Good novels about college?

Xev, perhaps, in their eyes, I could be considered normal by reading "The South Beach Diet"?

I mean really, being told that Dan Brown is awesome over and over again by self-described "book lovers" is pissing me off.

 

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Probably. Dating books are always popular too, like "he's not into you". But you might seem gay.
In my opinion, any guy who reads that idiocy is a brain-dead, pussy-whipped consumerist loser.

 

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Hah, one of my professors actually recommended Dan Brown to the class (it was a computer class).

'Oryx and Crake', has been pissing me off lately.

Stupid fucking consumerist posers. I hate them.

 

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Wasn't that published a couple years back? Never read anything besides The Handmaid's Tale.

You should read "Libido of the Postmodern" (or whatever the fuck it's called) or "A Thousand Plateaus" by Deluze and Guitarri. Then confuse people when they ask what you're reading.

 

Last I checked, most books are gay. Especially the following: anything that is written by a Frenchman, anything written by a woman or a gay man, any book with gay characters or woman protagonists, any love story (especially romance novels), any story that doesn't include violence or pornographic elements, anything written in the 19th century or earlier, poetry, any fantasy that includes elves or gnomes, dating and self-help books.

And for women, if you read many books or read books that don't fall under the listed categories, you're in dyke territory, IMO.

Unfortunately, I've read many books under these categories (my reading varies wildly), enough for me to register on most sensitive gaydar screens.

 

Excuse me, my "Busty Amazons with Swords" novels are NOT gay.
I like love stories.
Especially if there's violence.
And sex.
And violent sex.
And busty, church-burning Nordic women.

p.s:
If French authors are gay, and gay authors are gay, then gay French authors must be ubergay. Yikes Jean Genet.

 

Checking on Amazon, says its Copyrighted 2003. Its existence annoys me. Here's a snippet:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0385503857/ref=sib_fs_top/103-9315942-5059042?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S00O&checkSum=x7L9jqW%2B0SWYl6svqJzgjJ1hEyLaETTxrZfBHZAH6Ao%3D#reader-link

 

no, but those novels are more dyke than gay.

note that I left a category explicitly for, 'novels which do not include violence or pornographic elements'.

It depends. Watching "Xena, warrior princess" can be gay. Only in the case that you only watch it because you have no porn and want to jerk off to it, but thats still pathetic, or questionable. A judgment call, because the female protagonist's pornographic purpose has to be the only reason to read the book. Identifying with a female protagonist is still gay.

indeed.

 

2003 is a couple years back. 5 - 3 = a couple.

I didn't like Handmaid's Tale much for reason of that writing style. It's..annoying. Abstract.

"Watching "Xena, warrior princess" can be gay. "

It's gay to watch a skantily clad woman prance around and fight? We must be operating on some fundamentally different fucking assumptions, man. Last I knew, desiring the opposite sex is hetero.

"Identifying with a female protagonist is still gay."

Xev = female.
I identify with a lot of male protaganists, I haven't turned dyke yet.

 

Andre Breton. You know, Mad Love. Uber gay.

I read Oryx and Crake. I liked it at first, but after further review, really ended up hating it. Atwood is famous for writing one good book and a bunch of boring ones.

 

yes, indeed.

Its devoid of creativity, using gimmickery to substitute. The plot of the book is a dystopia created by genetic engineering. I see she is a Toronto author, which explains why the natives here buzz about her so much. So this probably only affects me, really.

Like I said, if you're just masturbating to it, then its cool. But there's no reason to have a fondness for it. Jerking off to Xena is frustrating. I did as a teen; it was difficult because the show was punctuated by so much inane drivel, plot-moments and idiotic jokes. And all I really wanted to see was when she took those armored plates off her boobs, that was all.

Its a very subtle difference, just bear with me here.

for a man, identifying with females is gay. For pornographic content, its usually better not to identify with female characters, but rather male ones who have their way with eager, easy, submissive females. It plays out to the male fantasy. I suppose there are exceptions.

Also dykish, are books about bloodthirsty Amazons who butcher men and burn churches.

 

It was annoying. And afterwards Hercules would come on... God, if you didn't finish in time you might catch yourself getting it on with Kevin Sorbo. But then again, that show Cleopatra 2525 came on sometimes... Good times.

 

I swear, the people in charge of that show were sadistic. Dang, I'm sure they could have made Xena's armor a little skimpier- she had huge boob plates that covered most of the cleavage. She could of at least worn a leather thong or something.

 

I see what bob is saying. The gayest guy I knew loved that movie "clueless".
And the weird thing was he like oggled the chicks in it, but it was in an exceptionally unsettling gay way.
It's strange how the act of commenting on how attractive females are can be gay, but it definately can be.

Novels about college? Did revenge of the nerds have a novel? Toga 2000? Ernest joins a fraternity?

One thing I hate about america with a passion is the college scene.
Alpha beta whatever, spring break, keggers, cheering and hollering, chumbawumba, wet t-shirt contests. Yes, I'm a straight guy, and I HATE wet t-shirt contests.

I can be disgusted by wet t-shirt contests and be straighter than that guy who thinks alicia silverstone looks hot in a mini skirt.
It's all very complicated.

 

It's impossible jerking off to xena, what were you thinking?
Desperate times call for music videos, aerobics or wild on.
Music video's are dangerous though, missy elliott can arrive at anytime without warning, be prepared.

If you're stoned it's best to watch wierd creepy shows that aren't sexy at all. Like documentaries about depressed giants.

 

-Bob-

I never got why men would try to jerk off to inane things when you can have a porn site up in three seconds.
Maybe it's the challenge.
Maybe there's some element of male bonding.
"Hey man, last night I was so desperate I jerked off to the Gerber baby"

Obviously, straight guys don't identify with the female characters in porn.
Actually - what the fuck are you on? Who identifies with characters in porn?

"Oh yeah, the shy pizza boy who ravishes older women so captures my sense of self. Him and Holden Caulfield"

The comma is unnecessary and the word-order dumb. Fag.
And there's nothing dykish about it. It's not "band together against the evil male Christians and, oh yeah, we'll throw in a few submissive male sidekicks to preserve a hetero image". It's "slit throats, then go home and be ravished by your gorgeous Viking husband"

Very hetero. I exude hetero.

It's a huge event for most eighteen year olds.
I grew up in a college town. It lost its appeal fast.

 

In the early teenage years (as I noted), we often have less access to porn. I haven't jerked off to the Gerber baby in years.

Is that so hard to imagine? Have you ever read the stories they have in porn mags? I'm not even drunk.

I have problems, with unnecessary commas, forgive me.

You also exude violence, especially now. But I never said you were a dyke, there shouldn't be a reason to get defensive. Like a shy, passive, 'metrosexual' man can be extremely 'hetero'- you perhaps accomplish the opposite task.

 

Metrosexuals, by definition, aren't shy.
Nor can they be extremely hetero. They're extremely gay but they fuck women.
That's not exuding hetero, it's exuding gay and actually being hetero.

If xev really does exude hetero, she can't be the fem equivalent of a metro.

 

Bob:

Yeah but adult men do it too.

"Let's face it, who out there hasn't had a teacher that they wanted to bang the hell out of? Hot and horny MILFS who aren't getting enough dick from their husbands and are surrounded by hot young studs all day long.
Mrs Clemens called Matt in after class because his grades were slipping.
He said the reason his grades were falling is because he was fighting will his girlfriend all the time, she was a real bitch.
When Mrs Clemens asked why he didn't just dump her he told her it was because the sex was really good and he was young and horny and didn't want to give up a steady piece of ass.
Mrs Clemens told him if sex was all there was he should dump his girlfriend and start fucking her!!
What a schoolteacher slut!!"

Sorry - what, am I supposed to feel sympathy for Mrs. Clemens?
"Oh yeah, I know just what it's like to be a hot horny milf. That passage speaks to my heart"

I don't do good with literary porn. It's really badly written and there's nothing more annoying than hearing the verb/noun "come" constantly misspelled.

Actually that was not poorly written, for porn. The first paragraph engages the reader with its query, and the run-on sentence could be fairly easily fixed. The exclamation point is overused, but not egregiously so. The characterizations are fit nicely to the purpose of the text and establish its place and genre.

Gee shucks, you mean it?

I'm not defensive, I'm simply missing your point.

I have an aggressive, masculine writing style but can be extremely hetero?

Lou:

My roomate is watching something that has this really gay looking dude yelling at a black woman about athletic wear.

 

Its a male fantasy to fuck your teacher. Thats a fantasy that appeals to men, and the men imagine they are that guy walking up to the teachers desk and fucking her.

I don't know. If you're a teacher who likes fucking your students, then maybe. But the story probably wasn't written for you. If it was, it might include a beautiful Viking warrior-girl that has sex with her Viking husband or something.

I was merely hinting that certain depictions of masculinized women, are dykish, and you disagreed.

well, you seem to admit to both these things.