Suicide, suicide, sucide...

*nods* I can't claim it all to being simple incompetence though - a few times, I legitimately should have at least been grievously injured. I downed a cocktail from few bottles from under our kitchen sink (random cleaning supplies) once, gave me pretty terrible gastrointestinal distress, but that was about the extent of it. The one that made me stop trying to commit suicide is one I think I've mentioned here before - took my dad's revolve and tried to shoot myself... put it up against my temple, six pulls of the trigger, six times it wouldn't fire (and this is a gun I'd shot hundreds of times before, and I was pretty intimately familiar with how it worked) - I got pissed and threw it to the ground and it went off, blowing a hole in one of the cabinets in the garage. Picked it up, and put the other five rounds into a tree down at the end of our yard.

I'm not saying it had to be intervention of the divine kind... but damn if something wasn't looking out for me. I decided then that I must have some sort of reason for being here if I simply wasn't being allowed to remove myself XD

 

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But again those personal details doesn't put you at risk of being a suicide bomber. Suicide bombers kill randomly without a care for themselves or others, they do so to make a larger political or religious statement, in that sense its an objective act, nothing personal. You are like the suicidal murderers who act locally. Its a Histrionic/narcissistic trait to want to kill yourself as well as those you feel have personally wronged you. So again this is not the type who is going to get on a plane and harm random travelers unless of course you purchased plane tickets for the bullies and abusers to make sure they were all onboard. See what I'm getting at?

 

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WOW
6 misfires followed by 6 fired rounds (with the same bullets) has got to be way outside the norm.
If I believed in such a thing, I'd cop to divine intervention.
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF DUMB LUCK TO SEE YOU SAFELY THROUGH WHEN PLANNING AND INTELLECT FAIL!

I used to practice rapid fire, and then rapid squeezing of the trigger with spent rounds with the colt revolver against my temple.
The goal was to see if I could place at least 3 through my brain before hitting the ground. Obviously, I never followed through with the practiced skillset. I've always got too damned many things in the works and unfinished. Currently a greenhouse I ain't finished, a steel roof for my shop, 3 sculptures planned and sketched and I ain't even built the armatures yet. Maybe, I'll have time for suicide in 7 or 8 years(if i don't start any new projects). Add in DNA redefining "known" anthropology, and gobekli tepe redefining archaeology, and my curiosity is rekindled anew.

Last week, they hauled me off to the hospital with core temp below 91 degrees F, bp 73/40 and bloody stool. I had 3 days of sleeping in a hospital bed, drip iv, and a colonoscopy. Seems that I had a virus(they ain't billed me yet, and maybe that'll kill me). Maybe, mortality will catch up with me before I have a chance to execute the practiced plan?

(back to building the scaffold for the roof work)

 

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