Is this normal?

Yeah I hear you....Thank god I don't have to deal with this yet. It is just around the corner though...

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His voice just changed over the summer, at first it sounded like he had a cold lol. My little boy is turning into a young man that is fast approaching being taller then me too.

Luci, I can't imagine how you feel because I haven't witnessed my kids in that situation yet. I don't have girls either, and I think I would be even more protective if I did. All you can do is talk to her, and hopefully when she gets out there some of what you said will stick. Since you can't follow them around 24/7 you can only hope that they will make the right decisions. Try your best to let her know how terrible it would be to be pregnant at 14..and how that is not the life you want for her.

Good Luck!!

 

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You can't really talk to the law, but the law only determines who is at the age of consent, not who is an adult. And the law varies quite a bit around the world. Most countries define an adult as 18, but the age of consent varies; it seems the youngest is the US' strategic partner Saudi Arabia; Wikipedia says that the age of consent is 9, with marriage. But atleast one other source seems to say it varies on custom:
http://shootingmessengers.blogspot.com/2008/06/legal-age-of-consent-in-saudi-arabia.html.

On the other side of the spectrum, it can be as high as 20 for a country like Tunisia:
http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm

Defining adulthood based on where you are geographically is simply silly.

 

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oil actually the law in victoria at least makes this match compleatly legal. beween the ages of 12(i think) and 16 as long as they are two years or less between them conentual sex is not a crime

 

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Nice, except that I know for a fact that Luci lives about 4 hours' drive from me in the UK....

 

Excellent post. I agree. and this

Giving her condoms is not encouraging her to fuck anything that moves, it's encouraging her to be SAFE.

 

i meant to say i would NEVER buy her condoms

 

My mum got some condoms for me when I was with my first serious boyfriend. Did I then go around fucking anything that was old enough to have sex? No, strangely enough for a then just 17 year old, I had a brain in my head. I know it's a strange enough concept, but young people are actually not idiots with no boundaries.

 

she's not 17 though she is 14, and i think if i got her condoms it would make it ok by me, and it is far from ok,

i have spoken with my daughter in great detail, and told her that i trust her, but o dont trust him, and she can allways come to me if he tried anything, she ahs said that sex is far from her mind and that she wants to concentrate on schooling and that haveing a baby it not what she wants from life,

and i took aside her bf, and told him that if he tried anything with her then he will be in court and the chances are we will move from blackpool, he has promised me that he will not do anything because seeing tasha is the most important thing to him at this time, also i have said that they can go out together has long has she is back by a set time, and that she has enough respect for herself that she wont do anything stupid

 

Well if she's actually said she doesn't want to have sex, I think you can rest easy.

 

A daughter who arranges things so that her parents see her boyfriend feeling her up is expecting a reaction.

Strong disapproval is not a bad reaction. And condoms, etc, to go with it is not mixing the message. The issue is not whether you can follow her around, or whether your opinions control her life, the issue is whether she takes your opinions and stances into account, and recognizes that you, at least, take the situation very seriously.

It's a courtesy issue, and a control one. She has to have enough control over the situation to keep it out of your face, and enough respect/courtesy to want to, or she's in trouble in several ways. You can help by providing motive, a brace for the spine.

 

LOL, seriously? What kid tells their parent "hell, yeah! I wanna have sex and lots of it!"

 

Very good point. And its a bit of power over the boyfriend as well. Get him worked up, but can't cuz of Mom.

Luci, what does your husband say about this? Dads have a lot of pull with daughters.

 

I'm a 16 year old boy (virgin) and I don't have time to read what everyone just said so this may have been mentioned:

I would think it is completely normal to feel this way. I would if I were you, just bring it up to her by saying something like: "Tell me a little bit about your boyfriend", even though she may have told u already it is a good conversation starter. From there just tell her your concerns, and teenagers hate it when adults candy-coat their "adult" responses.

If she really wanted to lose her virginity, as bad as this will sound, there is not much you could do to stop her. But that is besides the fact that he isn't a virgin, he can still be a completely respectable person. I would talk to him too while she is around, observe his manners and the way he talks and you will be able to tell what kind of guy he is. Don't threaten him, it will make him want to make their relationship more secret, and at this point that is not what you want.

Sorry that was kinda me rambling on but I hope I helped

 

if he gets the chance to pick between booty and keeping his word with you i reckon he'll go for the sex. also, since when is 'mum doesn't want me to' a big deterrent? i think you should realise how powerless you are to stop them doing the deed, and focus on your ability to persuade her to only do it when she's ready, and do it responsibly (by giving her the condoms and giving ur opinion, i'd say if they're still going out after 3 months)

maybe you should be secretly feeding ur daughter the pill lol.

 

thats a crimal offence codanblad.

spiking a persons food or drink for any reason is illegal, not to mention forcing someone to take medical treatment against there will is assult and battery

 

was joking.

 

hahaha very funny how about NO!!

i have trust in this boy to do the right thing, and he will be in court faster than his legs could carry him, we have spoken in detail, i have also spoken with my daughter and she has assured me that under no curcumstances is she ready for sex, and i belive her, she ahs so much to do, she has to finsih school, go to college then go onto university before she even thinks about having children, she wants to be a punishment historian and that would be difficult with a baby in tow, because no way would i look after it, i have done my bit

 

LA, is a baby the only thing your worried about?
PB and i have had sex more than 100 times easy and shes not pregant, the pill works (either that or one of us is infertile which is a rather concerning thought)

 

no obvisouly not, i dont want her catching anything like


Chlamydia

or anything like that, genital warts, etc etc,

 

LA what i ment was if your worried about the possable results of sex then informing her about safe sex is the ONLY way to do it. do you really think either of them are going to care about wether you would report him to the police if they really want to do anything?
they just wont tell you