Is trust earned or learned?

Yeah OK I over reacted. I'll try and laugh it off then.

 

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Every experience can help us to grow.

 

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Don't let the sun go down on your anger

King James Bible Ephesians 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

I've got 3 hours to get over my tantrum!

 

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Wegs, that observation you made about being wary of someone saying "I love you." very early in a relationship is a good one. Love needs time to develop. Love at first sight generally isn't a trustworthy notion. My parents thought they had such quick-forming love, but, it turns out, they didn't end up loving each other much during their marriage.

 

Robittybob1, I do not know where the over-reacted came from. Trust in the positive, life tastes a lot sweeter, looks a lot brighter, and feels just so much more enjoyable, that way!

 

Thanks Dmoe it wasn't anything between us. I'm fine now. Positive thinking might be what I should do. "I'm going to have a productive week at work." "I'm going to knuckle down and catch up on my to do list." Even saying something positive helps. Thanks again.

 

There are definitely winners and losers in love. We had a wonderful story of these two that fell in love in 1949 and have just got married this year.

Can you see this link, it is an amazing story!

http://tvnz.co.nz/sunday-news/war-sweethearts-reunited-video-5531191
WOW- Childhood Sweethearts, Bob Humphries and Bernie Bluett, M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsRdbXEdytQ
a bit of it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/17/bob-humphries-bernie-bluett_n_3611961.html

If you Google "Bob Humphries and Bernie Bluett" there are 3 pages of links to go to.

 

That's a great story. I wonder if that can happen as easily anymore with how life has become more complicated with so many possibilities for individuality that can cause friction in a relationship.

 

aw, sorry about your parents. yeah...there's really no such thing as 'love' at first sight.
lust, yes.
infatuation, yes.
not love.

love takes time, and it needs trust to hold its hand. and trust does not happen over night...

thanks for your thoughts.

i am cautiously optimistic about the idea of................love

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Are there mental blocks to love? Sometimes these blocks are not there and it allows the brains messages through, triggering the right feeling.
I suppose it works when it is a two-way event, then both feel love. It certainly can be a one-sided affair, but at least that is the side you, yourself, are responsible for - you have to do your bit in a relationship.
You can't make someone love you, but it starts by feeling and desiring love toward them.
It won't always work out but if barriers are always raised, it seems rather hopeless.

 

All this talk of being complementary in a relationship and making it add up to "one" bugs me. Well if you think of one being the 90 degree right angle, to be a full right angle all 90 degrees has to be filled. It seems a senseless analogy for surely there are going to be over lapping parts too. Like the each maybe 89 degrees but when overlapped they just get only to the 90 degree, for the major part (strengths) is overlapped.
I cannot see how complementary parts in a relationship work. Intensification seems to be more like it, two people with a similar goal working together, rather than two filling in the gaps left by their partner. Sure even the two working parallel would see the sense of filling in gaps, for they don't want to see a good thing fail.
It is certainly able to be manipulated, you can make a marriage succeed or you can make it fail.
To make it successful is a mission, lots of bumps along the way, but it could be worth it trying.

 

These two had trust in each other and were complementary yet also 100% individually too.
Torvill & Dean - 1984 Olympics - Bolero - HQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2zbbN4OL98

 

why do you think about this so much, robittybob? you seem affected by the subject. just wondering.

 

I struggled to find my complement. I think that person is someone who is interested in Christianity and Science and that seems to be very rare combination. A true Christian Darwinist like myself. I don't want another atheist, or a New Age follower.
And I'm running out of time!

 

so, you end up finding it..then what? then they die, or they leave you. or they hurt you.
i wish i believed in fairy tales (well i believe in fairies...)

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but...i don't.

there is no ...ever after.
so find happiness on your own...and if the right person comes along to complement you, great.
if not...why 'struggle?'

no offense, you sound like you're shopping for a mate. 'i don't want...' 'i do want.'
people can't be ordered, like you're ordering food off of a menu.
they're human beings, so...maybe that's your problem.

Anyway...I'm meeting someone for dinner tonight; I guess I should keep an open mind.

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All that could be fair criticism, but what I've said I've said, and it was how I felt at the time.

I suppose you have read how in Genesis 24 the Lord chose "A Wife for Isaac"? Stranger things have happened, and the Lord is still alive.
They had their shopping list ... she must not be a Canaanite, etc. Nothing has changed we all do it don't we. Don't we all set the criteria that must be met? I don't know really because in the end you only know yourself fully.

 

Hmmm, they didn't seem all that happy back then.
They asked for divorces back then too.

Plus marriages were typically arranged...
Wasn't one "prophet" screwing his maid behind his wife's back because said wife was barren?

Yeah...good times back then!

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I only suggest you don't get so caught up in the list of what you wish for, that you overlook the heart of the person.

 

Maybe a "gold ring for her nose and two large gold bracelets for her wrists" will fix it. Just kidding.

Look at "the heart of the other person", - lay it out in front of me. I am listening. How else can I see what is in their heart unless they tell me.
I'm all ears.
Doesn't the Lord know our hearts as well? So the wrong one passes the criteria test? It happens, but there is a purpose to this whole drama of humankind. I have to accept the Lord brought me the atheist and the New Age person too. "What the Lord joins together let no man tear asunder". It doesn't mean we are trapped forever. There is a time for everything.

 

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Thank you. I guess there was a bright side. At least some of the love that they didn't have for each other probably ended up for the kids.

Your good thoughts about things should help you a lot in your journey. I didn't think about these types of things when I was younger.