What is the best way for a woman in love to approach her loved one?
Naked. Usually just showing up does the trick though...
Love
- Thread starter Mandana
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Naked. Usually just showing up does the trick though...
Honestly I can... I may be wrong but I'm totally honest!
You are in love with a man who is in another country and have never met him. You want his attention and want him to get to know you better - without ever meeting you in person.
How can you know him quite well when you have never met him in person?
The thing with the internet is that you only know him to the extent that he has told you about him (ie. He has let you know what he wants you to know and nothing more).
Actually he hasn't told me much about himself.Almost all I know about him is the information I have gethered about him through the years first by curosity, then because I liked him and eventually because I loved him.Our story is so complicated I know. Once we used to live in the same town, then it happened that we live far apart.I don't seek to justify my feelings though, I have questioned them already a thousand times... but my feelings are always there, whether I like them, oppose them or ignore them.
Not yet!
The choice for science forum.. well this is a masculine psychology question in origin, and also those here on sci forums usually have the best answers!
Personally I'm afraid to be direct.Thanks for your advice and yes you can't make anyone love you, absolutely true I think.For letting me know... Subtly... and romantic!
I don't know about saying "love" but being direct and saying "I have feelings for you" is far better than being subtle or ignoring things. I got the impression they'd known each other longer than a few days, and she did say she knows him quite well, although that could be subjective.
You never know, he might secretly be feeling the same way. Or she could be a slightly obsessive nutter.
Too direct is a recipe for getting hurt.
All guys are different, and this guy may respond to a very direct approach in several different ways. He may cut and run. He may decide to exploit you for sex. He may treat you with contempt. Or he may decide to give love a go. The latter is not necessarily the most likely. As I said - a recipe for getting hurt.
A bit of subtlety is better. Show friendliness and hope it goes from there. Make yourself look good, and he may get interested.
All guys are different, and this guy may respond to a very direct approach in several different ways. He may cut and run. He may decide to exploit you for sex. He may treat you with contempt. Or he may decide to give love a go. The latter is not necessarily the most likely. As I said - a recipe for getting hurt.
A bit of subtlety is better. Show friendliness and hope it goes from there. Make yourself look good, and he may get interested.
The choice for science forum.. well this is a masculine psychology question in origin, and also those here on sci forums usually have the best answers!
We have the best science answers, I'm not sure there are many people here who are experts on love!
I don't think anybody isn't afraid to be direct with these things as there are many undesirable outcomes, but often being subtle doesn't get the message across, and more than that it doesn't get you an obvious, open and honest reply - which is what you need to hear to know whether or not you have a future with him and to allow you to move on(should you have to).
Don't say "love", but make it clear you have feelings beyond normal friendship and desire spending time getting to know him deeply. Think carefully what to say so that it doesn't sound creepy, but that the message is still clear. Be brave, and be prepared incase it doesn't go the way you would like.
Mandana,
I believe that true love is the most beautiful human feelings.
But a lot are not able to love.They do not understand what it means to love or to love is another meaning for many.
Are many who never knew love because it was forbidden love and her husband was elected by parents.
As a practical advice.
Says nothing about your love but behave so that he believe,he has the initiative.
How to behave? Here I can not help you.Women have their particular methods.
Bells
Staff member
Hmmm which do you think it is by this response?
Mandana said:
Sooo... Because you love him, you chose to dig through the internet (I am assuming) and find out what you could about it from such external sources, rather than talk to him and ask him directly about himself? Aside from confirming why people should not disclose too much information about themselves on the internet or make such information available on sites like Facebook, etc, you don't find this particularly strange?
Tell me, is this person famous? Because at the moment, I am getting the distinct impression of the whole 'I'm your number one fan' thing from this saga.
Well, it would have been impolite to advise she gets several cats....
Direct or subtle, that is the question! Thanks for all your responses.. I need to think. I'm ready for whatever his response might be though, I can't bear keeping this secret anymore.
This sounds like a great way!
Sooo... Because you love him, you chose to dig through the internet (I am assuming) and find out what you could about it from such external sources, rather than talk to him and ask him directly about himself? Aside from confirming why people should not disclose too much information about themselves on the internet or make such information available on sites like Facebook, etc, you don't find this particularly strange?
Tell me, is this person famous? Because at the moment, I am getting the distinct impression of the whole 'I'm your number one fan' thing from this saga.
It happened so naturally for me... and at first I only wanted to get to know him by curosity. I got the information through internet and through other channels also.It sounds strange though, even crazy, for myself also. He is known in certain fields of his activity. He is famous or not? Yes and no... he has fans but he doesn't have for example a " wikipedia page ". He is more or less known among certain people.
Have you already skyped with each others? (cam) You collected information about him over the years in spite of the fact that he apparently didn't tell you much about himself? Wow..are you stalking him?
Insightful...:bravo:
You're someone?
Have you already skyped with each others? (cam) You collected information about him over the years in spite of the fact that he apparently didn't tell you much about himself? Wow..are you stalking him?
We haven't talked on skype. We are friends and we talk outside skype and webcams.I'm not sure how it's possible to take the friendship to another level without scaring him away or sounding awkward, any ideas?
It's been quite a long time that we know each other but it isn't long since we are a bit closer... I long to know him more, his personality and his works interest me a lot (he's an artist).It would be good if he was maybe... maybe he would guess!