I used the past tense, not the present. Do please try to pay attention. Very nice, full marks for style, but in terms of content you are talking to yourself there, Nejka, not to me. My leaves are falling, not budding. Most of my life I spent on letting things happen and I'll tell you what happens if you do: The World shits on you; it takes you for a ride. Maybe one day, after a 25 year struggle to make a relationship work, maybe when you've paid off your bills and your debt, and had to fend for yourself, instead of perpetually making excuses and pleading for compassion like a sick infant, maybe then you'll get to realise . ---- RH.
I got a catalog from bugei.com, not that I can afford one. Nice craftsmanship. Isn't it interesting that a number of these are made from Swedish powdered steel? It seems that Zatoichi used a Wakizashi?
The Swedish powdered steel is extremely pure and through powder technology, one can 'alloy' metals that cannot otherwise be joined.. for certain 'properties' in the finished steel. Modern steel manufacture produces the finest (purest) steel in history. Period. The 'damascus folding' was and is quite an art, necessary then to 'forge purify' the steel, simply an exquisite art today, but it dont help the steel perform! (There is much mixed opinion on this, mine just one of them) No, there was a full katana in that cane. (at least in the Shintaro Katsu original series; also in Rutger Hauer's remake (spoof?), "Blind Fury".) One can glean good referrence information from the Bugei site. I got a laminated, impregnated bokken from them, years ago, while they were available. Priced right, the quality is still excellent. Nothing stands before it! You certainly seem to get what you pay for with these guys, and more!
I shouldn't play games with someone who seems so blah about the prospect of the future, because i understand what feeling hopelessness is like, but I don't think you are really hopeless or would say that about yourself, although I don't really know do I? but anyway... You know what they say about people who are bored. And regarding age, and your future, and falling leaves, you have more potential, sitting there in England, even if you were ill all the time (which you probably aren't), than a lot of people on this planet, who are truly given the choice to fight for survival or die, like all of us are, but are hardly allowed to mentally flourish, as some of us can. And you know what happens to a lot of people who don't just let things happen, and push through and control situations to fit their mouse and men plans? The world shits on them too. Now on a more serious note - good luck with everything. I hope, by some miracle, today has great value and enjoyment for you, mr. perplexity. P.S. sorry to everyone about helping get completely off the subject of the thread. Sometimes a conversation comes up that would just not happen if it were moved to another "locale".
You speak from a very particular perspective, cole grey. The relief of boredom, the notion of hope independent of anybody else and the finding of great value and enjoyment for oneself, that is a game for wankers. Welfare within a marriage is a mutual affair, and that is where I find my discipline, in the need to control the situation, for the good of all concerned. --- RH.
Boredom being based on perspective and creativity level is usually the case. The finding of value and enjoyment for yourself, is something humans do, there is nothing wrong with it. Having it be your exclusive pursuit would be sad, I agree. Having hope independent of outside influence is nice. Good things are good. Sometimes bad things are good, and vice versa but not in this case. Ta, babes.
I was paying attention! I analyzed the verbal phrase, I had to think whether "I'd" stood for "I had" or for "I would", and then checked what the other part of the verbal phrase was, to see which interpretation to take. I figured it was the past tense. But it remains that you don't see me, and in this sense, now is the same as the past, this is why I referred to the present. I was talking to you. About your expectations, what you want, and what you do. You say it in your last posts as well: You wish to control the situation? You wish to teach, berate? You wish to be the rough leaves that embrace? You wish to be the one to chip away on the shell of the egg, pull the butterfly out of the chrysalis? In that sense, you need to loosen the grip, give up the pulling -- because it smothers those under your control. And your boredom, your I've-seen-it-all, your lack of stimulation easily comes from wanting to hasten things, and forcing them to happen faster, and the way you want them to be, under the declaration of "fight or retreat". This is how you get to see all those butterflies that can't fly, wrinkled blossoms, weak chickens -- be they in the shape of your own endeavours, or the way people have responded to your treatment of them, or the way your relationship has gone with them. This is something I have seen quite often. When one party takes control, assumes superior position by dispensing wisdom, criticising -- no matter how well-intended one is, it will likely come across wrong, and provoke the other person to react, not respond, and to defend themselves. This resorting to reactive mode and defense is even more likely to happen with people who have unresolved problems from childhood or later on. And yes, I am talking to you here as if I am assuming a superior position -- but know that I am speaking in defense of myself, and this is still a reaction, although a qualified one. I do have a lump in my stomach as I am writing this and my palms are sweating. I've been through this kind of situation several times, with other people, I know what I'm talking about. I don't know how else to get through to you, and I wouldn't dare have this kind of conversation with you in person, I'd not manage to gather so much concentration then -- I'd probably just tell you off, or bully you. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me. Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
And why is this so? Why are people reluctant to show how they feel? I'll tell you why I am reluctant to show how I feel: For one, I am reluctant due to many bad old habits. Simply not being used to showing how I feel, not daring to show, ever, and often, not even knowing how I feel, being estranged to myself for so long. In this regard, the way other people behave towards me makes no difference to whether I show my feelings or not. And for two, I am reluctant to show how I feel to people who have already branded me as "hypocrite", "spoiled child", "pleading for compassion like a sick infant", "lying to myself". Those people are likely to see only defenses, reactions. Negativity and criticism simply do not create the appropriate environment for sharing. And yes, it is a vicious no-win situation: Some people, upon witnessing my bad old habits, reply with negativity and criticism -- which only shuts me down to them even more. To which they reply with even more negativity and criticism, which eventually blocks the communication completely.
"but I would not been seeing so much of your being glad"? It seems to affect your brain, staying up so late at night. If "hypocrite" gets to you, then please heed your own advice: When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. No matter how well-intended you do not know what you are talking about. You hardly know me and still less do you know my wife. I am calm enough and she never called for your help. In which case, if your emotional analysis is of no real use, comfort or encouragement, so much the better for them. Fight or retreat is the way the World works. I look forward to such a time that your palms are not so sweaty. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! ----- RH.
That tone is uncalled for. I explained how I went about understanding your sentence -- word by word. As a foreigner, I have a different grasp of English than you do as a native speaker. I defended myself, I spoke of the effect you have on me. I only speak of you in regards to the communication we have. I don't assume to know you, as you are, regardless of our communication. If you retreat -- then you will never see that time. And neither if you fight. Just because I am upset, does not mean that I speak nonsense, or that what I say can simply be discarded.
With no doubt, you may just as well speak nonsense when not upset. I have told you over and over again to please yourself, permission granted; if you know where to get a better deal go get it; the choice is yours. Nothing could then be more nonsensical to me than to be accused of smothering, of some kind of control trip. Find yourself a nice little chicken to hatch if that's what you want. Free yourself. Follow your heart, your dream. I am not a little chicken, nor am I against you. I wish you well, good luck. --- RH.
Feelings? A samurai has no use for them. Cold hard steel is my only friend. Loyalty to my lord my only guide. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
talking of cold hard steel, the "cold steel" range of blades look very impressive for cutting power and price. i have seen some of the cold steel cutting proof dvd clips i think i will purchase an item from them to test it out and see if they do wholesale, http://www.coldsteelknives.co.uk/ peace
Those 'proof' videos are a bit less than 'scientific'.. more like advertisement. My experience with Cold Steel products has been very favorable. I bought one of their first tantos.. It still lives! Solidly built. The videos, though, are more 'sensationalism'. Almost any similarly designed knives will cut the same. The 'cutter' is a practiced pro, and all is in edge geometry and technique (which left a bit to be desired). A sharp blade with good technique will not leave frazzled strands on the ends of a free hanging sliced rope. Better, hang a piece of sewing thread and try to cut that with a slice! Not so simple anymore, nor as dramatic! *__- I was at a hammer in with the bladesmiths at the top of the heap! Moran, Bagwell, Crowell, Fisk... and others. The 'forged' blade was declared the only blade there that could pass the rigorous cutting tests. I dont know if youve heard of B.R. Hughes, the writer (dead now), but he was covering the conference. After the cutting was done, I was there alone with Mr Hughes. I pulled out my 'non-forged' knife (of my own construction) and sliced the free-hanging ropes like butter. I told him that it wasn't forged. It was a special moment. No one said a thing! Hahahaha..
just bought myself a tanto, from china, have a range of other weapons,but this is a bit special, looking for a full suit of samurai armor, can anyone surgest anyplace, have seen some in china, but the price's are astromomical,i have just ordered a pure chinese Tai Chi suit, can not wait.
http://www.bugei.com/category_21.htm http://bugei.com/subcategory_28.htm It's not cheap, ($ 1470.00) but what do you expect? Their free catalog is nice.
