Vegetation Liberation Front

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Brutus1964, May 5, 2008.

  1. Brutus1964 We are not alone! Registered Senior Member

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    Reposted from Oblogatoryanecdotes.com

    Imagine being hewn down by a combine, or having your sex organs removed against your will, or having human children pull parts of your body off one by one while they chant "He loves me, he loves me not?".

    This is the horror plants face everyday at the hands of an unthoughtful and uncaring species that view different lifeforms as object to be used for their own self gratification. Oh the indignity a flower has to go through by being separated from their roots and placed in nutrition free environments such as vases or wraps. This surely causes them to wither away to an agonizing and ultimate death only because some human male wants to get something from a human female.

    For the sake of vanity we have created an underclass of plant we call weeds. These downtrodden and victim class plants have every right to live as we do, but we have callously declared open chemical warfare upon them just to make our lawns look nicer. We use our weapons of mass destruction to take the life out of these helpless life forms only because they are not pretty to our eyes, oh the shallowness of the human heart. Lawns are immoral anyway because it assumes ownership and no human has the right to own another life form.

    Oh if we could only hear the silent scream of a lettuce plant when we unthoughtfully decapitate it and devour it's head in gruesome ghoulish manner reminiscent of some low budget zombie movie.

    Vegetarians and especially Vegans are the worst. They decry the bloody slaughter of legged life forms, but hypocritically and cowardly kill millions of the most helpless lifeforms. These poor plants cannot run or defend themselves, but sit in terror watching their love ones be torn from the life giving Earth as they wait their doom to be shredded and sliced, then suffer the ultimate indignity of being placed in an unsanitary mouth and ground to bits by human teeth, to be swallowed and thrust into scalding burning acid where parts of the plant are forced to become part of their murderer or even worse turned to a smelly glob that is defecated out of the killer and flushed down the toilet.

    But wait, hope my be on the horizon for our stemmed friends. In Switzerland a movement is growing to stop this carnage and give rights and dignity to plant life.


    Enlightened humans must never consume any kind of life form. Sure they keep us alive but how dare we be so arrogant as to assume that our lives our superior to theirs.

    Is it ok to eat plants or fruit that is already dead?

    Definitely not since that would constitute the desecration of the dead, and if its immoral to eat a dead human then it is equally immoral to eat a dead plant.

    What about eating fruit where you are not killing the tree or plant?

    Fruit is the sex and reproduction organs of a plant. Would it ok for a being to take your sex organs against your will simply because they feel superior and entitled? I say absolutely not.

    What about fruit that has already fallen from the tree?

    This is also unacceptable because it is interfering with nature's method of reproducing the species. We do not have the right to interfere in any way in any natural process regarding other species.

    What can we eat then?
    I guess we could eat each other or just die off entirely which would forever put an end to racism, sexism, homophobia, and species-ism.
     
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  3. spidergoat Liddle' Dick Tater Valued Senior Member

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    I agree that's somewhat wacky, but coming from the Discovery Institute, they shouldn't talk. They don't even believe in evolution. It is wrong to kill plants arbitrarily.
     
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  5. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    The cries of the carrotts
     
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  7. superstring01 Moderator

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    Kill the four-legged creatures. Kill them all!!!

    ~String
     
  8. spidergoat Liddle' Dick Tater Valued Senior Member

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  9. Pete It's not rocket surgery Registered Senior Member

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  10. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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    Please tell me this is satire.

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  11. Challenger78 Valued Senior Member

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    I certainly hope so.
     
  12. Pete It's not rocket surgery Registered Senior Member

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    The article is satire, the document discussed is real: The dignity of living beings with regard to plants

    The document itself is not controversial. Basically, it says that destroying plants without reason is bad.
    Flicking heads of flowers for fun is not a good thing.
    Cutting down a healthy centuries-old tree because it's blocking your view is reprehensible.
     
  13. Giambattista sssssssssssssssssssssssss sssss Valued Senior Member

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    I can't disagree for the most part.

    I don't think most people go around killing plants for fun very often.
    Weeds are usually killed for practical and necessary reasons.

    On the other hand, weeds sometimes can be put to a good use. Many weeds are edible (young leaves of dandelions or stinging nettle), not to mention the fact that plants such as raspberry shrubs (yum!) which many would grow in their gardens, or pay good money for, especially out of season, are considered pest species. Onions and their ilk (alliums) sometimes are included in this category. Last time I checked, one cannot import Bear Garlic (a wild garlicky flavored member of the allium family) http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM1FT7 into the United States, most likely because of its status as invasive. I could be wrong about that. Anyone know???
    Medicinal and other uses shouldn't be fogotten, as well. Recreational, intoxicating uses are interesting.

    Plenty of wild "weeds" also produce flowers, some of which can be rare and quite beautiful. They're called wildflowers, duh! They can be a joy to find growing in complete isolation from human presence. Of course, there CAN be escapees, too!

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    It's something to think about next time you're out in Nature, or a park or anywhere plants grow!

    :thumbsup:
     
  14. Giambattista sssssssssssssssssssssssss sssss Valued Senior Member

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    Delayed Action Mousemaker.
     
  15. krokah Registered Senior Member

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    This should be at the top of the Darwin Awards!!
     
  16. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    Too funny. Reminds me of that Orange 3G commercial where the orange is cut into with a knife as someone prepares to eat it and it screams horribly in pain!!!

    Kind of disturbing.
     

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