don't know if you stand by this or not.
But to weigh the beauty against other qualities like that seems like a very hopeless relationship program.
Why not wait for someone you are FULLY ATTRACTED TO in all the senses of that?
Why settle?
And why treat someone's baggage in that very unsympathetic way. I think you are hot so that makes up for you being so trying. I used to have baggage: any woman who'd said that to me would have lost her boyfriend that instant.
I'll drop this argument here - (but I will read your response). I think we´ve made our points.

 

So men may put up with women's baggage because of sex.
Women put up with a guy's baggage....why??