Most fucked up songs of all time

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by Cortex_Colossus, May 23, 2007.

  1. superstring01 Moderator

    Messages:
    12,110
    Detachable Penis by King Missile

    I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
    And my penis was missing again.
    This happens all the time.
    It's detachable.

    [background singing begins:
    "detachable penis" over and over]


    This comes in handy a lot of the time.
    I can leave it home, when I think
    it's gonna get me in trouble,
    or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
    But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
    and the next morning I can't for the life of me
    remember what I did with it.
    First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
    So I called up the place where the party was,
    they hadn't seen it either.
    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
    'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
    But not this time.
    So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
    I called a few people who were at the party,
    but they were no help either.
    I was starting to get desperate.
    I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
    It makes me feel like less of a man,
    and I really hate having to sit down
    every time I take a leak.
    After a few hours of searching the house,
    and calling everyone I could think of,
    I was starting to get very depressed,
    so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
    Then, as I walked down Second Avenue
    towards St. Mark's Place,
    where all those people sell used books
    and other junk on the street,
    I saw my penis lying on a blanket
    next to a broken toaster oven.
    Some guy was selling it.
    I had to buy it off him.
    He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I
    talked him down to seventeen.
    I took it home, washed it off,
    and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
    People sometimes tell me I should get
    it permanently attached,
    but I don't know.
    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
    I like having a detachable penis.

    [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
    a while, then out]
     
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  3. Xelios We're setting you adrift idiot Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,447
    Yeah that one's definately in the top 10. Most of King Missile's songs are more than strange, just the titles even:

    The Boy Made Out of Bone China
    The Little Sandwich That Got A Guilt Complex Because He Was The Sole Survivor Of A Horrible Bus Crash
    The Adventures of Planky the Plucky Plankton
    The Boy Who Ate Lasagna And Could Jump Over A Church

    And of course, The Miracle of Childbirth...
     
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  5. pjdude1219 The biscuit has risen Valued Senior Member

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    macarthur's park
     
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  7. spidergoat Venued Serial Membership Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    53,201
    What about "Henrietta Collins and the Wife Beating Child Haters"? Sure King Missile is strange, but it's not that f-ed up.
     
  8. Gustav Banned Banned

    Messages:
    12,575

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!





    She’s just 14 – little movie star queen
    There isn’t much she hasn’t seen
    She “did it” in a limousine car
    She datd pop stars
    Hey Rainbow Hair, say that’s no where

    But she always says
    I’m just a sexy trash can
    But she’s just a little girl, who thinks like a man
    And sometimes her Daddy’s spoiled her
    Sometimes he treated her rough
    Sometimes she’s gentle
    Sometimes she’s tough

    But she is always too nice to the driver
    She says James have you had your supper
    And she’s always too high on arrival
    And she runs on her high platform heels
    And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels

    She got the moves, yeah she got looks
    She got the style, she’s read all the books
    And nobody got her on her hooks
    She’s on a real smooth trip, yes a real smooth trip

    She’s always too nice to the driver
    She says James have you had your supper
    And she’s always too high on arrival
    And she runs on her high platform heels
    And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels

    I see her sipping her Thunderbird wine
    Wonderin’ if she’s the last word in space and time
    And she knows she is, She’s so pleased to discover
    She’s so hip. She’s on a smooth trip.

    Well she’s always too nice to the driver
    She says James have you had your supper
    And she’s always too high on arrival
    And she runs on her high platform heels
    And she falls flat on her face and she knows how life feels
     
  9. Giambattista sssssssssssssssssssssssss sssss Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,878
    Gusto.. that was my life before I found God... :argue:

    In other news...

    I've always thought "Slender Fungus" by Tones on Tail was a pretty weird song. Sickly weird.

    They Might Be Giants always had peculiar, nonsensical lyrics, but I don't think that makes them f'd up.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2010
  10. Giambattista sssssssssssssssssssssssss sssss Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,878
    Ooo! It detaches to do WHAT?

    I have never heard this song, but have heard of it.. many many times. It's a classic, I'm told.
     
  11. Repo Man Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,955
  12. TFL ʞǝǝƃ ɐ ʇsnɾ Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    128
    This may be a horrible zombie thread, but this needed to be posted:

    We Will Become Silhouettes

    I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water,
    And pictures of you and I'm not coming out
    Until this is all over
    And I'm looking through the glass where the light bends
    At the cracks
    And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending
    The echoes belong to someone
    Someone I used to know

    And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
    Ba ba ba...

    I wanted to walk through the empty streets
    And feel something constant under my feet,
    But all the news reports recommended that
    I stay indoors
    Because the air outside will make our cells
    Divide at an alarming rate until our shells
    Simply cannot hold all our insides in,
    And that's when we'll explode
    (and it won't be a pretty sight)

    And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
    Ba ba ba...
    And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
    Ba ba ba...
    And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
    Ba ba ba...
    And we'll become silhouettes when our bodies finally go
    Ba ba ba...

    And we'll become
    And we'll become
     
  13. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,690
    "She Left Me for Jesus" by Hayes Carll -- a hit in 2008
    You should see the video!

    We'd been datin' since high school; we never once left this town.
    We went out every weekend and drank till we drowned.
    But now she's acting funny and I don't understand.
    I think she's found her some other man.

    CHORUS
    She left me for Jesus and that just ain't fair.
    She says that he's perfect, and how could I compare?
    She says I should find him and I'll know peace at last.
    If I ever find Jesus I'm kickin' his ass.

    She showed me his picture, all I could do was stare
    At that freak in his sandals and his long pretty hair.
    They must think I'm stupid, that I don't have a clue.
    Why I'll bet he's a commie, or worse yet, a Jew.

    CHORUS

    She's given up whiskey and taken up wine.
    While she prays for his troubles, she's forgot about mine.
    I'm gonna get even, can't handle the shame.
    Why, the last time we made love she even called out his name.

    CHORUS

    Coda:
    It could have been Carlos, or even Billy or Ted.
    But if I ever find Jesus, he's gonna wish he was dead.
    Amen.
     
  14. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,760
    Dax Riggs of Acid Bath fame has always had th most consistantly effed up lyrics I've ever heard. The commercial appeal of his voice makes it even more creepy.
    The weirdest ones I can't even post. Mostly just an abstract haze of drugs, murder and death delivered by a great voice. It's a sickness all his own. As much as I like his voice, I just can't endorse his lyrics.
     
  15. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,760
    Here's a newer tune that I love by JB. You know you're Fkd up when it starts to make sense.

    Jockey Full Of Bourbon-Joe Bonamassa

    Edna million in a drop dead suit
    Dutch pink on a downtown train
    Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
    I'm in the corner on the pouring rain
    Sixteen men on a dead man's chest
    I been drinking from the broken cup
    Two pairs of pants and a mohair vest
    I'm full of bourbon and i can't stand up

    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone
    Hey little bird , you fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone

    Schiffer broke a bottle on Morgan's head
    I'm stepping on the devil's tail
    Across the stripes of a full moon's head
    All through the bar's of a Cuban jail
    Bloody finger's on a purple knife
    Flamingo drinking from a cocktail glass
    I'm on the lawn with someone else's wife
    Admire the view from the top of the mast

    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone
    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone

    Yellow sheets on a Hong Kong bed
    Stazybo horn and a slingerland ride
    To the carnival is what she said
    A couple hundred dollars makes it dark inside
    Edna million in a drop dead suit
    Dutch pink on a downtown train
    Two dollar pistol but the gun won't shoot
    I'm in the corner on the pouring rain

    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone
    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , Children Alone

    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , children alone
    Hey little bird , fly away home
    Your house is on fire , your children alone
     
  16. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,690
    That's an ancient rhyme from old folk songs and nursery rhymes. I first heard it 50 years ago as:

    Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home.
    Your house is on fire and your children will burn.

    In England, ladybugs became known as "ladybirds." Somewhere in the past "bug" developed a connotation of sodomy, from "buggery" (originally meaning merely heresy), a word we don't use in America.

    So presumably in the U.K. the verse was changed to "ladybird," which easily becomes "little bird" in the haphazard passing down of nursery rhymes from parents to children.
     
  17. spidergoat Venued Serial Membership Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    53,201
    I have to agree, he's the most fucked up rock and roller ever.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2010
  18. quadraphonics Bloodthirsty Barbarian Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,391
    How has nobody mentioned GWAR yet?

    I'm thinking Rock'n'Roll Never Felt So Good should be on any list of most fucked-up songs...
     
  19. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,913
    Aborted - The Chondrin Enigma

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGkU_ZgOWfs

    Lyrics:

    Ooow!!! Alive?!!!

    Vivified by the reek of depravity
    A cesspool of existence
    Emotive, I'm a wreck!

    Breathing through a Test Tube
    - Only to realize
    Hooked to Apparatus
    - Drilled into my core
    Horrible muted stench,
    With rotting flesh
    I am adorn

    Alive?
    Or subsequently a function to maintain
    In this cesspool of existence
    Creative, I am a wreck!
    On the frontier of insanity
    Awoken now clearly my eyes see red
    The Chondrin Enigma... Unfolds

    Amputated
    - Stumps of pounded beef
    Consumed - Sodomite cheeks in a composting brew
    Amputated
    - Festering pounded meat
    Consumed - Extracted malformations secrete

    Kept alive,
    To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess
    This gangrenous hive
    Ignoramus in an obsolete status

    And now I'm taking control
    Gathering my scattered mess
    And now I'm taking control
    Bleeding the sepsis that cankers in me
    Bleeding the cancer that is humanity
    And extirpates it all...

    Kept alive,
    To service in servitude like a shrivelling mess
    This gangrenous hive
    Ignoramus in an obsolete status

    Breathing through a Test Tube
    - Only to realize
    Hooked to Apparatus
    - Drilled into my core
    Horrible muted stench,
    With rotting flesh
    I am adorn

    Alive?
    Or subsequently a function to maintain
    In this cesspool of existence
    Abrasive, I am a wreck!
    On the frontier of morality
    Deceased now clearly my eyes bled dry
    The Chondrin Enigma... Appends
    Ya!
     
  20. Gustav Banned Banned

    Messages:
    12,575
    wtf?


    She’s just 14 – little movie star queen
    There isn’t much she hasn’t seen
    She “did it” in a limousine car
    She dated pop stars


    umm, john phillips of the mama and papas singing about his daughter, mackenzie with whom he allegedly had an incestuous affair for 10 years?

    how is that not the most fucked up?
    i mean, real life vs hollywood scripts put into verse?

    /sneer
     
  21. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,690
    NOW I CAN DIE by Nina Gordon, formerly half of Veruca Salt

    He takes me everywhere he goes,
    And he goes everywhere.
    He likes to try on all my clothes,
    But not my underwear.
    Yeah, he really loves me,
    "Sweetheart's" and "Turtle Dove's" me.
    Now I know the secrets of the world.

    I am the girl and he is the guy.
    I never thought life could be simple and wise.
    Surprise! surprise!
    He opened up my eyes.
    I understand everything... and now I can die.

    (This is explained and softened in the later verses, but it blew me out of my car seat the first time I heard it.)
     
  22. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Staff Member

    Messages:
    35,594
    Just not fucked up enough ....

    Fraggle

    I keep thinking of Tanita Tikaram's "Poor Cow", but it just doesn't seem fucked up enough for this thread. Nonetheless:

    "Poor Cow", by Tanita Tikaram

    Today is my birthday,
    I stay outside the hall.
    Inside sit the butterflies
    For the butterfly ball.

    All the boys are graded now;
    They come in their white socks, flat tops
    And somehow they find a place.
    All the boys are winning now,
    They play all the tricks with smiles
    And a sorry past
    For poor cow.

    Their own room
    And winter tales
    Never touched these girls before.
    They hear the car stereo,
    And know what life is for.

    All the boys are weary now,
    Listening to the family sing-song,
    Family say-so—

    Must carve, must carve poor cow.
    Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.
    Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.
    Slice her, slice her up, poor cow.

    Today is my birthday,
    I stay outside the hall.
    Inside sit the butterflies
    For the butterfly ball.
     
  23. Oldboy Registered Member

    Messages:
    51
    Menace Clan - Record Deal

    This song was pretty fucked up.

    I don't give a fuck if the record label drop
    I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy
    I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal
    We live on Athens Avalon
    My niggas dying in Babylon
    I say kill whitey
    All mighty God
    Niggas in the church say "Ahhhhhhh"
    See, I could get a record deal if I said fuck niggas
    But I can't get no record deal because I say fuck white people
    I stabbed a fucking Jew with a steeple
    We ain't equal
    I drop bombs on uncle toms
    Niggas shoot niggas for just the fuck of it
    But I would kill a cracker for the fuck of it
    Because I don't give a fuck if the record label drop
    I don't give a fuck if I sell one copy
    I'll kill a devil right now and scream fuck a record deal!
    Fuck all that shit you talking about
    Catch that devil slipping, blow his fucking brains out
    Just before that video shoot, just before you get that loot
    Grab that devil in the chokehold
    Enough weed, that fluid needs to be green
    Niggas in the maze know what the fuck I mean
    Because you been killing us
    Justice will be served
    Brains splattered all over the curb
    Motherfucker I say
    Fuck the Houston police
    Mothafucka I say fuck the LA police
    Rappers say they REAL
    Rappers say they REAL
    But I'll kill a devil right now and say fuck a record deal!
    Rappers say they black but I'm blacker
    I'll take a tec 9 and kill a motherfucking cracker
    Niggas straight up looting
    Drive by shooting
    Menace Clan!
    Shoot that devil! Shoot that devil!
    I'm the
    LAPD killer
    CIA killer
    FBI killer
    Uncle tom killer
    I'm the white people killer
    KKK killer
    Anybody killer!
     

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