What does love feel like?

Discussion in 'General Philosophy' started by Cactus Jack, May 19, 2002.

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  1. swarm Registered Senior Member

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    Prolactin is also involved. It, testosterone and estrogen are homones, oxytocin and vassopresin are peptides, dopamine, seratonin, [and several others] are neurotrasmitters.

    For men testosterone rules libido and aggression.

    Women, they still don't really know. Some repond to testosterone increases, others don't and you have to be careful or you pick up male characteristics if you over do it. Lowering prolactin and stimulating dopamine seems to intensify, but not necessarily create libido. Oxytocin seems to help bonding in both sexes, but not necessarily libido. NO seems to get the equipment working. Bing fertile seems to increase libido for women. Being on thepill seems to decrease it as do ssri's, but some have pradoxical increases in libido.

    when first falling in love you get a big spike of dopamine which is an excitatory neuro transmitter (along with a bunch of other stuff). THat is what keeps you awake, makes you grind your teeth and makes you an ocd poster child.

    That wears off eventually and seratonin/oxytocin takes over as the main juice so you just feel good hanging out together.
     
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  3. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    I remember saying to my nan, 'Nan, what is love?" And my nan taught me something I'll never forget. She said, 'You know, I've always thought of it as something very natural, and very organic. Oh yes, on the outside it's tough and it's ugly and it's hard but let it grow naturally and look inside and you'll see it's soft and it's gentle.' I said, 'That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Do you really believe that's what love is?' And she said 'Love? Sorry I thought you said a melon.'
     
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  5. Rav Valued Senior Member

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    And now, to make your eyes roll out of your head...

    "When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No… don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"

    All the wisdom of the world can be found in movies, if you're willing to set your bullshit tolerance high enough to survive the inanity. I'm part of a dying breed of people who look for reasons to like a film, who can walk away feeling that the experience was worthwhile if there was at least one thing that inspired me. It's easy enough, if you want to be inspired. This little gem can be found in a movie described by one reviewer as "One of the year's most embarrassing big-budget miscalculations". It is from Captain Corelli's Mandolin of course. I've liked Nicholas Cage in about 2 movies, and this wasn't one of them. I will however always remember this quote, which wasn't one of his lines.

    I'm sure this point has been made before. I didn't peruse the entire thread. But what the original poster is describing here is infatuation, not love. It's a fantastic and profoundly wonderful insanity, but even though it is these things and much more, it lacks substance. True love does indeed exist in the real world, but it grows out of struggle and compromise rather than levity and sleeplessness. It's the easiest thing in the world to be in love. In fact research has demonstrated that during this period of intense infatuation two people are never more alike. It's a biochemical thing that is an integral part of the bonding process.

    But what does real love feel like? I'd say that it feels like a lot of different things. Contentedness after compromise, happiness after sacrifice. It is saying sorry when you're absolutely convinced that your argument is just as valid. It's a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. And it is as a previous colleague of mine once said "looking back over 40 years of marriage and thanking God that I didn't throw in the towel when I really wanted to".

    Not all relationships are going to last of course. Sometimes people just aren't right for each other. But there are also lot of people who miss out on the experience of this deeper longer lasting love because they throw it all away at the first sign of trouble. Love is when two people decide to put in enough effort to make it work, and come to truly appreciate each other because of it. And facing life together like that is indeed an exciting thing.
     
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  7. thesarafurter Registered Member

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    My concept of love is that it is something difficult to attain, often confused with lust, infatuation...these are animal desires stemming from the need to mate and carry one's own seed on. Throughout high school, I had a good many relationships, all of which I perceived as being 'love'. Just after high school, I had a relationship at the ripe old age of 18 in which I was introduced to love, the reality.

    Love isn't about aesthetics, nor is it about mere mental stimulation. Love isn't even about that warm, fuzzy feeling you get inside. The love I found was a realization that I was far too young and immature to appreciate for what it was.

    In my experience, this is what love is: Love is accepting that you can be happy and working for your own personal happiness, not feeling as though you absolutely need someone else in your life to validate your existence. Love is when you realize that there is someone out there you value greatly who contributes to your own personal happiness in the least selfish manner possible. It's caring about yourself and understanding your needs while realizing that there is someone who fits into your own personal ideal of happiness. It's not forced or even horribly difficult, it merely is.
     
  8. mike47 Banned Banned

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    Love feels sweet but there are many kinds of love......

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  9. Aclevername Registered Member

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    When your away from the other person and it feels like there is a giant hole tearing open your heart
     
  10. thinking Banned Banned

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    AGREED and she's your best friend
     
  11. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Agreed.
     
  12. xyz_abcd Registered Member

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    TruthSeeker/Nelson If you are still on this forum and read this please know that you post was of great help to me.
    I just registered to say my thanks.
     
  13. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    Love feels like freedom.
     
  14. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    Love is...

    Saying goodbye to your heart.

    Love is...

    Learning not to fight
    By never giving up the fight
    Seeing through it all
    By seeing past it all
    Giving up everything you have
    And everything you are
    To find out who you really are
    On the inside
    Letting everything you are die
    To become something else entirely
    That is yourself
    Because you only discover who you are
    When you give yourself entirely
    To someone else
    Being stronger than you ever thought was possible
    By allowing yourself to be more vulnerable than you ever thought was possible
    Risking everything
    And risking nothing
    Because love is the only thing
    That really matters
    And it makes everything else matter
    Because it makes nothing else matter
    It takes you to the highest high
    And the lowest low
    And it makes you never want to feel again
    While you long to feel again
    To feel that touch
    Deep inside
    That makes everything ok
    And takes away all the pain
    Of this cruel, cruel world

    Love is...

    Freedom.
     
  15. mike47 Banned Banned

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    Love is not freedom it is a real prison in my experience ......

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    You are literally attached to the person you love .
    You constantly think about them .
    Your life is aches and misery without them .
     
  16. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

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    i have never been in love, unless you count the love for a child...thats all I got, haha
     
  17. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    I've pondered this point recently and decided its a selfish perspective.
     
  18. mike47 Banned Banned

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    What about the poor soul who fathered the child ?.

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  19. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

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    hahaa.. he can burn in hell for all i care... i was his 1night stand
     
  20. mike47 Banned Banned

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    Silly me and I thought women hate one night stands.....

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  21. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

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    at that time I didnt care to much for him, but his lies lead me to believe we WHERE dating the entire month untill he got what he wanted, then he was gone with the wind

    edit:
    we also have to make sure that he isnt anywhere near the towns I am close to. He has threatened us, but because I learned it from hs ex gf, who told me ALOT of things that where shocking.. I cant do anything about it.. he is in texas now thank god
     
  22. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    My hearts a broken mess with nothing left but sorrows kiss
    Laughing hard I fill the space that's never been touched
    a bliss unknown to me follows through into circling motions of pain
    a distraction for a moment but never for the loss I've born within

    ~ Nights End
     
  23. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    your sun rose in my dark sky,
    and brightened my world
    so i could see beautiful things.

    shone upon my frozen heart,
    it's warmth melted me.
    drip...drip...drip...onto fertile ground.

    in my tears i saw rainbows
    and the life that love brings
    spring forth from dormant seeds of loneliness and despair.

    your breath is the air that i breathe,
    and together we will create
    what will never be destroyed or replaced.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2009
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