The Riddle of Epicurus

raven makes some very good points -
especially #'s one and seven. hard to refute. tsk, tsk.

But three cheers for Lori, my vote is that she gets to go to heaven for her childlike faith and love of God, so a little earthly heartbreak can't mean much in the long run. (that of course doesn't mean she shouldn't try to make the best use of this life too.)
Why do a(nti)theists think that if you believe there might be something after "this life", you automatically must try to f*** up "this life" and everyone elses?

I think, along with all the other possiblities of suggestions there are for Lori, the overwhelming, undeniable, consensus that has been reached is -
don't put all your eggs in one basket regarding this rockstar thing.

By the way, the songs on that link is my band, for lack of a better word. I sang, wrote, produced, and played gtr/pno.

 

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I've had that too. I guess God could have put those thoughts into our heads and some we might naturally derive ourselves. But if He has left us some doubt as to their origin, He most likely doesn't want us to claim directly that they are from God, though we may look at the evidence and privately believe so.

A lot of movies portray nuns with rulers, and I'm pretty sure they used rulers back in the 1960s, but I don't think they use them anymore. Celebracy is an entirely different issue, though. The latin rite could change its requirements for celibracy--the matter is one of discipline not doctrine--but most of the priests, especially those in the european countries who haven't had the scandal, don't see the scandals the result of the decree to celibracy. After all, a priest could break his vow to celebracy in many other ways, none necessarily illegal. Why they'd go after young boys is mindbongling, unless of course they had the inclination before becoming a priest. But then the vows to a lifetime of celebracy wouldn't be the direct cause, only an attraction to pedophiles.

 

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I have absolutely no doubt as to the origin of His voice...none.

Love,

Lori

 

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I know everything I need to know about this man to love him and to commit myself to him and I do. That is not to say that our love will not grow upon meeting in the flesh and spending time sharing each other...as this will continue on forever and ever. God has shown me this man...his character...his faith...and resulting accomplishments...his personality. It's like He let me take a peek inside his heart. God told me that he was just like me only a man...only stronger than I am. God told me that he was my husband...my spiritual leader. God also told me that he was my childhood imaginery friend before he was born. How extremely odd and romantic is that? Because of God, I know things about him that not many people know...and understand things about him that not many people understand...things that have been extremely personal...rather ironically, as these secrets have been the inspiration for all of his art. I have just about everything the band has ever put on tape in the form of cd's, music videos, interviews, concert footage, radio shows. And I've watched this man change...over the past 6 years or so. I've watched him grow up...having to...rather quickly. And I've watched and listened with a limited understanding, but at that, a better understanding than most others have. I've watched him become humbled...going from an angry and defiant boy to a remorseful and desperate man. It's been difficult to watch because it breaks my heart...and I'm sure I still have no idea really how bad and hard it's been for him. But I've sat riveted to the images and mesmerized by the music in absolute amazement at what he and his friends (his band) have accomplished. I've never been so impressed with anyone. I don't even know the half of how hard it's been for him and yet I still respect him and admire him more than I have anyone else in my entire life...by far. It's actually occurred to me lately that what I am going through now, and have been for the past nine months is an itty bitty taste of what it must have been like for him...only he endured for seven years...and he endured in a state of "being" that I have no understanding of...spiritual death. The strength that he has shown is miraculous and inspiring. And so God was right...I am most certainly in awe of him. Bottom line is this...when God tells me something I believe Him. And God has told me that me and this man were made to love each other. It's that simple. There is nothing in this world that is more real to me than that. As a matter of fact, this world and those in it can be very deceiving can't they? In many ways, this world and our flesh is one big lie...one big distraction from the truth which is found in the Spirit of God. You think that people don't deceive one another when forming a relationship? Think about it. My baby watches me when I think that I'm alone. He has most undoubtedly seen me at my worst...and I can be really hideous. I disgust myself even sometimes.

It's not that he's not willing. He is doing what he has been told to do, as am I. He is doing the right thing for me and for everyone...even for you my dear...and I'm sure that it is not easy for him. But we are all blessed by his strength and righteousness. And it is reciprocated. He wrote an entire album just for me for crying out loud. I've told you that he has made his sentiments very clear to me in his lyrics and in other ways.

Just give him a minute would you? This is not over. And this can not be rushed. He will treat me right...you'll see. He will sanctify, honor, defend, and protect me...you just watch.

Well, that sounds kind of nuts to me. It must come down to our differences regarding the acceptance or knowledge of the spiritual realm. I honestly have no idea how you could experience what you have and still say that you're an agnostic. I mean what's it going to take with you? Only God knows what it will take for each of us...and He knew for me...and so that is what He presented to me...and so now I know. And what you are missing, and by no fault of your own since I refuse to divulge the identity of the artist, is the confirmation. But please believe me...there is a ton of confirmation...a mountain of confirmation. So far, six cd's of it...plus a variety of other art...interviews. You know, all of the "coincedences"...the bazillion or so "coincedences" all regarding the same thing. This will be shown...soon...and then you will see what I've seen and then you will understand.

I am very well aware of how outlandish it sounds. I'm the one who's going through it and it sounds outlandish to me. I've said that I can barely get my own head around all of this...and in many ways it's very surreal to me. But being the one having experienced it, I can assure you that this is as real as the nose on my face...there is absolutely no denying it. Aside from the "spiritual experience" itself, the material evidence and confirmation that has been provided to me has been absolutely overwhelming and undeniable. Given what has been presented to me for confirmation, I would have to be insane to deny.

Listen, I don't know how it went down...but rock star definitely knew who the flowers were from, but was not trying to push me away. He's known me and been watching me, and waiting for all of this to happen for years. And during that time was not allowed to contact me, but only to pursue my interest with his music. And it does make sense. Think about it...I know this is hard to follow, but try. When this is all said and done, no one will be able to say that rock star came to me in response to a solicitation or invitation from me due to a lack of communication. There is also no way, without communication that our individual accounts/stories of what has transpired could have been corroborated...and yet we will have been witnessing to the exact same account for almost a year...or have been for almost a year...as I do not know how long this separation will last. The lack of physical or material communication will be evidence of a spiritual interaction and/or phenomenon...and it will give credibility to our testimony. Do you see that?

I know what I need to know, and apparently so does he. I don't know what else to say.

No, it actually happened five years later.

Probably failure.

I wasn't hiding from anything...I was just bored, unfulfilled and disappointed. And in regards to men, I was afraid of them. I didn't trust them...I didn't think that they could be trusted, or that at the very least that it was a good idea to lay it all on the line in hopes that one could be.

After knowing God personally for years, and after He was the one who explained to me what my problem was in relation to men...being the trust issue. He convinced me that I had been lying to myself all of these years. This is how it went in a nutshell...

Lori: What is my problem?
God: You don't trust men.
Lori: Well, duh. Why would I? You know what I've seen...you know what I've experienced. You know your whole "wives submit to you husbands" and "husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church" thing sounds really nice...really nice. I mean what a relief it would be to be able to actually trust a man's intentions were in my best interest...but the fact is that the preacher man who is explaining all of this to me is most likely doing half the choir behind his wifes back and you know it.
God: Touche. So are you saying that you don't think that there is any man on the face of the earth that is as trust worthy as you are?
Lori: *dumbfounded by the last three words of His last statement* Yea, I suppose that is what I'm saying.
God: Doesn't that sound kind of arrogant to you?
Lori: Well yea, when you put it that way, I suppose it does sound pretty arrogant. So if I'm wrong then prove it to me. Show me this man who is as trust worthy as I am who I can be with. I mean, where the hell is he? Where has he been hiding?
God: So what are you going to do?
Lori: What can I do? I can't kill myself because of you. I can't go through what I've gone through with a man again...I'm just not willing to go through it again...I can't...I'm not capable of being that devastated again...I won't. And yet the thought of living the rest of my life without that kind of love that I long for just makes me want to refer back to the first option. So I ask you, what can I do?
God: Let me do this for you.
Lori: Well, you're going to have to because there is no way in hell I'm ever trusting my own judgement again. The only way I will ever be with a man again is if you provide him to me. I mean you are going to have to find this guy, cause I'm not looking, and plop him down right on my front porch, and make it so overwhelming obvious to me that he is "the one" that I can not possibly mistake him.
God: Well then I will.

And I have been waiting for five years. And I've done a lot of learning and growing and changing over those years.

I do need a man. Not just any man. Only one man...and yes I do need him. I could live without him, but I don't want to. I need him to be fulfilled in ways that only he can fulfill me...no one else can.

Forget it, I'm not writing him or contacting him in any way...it's not gonna happen. He will come to get me...he will contact me...not the other way around. He knows when, I do not. I will try very hard not to stick out my tongue when he does. And we'll see about the book...someone's going to have to write one.

Love,

Lori

ps...I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you talking to me about all of this and your ability to be sincere and open minded. I appreciate it so much. Thank you. *smooch*

 

Well, I'm going to put all of my eggs into one basket...actually I have now for a long time. But it's not the rock star's basket or my own...the basket belongs to Jesus. If it wasn't for Him, none of this would be happening. And whatever happens, I trust Him completely, and so I give Him my life.

You are extremely talented and have a lovely voice. I think we may be witness to a brand new genre of music that I would like to call "Christian music that does not suck". How refreshing is that? Jesus has expressed His appreciation for it to me because of this "thing" I've been going through...and because Jesus rocks.

Rock on,

Lori

PS...I also wanted to thank you Cole for talking to me about my experience and being so nice and supportive and open minded about it all. I appreciate it very much. *mwah*

 

I never thought anyone would call my music "christian". I guess it's because the spirituality that informs it is not in line with the fundamentalism that marks what most people (myself included) call "christian" music.
As for you, I was just suggesting not to put all your eggs in the rock star's basket. But you knew that already.
See you around...