A4Ever, what I consider a "nice-guy" The essence of the "nice-guy." "Why do I have to do that? Can't they do that?" - They don't take the INITIATIVE, too afraid to. "He called me a weakling, I'm hurt." - Too SENSITIVE! You should be AWARE, but not sensitive. "I don't think I am capable of that..." - Expect SUCCESS! Be CONFIDENT! Don't be pessimistic. "I do things for other people where I don't really want to do them. But I just do it anyway so people will like me more." - Do not seek approval. Do things for YOURSELF. Selfish? Hell no! You must respect yourself first, if you don't how you think others will respect you? "I avoid conflicts and altercations." - Stand up for yourself. This is derived from your self-esteem and self-respect. Value yourself in order to be valued. Being called a "pussy" will be the kiss of death in life. "I consider myself more sensitively evolved than most men." - You might as well be a girl. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! "Is he/she going to like what I say? I'm afraid." - Get over the stupid fear. Speak your mind, yet be aware of being offensive. Don't be afraid of yourself and what you say. Just be AWARE, not afraid. "I ask for permission in situations where I know I don't need it." - Supplication? Why ask? You are in charge of yourself. "My emotional well-being is dependant on someone else. I am ONLY happy when they are." - Desperation is the death to all success and respect. In summation, you don't want to be called a "nice-guy" in today's society. But for women "nice guy" is a term used by females to describe a male who is not a potential mate for attraction. But they are potential partners in marriages. Anything other than that list, would fall in the GENTLEMAN category.
Nice People that want help ask! To consider that one doesnt know whats good for him without considerations is a form of control and lack of respect for others ideals and opinions! This ideal is the basis for Communism! Bob
Theory on why people respect harshness more. When someone approaches you in a nice way, you can get the feeling that he wants something from you. Someone who are harsh give the impression that they are self sufficient and that they don't need you for anything. If they wanted something, they would be nice, no?
Not neccessarily. By that definition, we are all "nice-guys." There are other terms to relate, you're a decent guy, great guy, good guy, etc. But never the "nice-guy" Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Nope, guys never want to be the "nice guy". That term usually means more than being nice, many times it means weak-personality. I don't know about all this Don Juan rubbish. The only time I could see actively subscribing to something like it is if you have a hard time talking to women or something. When I was single, I didn't need a philosophy to tell me to be confident, secure, and polite. Some of my friends could have used it though...
Wrong perception Good, glad you accepted that fact. It's not *actually* a "philosophy" but others prefer to call it so. It doesn't *tell* you to do anything, it is advice, we choose the advice. The advice is not the master. The problem is that you are assuming. I have not subscribed to anything. You don't need to spend your money on anything to be labelled as a "Don Juan." Such perceptionis are suspectible to attacks on Don Juan as money hoggers or manipulators, etc. All that crap. A Don Juan is just a simple axiom of a real man. All men want to be real men. Rubbish you say?
You are right I am assuming. I know nothing about 'Don Juan' except there was some cheesy movie with Johnny Depp where he was Don Juan or something. You seem to have some juvenile interpretation of what a 'real' man is. I could be reading you the wrong way...but in any case whatever works for you...
Not at all "juvenile" but whatever floats your boat. But now you've gotten me inquisitive, what have I said that provides you to such a statement?
Chosen - a little wake up call. The asshole A4's friend does not refer to 'Don Juan' nice guys. He refers to the kind of nice human being I'm talking about. You're taking everything in the romantic term when it's not meant to.
Oh no, not another Don Juan dispute. I have ten bucks on Chosen, if only 'cuz he's a minority and Don Giovanni is a kick-arse opera. (Logic is for pussies. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! ) God is dead. And Chosen, I like this. You may be relying on your DJ thing as a crutch, please don't take this as an insult, because I use Nietzsche that way a little - but you are almost creating your own morality. And that I like. As for being nice: If you are naturally nice, go for it. If you are not naturally nice and don't want to be nice, don't be nice. Be yourself. Edit to add: To Chosen in particular: I mean, nobody wants to end up like Calphan in "The Tempest" "Caliphan Has got a new master, will be a new man!"
I'm not a nice guy. I'm a 'Good Fellow' Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I have a pretty nifty walking stick, does that make me a gentleman? Or do I need a top hat?
Ok, this has probably all been done before so we can make it quick... This sounds like you are saying that a 'real man' is directly related to a man's success in mating with the opposite sex. While this is a great measure of a male's success for say, gorillas, I would place a man's relations with the opposite sex fairly low in what makes a 'real man'. By 'real man' I assume you mean a man that is successful and respectable. I would gives things such as being a leader and a father much more weight. When I was younger(college), one of my main goals in life was hooking up with as many women as possible. I don't regret it and it makes perfectly logical sense at that time in life. When you get older and seek more meaningful relationships, priorities change. Anyone can be a 'player'. Some people never grow up and remain that way their entire lives. I have a couple of uncles who are old, lonely, and unhappy because they cheat on everyone they have ever been with.
I think the original idea was that people respect harsh people more than nice people. With nice people I mean open and friendly people who don't attack without a reason. It doesn't mean that a nice person is a wimp, like comes forward from Chosen's definitions. As far as it is relevant for the original question, I think Tyler's definition is more what I meant. But keep going, any direction can be interesting.
Alright You are the one thinking. Anyone can be a real man. If you are one, women will be naturally attracted to you. It's not all about women. What a real man is, is someone who controls his own life, who's confident. Why do women keep mentioning, "where have all the real men gone?" A real man is not a man chasing women, a real man is a man chasing his OWN desires and goals, this results in women chasing him. You do notice, anyone who is successful and respectable is attractive to all sorts of people, may it be women, men, etc. Wrong, I don't _need_ a girl, I'm way too busy for that, and I've noticed since I portray such a character, alot more women are wanting to be with me, they want to be a part of my "busy life." It's a challenge for them, and women love challenge. Great. That's your perception. Don Juans can be players or not. Some are, some aren't. But judging others is where you go wrong. Ok, then proclaim yourself to be a nice guy to the entire world. Let's see everyone's reaction towards you, etc. Especially notice the women's. They will definitely perceive you differently. I will never call myself a nice guy, I am a good fella, good guy, great guy, gentleman, etc. never the nice, our society has placed a bad perception on a "nice-guy." Feel free to call yourself whatever you want. To me, you sound more like a good-guy. Tyler don't even think about being pejorative and telling me I need a wake-up call. A4Ever was not really all that specific. He could detail what kind of NICE people his friend "harms." There are barely any details, so I explained what type of "nice people" get walked over and "hurt." I am not relating everything in the romantic sense. You need to STOP thinking a Don Juan is all about women. Show me where I link EVERYTHING in the romantic term. You must have missed my posts.
A4Ever Detail what kind of "nice" these people are. What do they do? How do they act/react? What does your friend say about them? Why don't I pull an Adam and take that out of context and put it into my signature? How would you feel? What would you call it? "logic is for pussies" - Xev Do you like that?
Chosen: I'd call it "not noticing emoticons". I'd feel like my leg itches. (Well it DOES!) *Bows* I'm so fucking wise. I am like, Buddha. Ooooh, Chosen! Quote me out of context! Ignore my emoticons! Huuurt meee! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Nice Guy's and Week Personalities Hmmmm.......so If your a nice guy it shows a week personality? Not at all, it shows a level of personal control, and intelligents. I think the saying goes "YOU CANT MAKE A SILK PURSE OUT OF A SOWS EAR!". The answer is why bother! I like my way of dealing with it, "Protect the innocent, Convience the Undecided, Kill the rest!" Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Bobby Lee
Hehe, just giving an example Xev. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! You better watch out, I might actually hurt you, I'm not usually a "nice-guy" but I never hit a woman with her clothes on! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Bah fucking humbug Chosen, we* all know that you are really a submissive. Secretly, you long to be placed at the mercy of a stunningly beautiful and remorselessly vicious woman with a riding crop. *Xev pauses a moment then starts giggling hysterically* You started this. Bobby Lee: Oh right, I'd better say something of substance. Ummmm..... Welcome to Sciforums. Kittens are cute. The mass of the electron is 9.11*10^-31 kg. You may note that I do not care to see rudeness undervalued; for it is by far the most humane form of contradiction, and, amid modern effemiancy, it is one of our first virtues. --Friedrich Nietzsche A god descending to earth would not be anything but rude. Nice? To others? Why? * 7 out of ten of Xev's multiple personalities agree!
So I get even more interested in this strange character called Nietzsche, but no, we can't discuss him, we can only quote him, wetting my appetite to Niagaric proportions! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! The Nietzsche question and the niceness thread interconnect. It seems that many support these anti-Christian (just a name to label) thoughts. I want to know why. I notice similarities between my harsh friends and some posts of Xev and Joeman. (In no way do I mean you guys are prics - no smiley) That intrigues me. I don't think I could ever be like that. You also use similar motivations for having a go at someone. You claim it will have more effect. After many flamewars (not that I have seen that many) Xev and Joeman are still highly respected. Disclaimer: I hope you guys don't take that personal and can see what I mean and what I'm interested in. In most stories (which are as unsubstantiated as your claim) where a God walks the earth, he is nice to people. Jesus is still the prime example of a nice guy. I don't know about the intelligence, but I do consider politeness sometimes a form of personal control. When someone shouts at me, I can keep myself calm and respond with logic arguments. Maybe that is a form of passive aggressiveness. Like I said, you can talk about whatever you want, whatever direction you want to go. The nice people confronting my friend will not have a cheap swing at someone, will be polite, will be... well the things that Tyler mentioned. They try to talk. Show him that his way of acting will get him nowhere. After a while, they turn away from him, cause they have boundaries to being nice. Maybe that is not so well put, cause they will still be nice to him, they will only make sure there is no personal involvement anymore, and they will avoid his company. So I don't think nice guys are by definition push overs, like you said, Chosen.
