Why are some men attracted to needy

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Sickpuppy, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. Sickpuppy Guest

    Why is it that some men are more attracted to needy women and women with major baggage?
     
  2. Bells Frostbite! Staff Member

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    They like to be needed and to be the protector and care-giver, to make everything better again. In that, they are able to exert some control over another and ironically, they become needy themselves. In some cases, they will do everything they can to make sure the woman remains needy. For example, if she has had a mental breakdown and instead of encouraging her to get better, he will keep telling her that she is sick and shouldn't do this or that because she simply cannot take it.
     
  3. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

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    Because they don't stand a chance with women in charge of their own lives. :D
     
  4. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Because they want to be the Knight in Shining Armor.
     
  5. Nutter Shake it loose, baby! Registered Senior Member

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    Many men are needy and have their own "baggage." When they perceive a woman with the same attributes, these men may think that they are less likely to be rejected.

    Also, some men may think that if they can convince needy women that they can accomodate the women's "needs," then the women will in turn feel obligated to accomodate the men's "needs."

    Furthermore, many men have low self-esteem, so they settle for women with major baggage. It is a matter of equilibrium.
     
  6. sandy Banned Banned

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    I think it's about ego. For all of the reasons mentioned before me. Some men freak out over a strong/independent woman. But I think it's for different ego reasons. Maybe they don't feel as big/strong/in control/powerful/?

    I love men. :D
     
  7. Repo Man Valued Senior Member

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    How physically attractive are these women? I'd rather avoid baggage, but the more beautiful a woman is, the more carry ons she is allowed.
     
  8. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    That's a very DANGEROUS philosophy that tends to get men in trouble. The more beautiful a woman is, the stupider the man talking to her in hopes of sleeping with her, becomes. A needy man is FAR more worse and pathetic than a needy woman is.
     
  9. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

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    It palls rapidly....
     
  10. Repo Man Valued Senior Member

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    It doesn't matter how stupid it is; it's true. Men tend to avoid women who have children from a previous husband/boyfriend. But the hotter she is, the more likely they are to overlook that. That's just one example. The attraction of physical beauty tends to override critical thinking capabilities. Though women aren't immune, men seem to be more vulnerable to choosing their partners based on beauty, and ignoring all of the other warnings to stay away.
     
  11. mikenostic Stop pretending you're smart! Registered Senior Member

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    You hit the nail right on the head with that one. I would even go so far to say that many marriages have happened (and subsequently failed) because the guy got blinded by pussy, lost what little logic he had to begin with, and then trapped himself into staying with her.
    I'm even guilty of that (but luckily not as far as marriage), but only once. Because it only took once for me to learn to never do that again.
     
  12. alexb123 The Amish web page is fast! Valued Senior Member

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    There is a name for this it's called co-dependency. Often children of Alcholhoic become co-dep becomes they end up needing to judge their own value by how much others value them. And the more the person needs you the higher value the person feels. It's an interesting subject.
     
  13. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    TYPICAL MALE RESPONSE :mad:
     
  14. Repo Man Valued Senior Member

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    Do you feel it is inaccurate?
     
  15. GhostofMaxwell. Banned Banned

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    :roflmao:
     
  16. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Because some men feel if they pick this type of women, they
    will be able to keep them under their thumb. They also sometimes
    get away with alot more.....including cheating because they keep
    the needy woman down and make her feel like she couldn't find anyone
    else anyway so she puts up with more shit from them.
     
  17. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    NO repo I feel its very accurate.......and have had disscussions
    supporting this......only to hear its NOT true.......
    but I think they are full of shit, men are willing to take more
    shit based on how hot the woman is.
     
  18. Grantywanty Registered Senior Member

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    Some possibilities:

    1) they feel inadequate, so being nice, the helper, the one who makes sacrifices lets makes them feel they aren't so inadequate while at the same time not really dealing with their feelings of inadequacy - the woman is seen as the problem
    2) they are used to having a woman in the house who has baggage and they never dealt with the rejection they felt as a kid by their mother - who was alcoholic, crazy, sad, mistreated by the kid's father, abandoned by the father, etc.
    3) the men need to deal with certain problems and the women show them these problems (perhaps in a not so easy way to connect to form). These men are drawn to women who show them these problems and in a way teach them to start dealing with them first on the outside then on the inside.
    4) men often have trouble being in contact with their feelings. they tend to think of feelings as bad, out of control, crazy, illogical etc. Nevertheless unconsciously they yearn to feel their feelings, so they are drawn to bagaged women who a) reinforce their judgements of emotions b) give them a chance to work through emotions c)trigger deep emotions in the men.

    Men tend not to notice their own emotional problems. Women who actually do feel their own problems then end up seeming to be the one's with baggage. Or to put this another way: a large part of many men's baggage is just how disconnected they are. Often they even see this as a positive quality like being cool under pressure or really rational or as strong. And society reinforces these falsehoods encouraging the men not to deal with their shit.

    And of course woman are often drawn to men who have a lot of baggage or are bad boys or are dependant on some drug or who cheat on them. Many of the reasons I gave above apply these women.
     
  19. Grantywanty Registered Senior Member

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    This is part of YOUR BAGGAGE. I hope you are really attractive or have a lot of money to make up for it.
     
  20. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    no here is where it turns around...........these hot women....in turn
    find some loser....who will do anything for a hot woman......then she
    totally takes advantage of him.
     

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