I've recently suffered from a bout of paranoia. I do already have a paranoid personality type resulting from a particularly traumatic experience in the 6th grade. However today I had the second of two delusional paranoid experiences. The first occurred last summer after I had heard of a particularly nasty executive order, wherein anyone who was deemed a threat to the stabilization of Iraq. This, of course, could mean anything from conscientious objector to anti-war activists or actual "homegrown" terrorists. Our housemate and I are both staunch anti-war and members of anti-war groups here in our locale. I immediately became worried as our housemate had been protesting for most of her life and undoubtedly has an FBI record. The following day two men sat in their car directly across the street. I observed for an hour and so before calling my mom and a friend for advice. The car and the two men were inconspicuous but because they had been there most of the morning I decided that they were either federal agents or agents of some other force and decided to leave. After packing my backpack full of books and hiding my father's camera in the fireplace, I skipped out the back door ad headed for a friend's house. Nothing happened. It was only once I'd gotten home and told our housemate (who is a psychologist) what had happened that she told me I'd had a paranoid delusion. It's been months since then and recently I've had a bad run with netflix. Two of my incoming DVDs have gone missing before even reaching my house and now one has been stolen from our mailbox when we tried to send it back. We are worried about reporting it because netflix will cancel your account if too many mistakes happen. We've had three in the past month. All 3 incidents were completely out of our power alleviate. Netflix has warned my mom before about missing DVDs and so we are worried. Earlier today I was angry because I would not be able to get a new movie until we reported what happened to the one we tried to send back. Our plan was to wait a few weeks and the report it claiming we had tried to send it back and it got stolen. I decided I would have to use my mom's section of the account however the thought occurred to me. My mom and I have drastically different tastes. She gets drama and rom coms. I get exploitation, b-movies, yakuza films, zombie flicks and scifi. They would notice that big of a change in what she ordered. That would mean they would know something had gone wrong and would cancel our account because we could not be trusted. As I ran this trip through my head, I stopped myself. I realized was being paranoid. I want to know what the forum's thought on this was. Does anyone know if this is just me and my paranoid personality type or is this actual delusional paranoia?
Everything about you is you, there is no "special name" behind which you can hide. It has always and will always be about you and you only. You have the power to create and destroy all the gimmicks* in your head, not some gangstah doctor. You gotta keep your head up.
Sounds like your imagination is running away with you. I'm mildly paranoid. Probably worse when I was younger. I made a conscious decision to ignore 'them'. They probably know lots about me anyway; if they want to get me, they will get me. But I will not allow them to control my life by intimidation. It's sort of like facing up the school bully. Getting beat up is better than living forever in fear. And besides, most of the time, the stuff we fear never happens. You might honestly assess yourself, too. Do you know anything that would justify the expense of having two agents watch your place all day? In the grand scale of the nation, just how dangerous or important are you? Being a nobody can be very liberating.
Yeah, I agree with you Archie. When I was talking to my friend about the two "agents" his dad said "Of course because you're so important." It was very funny. At least I can realize when I am being paranoid.
Well you mention you've had a problem with your DVD's going missing, quite simply whoever is thieving them is the one breaking the law and you concerns about what the company will do in regards to you reporting it is actually aiding that criminal. Obviously they know you keep getting films which is why they keep hitting your box, so the only option there is to capture the thief in the act. Rig some camera's up on the box (perhaps embedding one in your actual box itself) and see if you can capture the thief on tape. I say this as obviously the Law will probably ignore such petty crimes, however if the criminal is caught red handed there's someone to point out about the problem. (Probably turn out to be a Crack head) At least the thief however has been stealing and not replacing the DVD's with some Nasty pr0n otherwise you'd have even more concerns. As for being watched.... For the most part to be watched by people means that a person has done a crime of some sort which usually means a run up to warrants etc. Usually the person they are watching has obviously done something of great concern, either a large amount of fraud, Blackmail, robbery, physical violence (Rape, Murder) and of course something terroristic. The point is that not everyone in your neighbourhood is necessarily legitimate, perhaps someone nearby was buying a lot of drugs with a lot of stolen merchandise and they just happened to be watching them. Perhaps they were waiting for someone that's on parole or skipper parole, you just don't know. (This of course means they could of been bail bondsman, which might be the reason that you didn't see them stakeout for long)
Good step you can mention whilst you isth being paranoid, my good friend. Go see a doctor etc; unless your perception of the computer screen is disfigmented or something and you won't even listen to me- as I was so many years ago on sci-forums asking for help. There's a lot of shit out there; ya know, keep with the flow, go see a doctor if required, or even if paranoid... hmmm... and get the idea in your mind to achieve for that which you desire... (IMO anyway, tell me if this has been useful? thx)
It seemed like you feared offending people in another thread. The worst thing people can do to you if you offend them is kill you. Might as well be free if you are not afraid of death.
and I hear some say that there are worth things than "death"...go figure I was wrong :shrug: Or was I? Imagine a scenario...shall we...
He's a big boy. He can explain what he is really afraid of. It will be a good exercise. When people say they are not afraid of death, unless they are in incredible pain - I truly doubt they know themselves. But let's see what his fears are if they are not death. Fear of offending people seems a very mild consequence to put higher than a fear of death. I mean being held in a dungeon and tortured for years, OK. I understand. But offending...? The fact is that we are all offensive to someone already. Unless you hide in your basement your style choices, accent, music choices, use of language - slang, curse words, the lack of these, whatever - will be offensive to someone.' So what is the real fear here? I think it was worth putting his lack of fear of death and his fear of offending someone in the same topic. The contrast in interesting at the very least and perhaps we'll all learn something from how this is so in him.
"It seemed like you feared offending people in another thread. The worst thing people can do to you if you offend them is kill you. Might as well be free if you are not afraid of death." It was early in the morning and I was in a funny mood. So I wrote something I normally wouldn't. I realized how childish I was behaving and so I fixed it. No, I avoid offending people when I am clear in mind, which isn't in the morning when I didn't sleep well the previous night. Oh yeah...Fuck You!!! LOL oops...now I am scared!!!Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Nothing personal..though...really!
"He's a big boy. He can explain what he is really afraid of. It will be a good exercise. When people say they are not afraid of death, unless they are in incredible pain - I truly doubt they know themselves." I have no fear!!! Really...naughta....zilch....dittily...squat....nur.....zero Sometimes there is pain, so what. I am not afraid of that either. Fear fears me! Did you read the thread what is the 6th dimension? I am a death seeker. I seek death...but I cannot cheat with suicide...its breaking the code I live by! Fear is a prison. It will prevent one from ever knowing the truth! When death takes me in her arms I will not resist! I will die with a smile. Do you know what death shock is? Its a real thing that 99.9999% (well maybe thats exaggerating...but my wife and all the people she has ever worked with have never seen a person die without experiencing death shock!) of all people experience when they die! How do I know? My wife tells me all about it. Its part of her job to be there when people are dying, she has witnessed one too many deaths. She tells me how they fear those last seconds, shaking and convulsing. Some yoga masters have been able to actively leave when they choose, dying in the depth of their truth. They have no shock! Nor will I!:thumbsup: "But let's see what his fears are if they are not death. Fear of offending people seems a very mild consequence to put higher than a fear of death." Ask BentheMan how offensive I can be when I'm not thinking. I can get stupid from time to time, we all can! I don't regret the things I say too much, nor fear them, but I do apologize. BEN is a MAN, he didn't give me shit about my blow up. I respect that! By the way...sorry I said fuck you. Three 'things' have smashed fear forever for me. They helped me! I can get out of line sometimes, thats when I need to be reminded. Its my freaking viking blood....calm....Bang!!! Its probably a gene from my DAD! "I mean being held in a dungeon and tortured for years, OK. I understand. But offending...? The fact is that we are all offensive to someone already. Unless you hide in your basement your style choices, accent, music choices, use of language - slang, curse words, the lack of these, whatever - will be offensive to someone.'" The dungeon trick wouldn't work on me. I would be free of my obligation to exist and I know how to die using my thoughts to slow the biorythyms so I can pass on. That last part you just said is almost always correct! "So what is the real fear here?" I can hardly remember? I remember having tremendous fear at one time when I was younger. It paralyzed my mind. I hesitated. Didn't act with the same stride or strength. It always seems that maybe the government had some evil conspiracy to kill everyone, except for the elite and some slaves. What a dumb fantasy!! Then it seemed like I was being watched! A secretive cult tried to recruit me, but I was scared of that too. Now I could care less. If I am being watched, good. I will use it to my advantage. If I am silenced, I will become the watcher!!! "I think it was worth putting his lack of fear of death and his fear of offending someone in the same topic. The contrast in interesting at the very least and perhaps we'll all learn something from how this is so in him." Once again...F*ck You!!! I was merely trying to catch and compose myself. Its called trying to do the right thing. Trying to stand above the petty childishness. Showing respect!!! And once again...sorry I said F*ck You.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
