The Riddle of Epicurus

I don't understand what you mean.

 

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well let me see if I can show this in yuor writing by quoting the following:
About your Rock star:

About you relationship with God:

do you see the similarities in these few quotes which are ony a quick collection for there are many to choose from.

Years ago and even today Nuns in the Catholic church were supposed to be virginal for a reason. Their devotion to God and Gods work had to be total with out the distraction of earthy lust/love.

They asked God to possess them and for them to be his vessel. But as a condition they required abstinance from earthy pursuits or passions.

So here we have a situation were you are Gods vessel but wish to be your Rockstars vessel as well. There is just one small problem with all this and that is you. Where are you in all this?

You have given God something he already had so that's no big deal but now you wish to give this Rock star the same deal you gave God. Why's that do you think?

Could you just simply be projecting your love for the spirit [God] onto something a bit more earthy as you lack the rigors of the monastary and seclusion that abstinance affords?

"the rock star and God are the same thing"

 

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QQ,

No, they are not the same thing. But I do experience God's love for me through this man...I will in being his wife. And he through me. We will get to see God in each other because God is who brought us together...we are each other's gift from God...an answer to prayer.

God does not come uninvited, does not grant what is not asked, and does not take what is not offerred.

Nuns do as they do because in the Bible the relationship between Christ and His Church is described as a marriage. I think that what they do is ridiculous, and that they are missing out on something that God would have wanted for them...but what do I know? It just seems that in general, the catholic church is all about replacing a spiritual relationship between a person and God Himself, which a physical relationship between a person and their organization. So, in regards to myself, what God has in the spirit, my husband has in the flesh. I belong to them both, and we both belong to Him. Our marital union being spiritual because it is in Christ...a covanent between God and him and myself.

God gave me a vision...a depiction of a family...like a family photo. It was a mother with her child in her arms...a husband with his arms around his wife and child...and Jesus with his arms around all of them. What a pretty picture.

Love,

Lori

 

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QQ,

No, they are not the same thing. But I do experience God's love for me through this man...I will in being his wife. And he through me. We will get to see God in each other because God is who brought us together...we are each other's gift from God...an answer to each other's prayer.

God does not come uninvited, does not grant what is not asked, and does not take what is not offerred.

Nuns do as they do because in the Bible the relationship between Christ and His Church is described as a marriage. I think that what they do is ridiculous, and that they are missing out on something that God would have wanted for them...but what do I know? It just seems that in general, the catholic church is all about replacing a spiritual relationship between a person and God Himself, which a physical relationship between a person and their organization. So, in regards to myself, what God has in the spirit, my husband has in the flesh. I belong to them both, and we both belong to Him. Our marital union being spiritual because it is in Christ...a covenant between God and him and myself.

God gave me a vision...a depiction of a family...like a family photo. It was a mother with her child in her arms...a husband with his arms around his wife and child...and Jesus with his arms around all of them. What a pretty picture.

Love,

Lori

 

I thought you were talking about a real boyfriend, and your a stalker, WOW! did I get it wrong, why are we giving you credence?.

 

Lori just as an aside the following link will take you to a musical web page I created a while ago.
This is how "God " makes me feel......
[I wrote it about 3 years ago]
http://www.paygency.com/1P&M/M_Nossoeterno.htm
make sure your pc sound system is switched on.

 

Mis-t,

damn, that's cold. She doesn't actually qualify as a "stalker" if she doesn't contact the guy, and just waits for him to make the move.
It does qualify as "kind of sad".

I have some music I recorded about how God makes me feel, too.
I made a page with two of my songs on it. The first (to the farthest star) is seeker music, and the second (my desire) I think Lori will appreciate.
You have to download the mp3's if you want to hear them.

I'm not encouraging Lori's blind devotion to her miracle, or paranormal experience, or fantasy, whichever it is, but sometimes it is nice if you are feeling lonely and you realize a lot of people feel that way, whether or not they have God in their lives. Or, in the case of the first song, it's nice to just rock out a little when you can't make sense of it all anyway.

 

ok, I now admit to being an official dumb-ass,

I forgot the link -

http://www.americansoul.net/colegreypage.htm

 

It's "you're", and I'm not a stalker. Wrong again. And who exactly is giving me credence? lol...

Love,

Lori

 

Bravo! That was beautiful!! I didn't know that I was surrounded by musicians...how awesome is that? Must be another "coincedence".

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Thanks for posting that link QQ.

Love songs,

Lori

 

It's not sad damn it, it's f'ing glorious!!!!!! Good Lord...

Please post a link cause I want to download your songs...I definitely want to hear them. More scooby snacks for me...yum, yum. How exciting!

Jesus rocks,

Lori

 

here is the link to my songs again, separating it from the post was a confusing mistake on my part.

http://www.americansoul.net/colegreypage.htm

 

Cole those songs were so amazing!!!! Absolutely awesome...I love them! Wow, I'm really blown away. My desire...yea...I really appreciate that one...it brought a tear. You're very talented Cole...to have written such really good music. So what are you doing in those pieces? Is that your band? Are you singing? playing? what?

Scooby dooby doo,

Lori

 

my download speed is very slow so excuse the delay in commenting on Coles Music....
Maybe other readers have songs that stand out for them and would care to mention them.
A song by Sarah McLachlan, Full of Grace, stands out for me. [I haven't uploaded it]
Her song, Angel, also is amazing as well.....I think

 

Lori, no we do not mean to offend you. In fact, it's likely a good percentage of us have heard unexplained voices, things like that. But the way that you have complete, total faith in them sounds illogical, if not dangerous. For if God spoke into someone, wishing them to know that it was His voice and His alone, then he'd instill into them the knowledge that it was His voice. There would be no doubt whatsoever, at least from your perspective. But this isn't true, is it? At some point, I think, you made a conscious choice that some voice was God?

A Nun follow what Paul said, that by not being devoted to their husband they may devote themselves more to Christ. Doesn't mean the marriage life is worst than the religious(by serving their husbands, wives serve Christ), just that each is called to a different role.

 

Nice music Cole, very........

 

No, um...I've always talked to myself quite a bit...but I've always known that was me...lol. Sometimes when God speaks to me it's more like an idea or impression just comes to mind from "out of nowhere". But I'll never forget the first time I heard His voice...like a very strong telepathic communication...and I definitely knew it was Him...and had never heard Him like that before.

Yea, I see what you're saying. I wonder how true that really is though. You always hear the horror stories about the abusive nuns with the rulers in catholic schools...lol. Like with the priests and their vow of celibacy turning around and molesting all of those kids. I guess I just don't see it "working" in a practical sense. I would imagine that most seem more devoted to their role in the organization than devoted to Christ is all. It seems for most it may be more of a cop out or a weird "job" than a true devotion. That's my impression anyway...I could be wrong.

Love,

Lori

 

I need help from the forum....a call for the "forum league of justice" if you will. I have a very good friend. He is however an incredibly large jackass, and for the most part don't get along with him. I'm not actually sure how we became or remain friends, but there is just sort of that....bond there you know. Anyway, my biggest peave is that this kid alllllllllllways thinks he's right. He'll bring up anything to argue about; the president, evolution, gay rights, whether homosexuality is a genetic disease....by the way this last one would make an excellent forum. I'd like to start one but don't know how. Anyway. He'll bring this crap up and put in his 2 cents and that is the end all beat all no doubt about it answer to what ever topic we were on. Any suggestions on how to deal with him other than going through with the irritation and beating the hell out of him.

 

I am not a shrink (though I have seen plenty

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) nor any other type of mental health professional. I also do not know you, all I know is the very little I see here in front of me. I am just calling it as I see it and not claiming any professional experience or anything like that. This is just the advice I would give to a friend.

That said...

Put myself in your shoes?
OK.


1.) I fall so madly head-over-heels "in love" with someone that I have never spent any time with in real life.
2.) I am so "in love" with this person that I am ready to dedicate or scrifice my life for this person.
3.) I KNOW this person is just as "in love" with me and wants to be with me.
4.) This person has never acknowledged me, outside of astral projection (keep in mind, I AM experienced in meditation, out of body experiences, lucid dreaming and drugs).
5.) All of my reasoning for not contacting this person not only does not make reasonable sense even to me, but it all comes from the voice of God.
6.) The one time I DID try to contact this person, the package came back unopened (even though this band is known for opening all their fan mail).
7.) I talk about this person like we have known each other our entire lives.


OK, here would be MY reasoning if I were in your shoes...

1.) Being "in love" with someone requires getting to know them. Not through their art, not through astral projection (real or imagined), not through my built-up impression of who I think they are. Through real life interraction. Through getting to know and trust them by them being there for me in times of need (like my girlfriend taking care of me while I was sick with the flu this week), and me doing the same. It is a two-way street. Give and take. It requires EARNED and DESERVED trust and mutual respect. It requires spending quality time with the person and seeing them interract with other people on a regualr basis so you get to see and fully understand their true character. When I was younger I fell for MANY artists for their art. It took me a long time and a lot of hurt to recognize that an artist and their art are two very different things. Until I get to know a person, TRULY get to know them through inter-personal interraction and real time together, I can't BE 'in love" with them. At best, I can be infatuated with their persona or intrigued by their art and WANT to get to know them.

2.) That's not love if it's not reciprocated. It's dangerous obsession and nothing more. If this person is not willing to contact me, then it is not reciprocated, regardless of what happens in the spiritual world.

3.) If the person is not willing to publicly come out and love me in real life because the person is afraid people will think it is a publicity stunt or people will ridicule us, then that person is more in love with their career than ME. If that person is "in love" with me, and that person is a rich and famous rock star, that person would be willing to retire, step out of the limelight and settle down with me if that is what is required to be with me. The person would do a Rolling Stone interview and say, "I know this sounds cooky, but I truly believe that God led me to this person." The person is Born-Again, anyway. Most of rock star's fans would completely understand and say how wonderful it is that God did that, and those that didn't believe, SO WHAT?! I don't need people to believe I am in love with the person I am in love with. I could care less about anyone's opinion of OUR relationship.

4.) I have had some incredibly realistic believable experiences during meditation and other altered states of consciousness. I have felt people touch me, heard voices (not just in my head, but clearly whispering in my ear) I have had visions, I have had the sensation of leaving my body, I have had the sensation of communing with others WHILE out of my body. Although I do honestly believe that some of it was real, I am absolutlely convinced that some of it was just in my head. YES, my subconscious. It is a hell of a lot more powerful than you give it credit for. I have personally seen people cause burn blisters rise on thier skin without touching anything warm to it. If they can do that, don't you think you can have the sensation that someone is touching you? Or talking to you? One experience I had was communing with my father in my bathroom mirror. He was dressed in the leather jacket he used to wear when I was a kid. The last time I spoke to him he was on his way into the hospital, and I hadn't heard from him since (it was over a month, but that was nothing new for my father). I called the hospital (he didn't have a phone), I checked the Social Security database online, I called everyone I could think of and nobody knew anything. I was convinced he was dead. A few months later, my brother tried the bar he likes to hang out at and he was there. No matter HOW convincing it might be, I would never take any of these experiences as FACT, ESPECIALLY invoing someone else, ESPECIALLY someone I didn't know without some kind of confirmation in real life. Not only does this person not confirm any of this, but I am making nonsensical excuses for it and holding onto those for dear life.

5.) I'm not an atheist, so I wouldn't discount God right out of the box, like some, but I am agnostic and would, understandably, have a hard time with this. Pretty much everything from number 4 would stand for this one. Sure, maybe God does have some grand plan for me, or maybe he just wants to play match-maker for me. Maybe he is my buddy and just picked me out of 6 billion people to hook-up because of my faith. As outlandish as it might sound, is it possible? Sure! However, I can't let myself forget precicely HOW outlandish it does sound. I couldn't allow myself to use God's voice as supporting evidence (again, refer back to number 4).

6.) One of two things happened. Rock start knew who I was and is trying to push me away, and could possibly be getting nervous or the Post Office fucked up. There is NO WAY in hell I would make the connection that I am not "supposed to" contact the person! Even with point 1, 2 AND 3 put aside, the reasoning makes no sense whatsoever. The band likely gets (they way you describe them and their popularity) thousands if not tens of thousands of pieces of fan mail a week. There is no way the flower deliever person would remember my name, even if he did, he didn't know what I said in the card, even if he peeked, it would mean nothing to him. Who besides me and this person would think those flowers are of any significance to me and the person. Besides, this person doesn't sign for their mail personally! In order to have my flowers rejected, this person's assistants would have to know about us, and that is MUCH more of a risk than actualy accepting flowers from a fan. which this person does on a regular basis. It makes NO SENSE!

7.) Let's take Jack Kerouac as an example. The vast majority of Jack's work is autobiographical. Most of his friend and acquaintences were writers, and most of them wrote about him (before or after his death). He lived a WIDE open life. I have read things that he has written dating back to when he was 12 years old! I have a book filled with dozens of letters Jack has written to many people. I have heard him speak about his work and his life. I have heard other that knew him speak of his work and life. I have read books and articles wriiten about him by people that knew him and others that studied his life. I know a great deal ABOUT Jack Kerouac. Odds are I know a good deal more about Jack than you know about rock star. You know what, though? I DO NOT KNOW JACK. Moreover JACK DOES NOT (or did not) KNOW ME.


Looking at it altogether, this is the impression I get.
This happened RIGHT after you decided that it is OK to need and want a man in your life.
You had been without one, and living a self-destructive lifestyle for quite a while up until then.
You were lost, confused and desperate for some direction, some understanding, but you were still very afraid.
Afraid of what? I don't know, but I suppose it was whatever drove you to your secluded life of self destruction in the first place (yes, even when you were married, you were secluded - secluded from life and from yourself). You tell me, what drove you to drugs in the first place? What were you running away from? What were you trying to hide from all those years ago?
So, your survival instinct kicks in. That's quite a powerful thing. It gives people super-human strength at times (physically and menatlly). Your mind will convince your body of ANYTHING if it needs to. It will even lie to itself. You knew that if you stayed in the life you were in, you would be destroyed. You were probably coming to some big turning point in your life, some point of no return. You knew there was no turning back after this. You had a decision. You continue on with the path you had chosen, or you allow your survival instinct to take over. What's the easiest thing for a Christian to believe? God intervened. It is almost like a split personality. Your rational side that knows you are destroying yourself and will not let that happen, does what it has to to convince your emotional side to change, to hold on to life, to trun around before it's too late. Who knows you better than you know yourself? Of course, you can't see all this going on because, as much as you seem to hate the word, it is happening in your subconscious mind. You were ready for a man, but if another man broke your heart it would be then end of it, you were far too fragile at that point, so you had to be protected from that. Your rational subconscious mind knows that if youe confront your rock star and he rejects you, the whole smoke and mirrors set-up will fail, and you just may collapse.

You aren't crazy at all. We all do this. Regardless of what anyone tells you, we ALL do this. To what extent we do it all depends on how much we need it. You are far too intelligent and sane to need it to this level. You DON'T NEED a man. It is nice to have a companion in life, but you are not incomplete, your life is not incomplete without one. Fuck Jerry Maguire, if you need a man to complete you, then you are better off alone until you are a complete person. Find what's missing in your life and pursue it. When you see yourself as complete, then look for someone who will COMPLEMENT you and your life.

So, me, in your shoes, I think the same thing I thought last week.
Yes, it is possible, but severely unlikely.
Find out.
Write him a letter and say, "This may sound crazy, but it would be MORE crazy for me to NOT ask..."
If he says, "No." or doesn't reply, let it go. Get on with your life.
If he says, "Yes" run to him (sticking your tongue out at all of us on the way there), be happy, and let me write the book.

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Let's look at it from another angle, Lori.
Let's say it is all true. Like I said, it could be.
You said yourself that the signs and visions etc are difficult, to say the least, to understand and interperate, right?
So, who's to say that I'm NOT the bird he was going to send you.
Maybe I am simply an unwitting participant.
Maybe God knows me well enough to know that I would push to get you to write him a letter.
Maybe this is the sign that is supposed to tell you that it's time to get in touch with him.
Let's look at that, shall we?

OK, we are assuming I am the bird, and the message is that it is time for you to write him a letter.
So, you write him a letter, and oops, you misread the sign, and it wasn't time yet.
What happens, the letter gets returned unopened, just like the flowers, and you are still in the exact same place. No harm done.
Or...
You write him a letter and he writes back confirming all this and the ball gets rolling.

If it is true, you have nothing to lose, right?
Why not write a letter spilling EVERYTHING out?