Is being selfish wrong ?

There are sociopaths who pretend to be working on the side of society. Society itself can be sociopathic, which is pretty much suicidal.

A "society" can decide to kill and can justify the killing to itself.

 

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Only if you're a good fraud. People need other people to succeed, in almost any field, so you'd have to at least fake being nice to others, which can be hard. I've had some recent beneficial opportunities that are a product of being unselfish and nice to people. I also find it easier to motivate myself with this mindset. It seems to be easier to motivate myself to work for myself and others than simply just for myself.

In the realm of personal relations at work or wherever, I've found it pays off to be unselfish, and good natured. In other areas I don't know if it is true. It may not be personally beneficial for your life if you go to some impoverished country for charity work.

 

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Faking niceness can be difficult, and people do pick up on your actual vibe.

Also, doing all sorts of stuff just so that your CV would look more impressive tends to have negative consequences too. Not only are you stressed out and exhausted, but you also very likely didn't become an expert in anything, a Jack of all trades and master of none - neither of which is something employers would look for.

It's actually quite difficult to be selfish in a smart way, so that you don't cause trouble or disadvantage to yourself.

 

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Can you be generous without being selfish ?. I think thats like a key skill or something..

 

I have had similar thoughts. I tend to think of it like this

Some people have very poor and limited ideas about how to be selfish and these people can be dangerous to the rest of us.

But then this does assume they are like me except for not being so good at being selfish. I am not so sure about this.

 

Exactly, and it is 2x as true for me. I cannot fake a smile.

What does that have to do with being unselfish?

 

A person being selfish (or at least some of them) would try to get as many accomplishments on their CV as possible. But doing a lot of different things can mean that the person is probably not particularly competent in either - which is usually a disadvantage. In this sense, being selfish can be to a person's disadvantage.

Some people, for example in college, push themselves to be everywhere, to get on the Dean's List, to be president of several clubs and committees, and this and that - just to have an impressive CV. And they will fight fiercely for it, do away with any competition. Yet, such people are also halfhearted about those tasks and obligations, and it's the clubs and committees that suffer because of this.