There flat-out is no god.

You'll never get tax free status that way.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

I will pray for you my son.

Hmmm... we need an atheist prayer. Little help here?

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

Sounds like there is a lot to keep up with here! Does this come with teachings?

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

So, I either need to show that my economic impact to the community is critical for overall financial stability (and I therefore need tax incentives) or... I need to show that my spiritual impact to the community is critical for overall spiritual, umm... goodness (and I therefore need tax incentives).

Hmmm... I'll have to work on that. Any ideas anyone? How can we demonstrate the idea that the rationality of True Atheism is critical to the well being of the society?

 

There will be a book, yes. We will need a book.

 

We go to war at their bequest. I thought you rationalists were able see patterns and make connections. Ever been to a corporate event. I mean, I prefer Catholic aesthetics also, but we are talking ritualized behavior and priests and crusades for your soul.

Wiccans, native american religions, sufis, monks in retreat, followers of Martin Buber, Zen monks, Quakers, the Amish. Oh, sorry, your right religions are all the same, wheras corporations should be treated as individuals. Hmm, how did we legalize that latter.

Wow, was that the message you got. You need more homework than I thought.

Good for you. Nice anecdotal evidence. And cleverly implied but not said any conclusions we can draw from this fact. You little witch doctor rhetorist.

 

Just incorporate and hire lawyers and accountants.

 

"There is no God except for ... well, actually, there simply is no God ... and superluminal is His messenger (hypothetically speaking, of course - since God doesn't exist)."

Should converts to True Atheism be forced to recite this three times?

 

Hows this?

Our brains, which art in our heads,
treasured be thy name.
Thy reasoning come.
Thy best you can do be done
on earth as it is.
Give us this day new
insight to help us resolve conflicts and
ease pain.
And lead us not
into supernatural explanations;
deliver us from denial of logic.
For thine is the kingdom of reason,
and even though thy powers are limited,
and you're not always glorious
you are the best evolutionary adaptation
we have for helping this earth now and
forever and ever.
So be it.​

Of course, there is some slight plagiarism involved. But as the good New Atheist knows (due to his large forebrain)

 

Only under the influence of certain, ahem, controlled substances...

I hate homework.

You see how this works?

 

And don't forget the top-secret charity work, for which you shun all publicity.

 

This sounds good. The religious book about how there is no religion! It could be called:

The Contradiction!

 

That's ... ok, I guess. It's pretty dry and intellectual. It won't win over too many of the more common proto-atheist types. Need something with a bit more pizzazz, you know?

 

How about this:

There is no god,
I am an atheist,
Yeah!

 

That won't fly. How can you claim expenses and foster a sense that you've done far more than you really have without big publicity? That's it. We need an ad agency.

 

Simple, to the point. I like it. We need some kind of iconic figure, like the Buddy Jesus in the movie Dogma.

 

Too in-your-face. What you need is a leaky press office.

 

This Atheist's Lord's Prayer

Our Lager, which art in refrigeration, hallowed be thy name.

Thy floozies come, thy bets be won, on Earth as it is in Vegas.

Give us this day our daily bowl,

And forgive us of our transgressions that we don't remember from last night, as we try to forgive that total douchbag at the bar.

And lead us not to into Oklahoma, 'cause, dude...it sucks.

but deliver us to the President's suite at the Bellagio.

For thine is King of beers, and V-8 turbo-charged power, and the no-guts no- glory, for ever and ever...or until I bust. Amen.

 

More plagiarism creativity

The Chevy is my auto;
I shall not want another.
It leadeth me beside the repair shop.
It vexeth my soul.
I annoint its tires with patches.
Its radiator runneth over.
Its rods and pistons annoy me.
It has a breakdown in the presence
of mine enemies.
And if this thing shall follow me
all the days of my life,
I shall dwell in the bughouse forever

By Mark Lyle Prophet

 

Yes. That will lend an air of authenticity that that the more astute proto-atheist converts will be more likely to fall for be swayed by.