Girl, 9, 'marries' in Texas

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by Orleander, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    I have no problem with this at all. It's not like they are "really" married and next comes the honeymoon sex. It was a fantasy the parents and friends put together for a sick little girl. You might prefer she have a different fantasy, but the dreams are hers to dream.
     
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  3. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    What about the boy ? Is it ethical to burden the kid with this ?
     
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  5. John99 Banned Banned

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    some serious hangups being displayed in this thread.
     
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  7. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    The article says:
    If he could get over the fact that he has a major illness and that she is going to die in a few weeks, I think he can handle play acrting the role of groom to his friend. I was the Mouse King in my elementary school's production of the Nutcracker. I was not scarred by the fact that the Nutcracker killed me, so this should be a snap for him.

    If the trauma is just that she's going to die, that would happen anyway. I doubt that the boy was seriously forced to take part against his will. If he was, that was wrong, but nothing in the article suggests he was unwilling.
     
  8. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    "He is very cute and I love him," Jayla said of the groom, Jose Griggs.

    Jose and Jayla met at Children's Medical Center and quickly formed a strong bond.

    "He knows what's going on," said Charla Griggs, Jose's mother. "He understands that she is going to a better place."


    She loves him. They are calling her the bride and him the groom. What about that is pretend?
     
  9. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

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    I thought marriage was supposed to mean something, at least that's what I was told during election time. This marriage doesn't mean anything, it's a little girl playing pretend. All weddings really are: they're just big parties anyway. So why not skip the vows and have a party? She have cake and dancing and presents and all her friends and she can throw a bouquet too. I mean are they really married? What happens if she doesn't die? Are they stuck with each other until their old enough to file for a divorce?
     
  10. Oniw17 ascetic, sage, diogenes, bum? Valued Senior Member

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    Why is this news?
     
  11. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    exactly

    :bravo:
     
  12. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    The fact that under state law it is not a marriage because she is too young to be legally married (and in Texas you need a court order to marry at an age of less than 16, even if you have parental consent). As I said, if the "groom" was pressured into it, then that is bad, but there is no evidence of that.

    Frankly even if it were a legal marriage, a marriage is a piece of paper and a concept. If I marry someone to help get them citizenship, I would not be taumatized by the idea. Consider also, that both child marriages and arranged marriages are very old concepts and were the norm for much of post-agricultural revolution history. Marriage based on romantic love is more of a 19th-century idea, as if choosing for yourself. I think that is a better system from the standpoint of personal fulfillment (though it is highly debatable), but i do not think those involved in the past were psychologically scarred by it. She's a little younger than would have been historically normal, but menstruation was the signal that it was time to get married in the olden days.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2009
  13. Pandaemoni Valued Senior Member

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    She has a few weeks left to live. There's a reason there is a "Make a Wish" Foundation and no "Piss On Your Dying Child's Parade By Being Especially Practical" Foundation.

    That said, I admit this "marriage" doesn't mean anything...EXCEPT that it means something to her. Who the fuck cares if it is a meaningful event to you and me in the face of that?
     
  14. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    I doubt they would even see it as a marriage, more just kids playing at getting married. No different to playing house where kids are mummies or daddies, really.
     
  15. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    what gives ANY of you the right to judge whats right and wrong unless you are in that situation?

    there was an episode of house on a similar issue, a very young girl who was dying of cancer and had never been kissed asked the aussie doc (cant rember his name) to kiss her.

    who cares if someone like phelps think that its a "sham weding" if it helps HER get through something that NO child that young should ever have to go through. How many of you have actually watched a terminally ill child? i have, my brother and sisters best friend in grade 1 (so 5 or 6 years old) died of lukimia and at the time i wondered what was the point of sending him to school because he would die before he ever made grade 2. I finally realised it was because THATS WHAT HE WANTED, if this is what she wanted so what? Stick all your high and mighty "moral" objections up your collective asses
     
  16. Bells Staff Member

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    They are not legally married. It was to her, a special day. And probably for the 'groom' as well since they were so close and had been through so much together in their illness.

    Do you honestly think that his marriage is legal and that if she somehow miraculously survives, that they would be considered legally bound? This basically was a mock wedding where she gets to wear the special dress and throw the bouquet. I'll admit, my initial thought was to the poor kid who was the groom. But then I thought about it for a few seconds and realised that he would grieve her loss regardless because they were so close. To him, it was a way to make those last few days she has left brighter than it would normally have been.

    Does it really matter? What? Do you think that they're going to have a honeymoon and have sex because they are "married"?

    Place yourself in her parent's position where they face the horrendous prospect of losing their beloved child in a matter of weeks. You're telling me you'd tell your child to be practical and realistic if she made such a request in her dying days? Ya, right.

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    These parents obviously want her to have whatever special moments she wants to have. She wanted to be a princess bride and have a fairytale wedding, they gave it to her. It isn't legally binding and the 'groom' is obviously someone who cares very much for her and suffered quite a bit alongside her in his illness and wanted to make her happy.

    Be thankful that there are still people in this world who care so much about others that they are willing to put aside a few hours of their time to put a smile on the face of a dying girl, even if it is a "wedding".
     
  17. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

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    What? Why is everyone mad at me? I just stated my opinion. I didn't know if the marriage was legally binding or not, because I'm a lame butt and didn't read the article. So they are just playing pretend, then why does anyone care? If no one got married it wasn't a wedding, it was just for fun, right? So it's a big party?
     
  18. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    i have to wonder why any of you would care even if they DID have sex. Its not like she would live long enough to actually give birth anyway. I mean whats an STD she could potentually get do? kill her?
     
  19. CutsieMarie89 Zen Registered Senior Member

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    Why are you so mad? mellow... mellow...
     
  20. swarm Registered Senior Member

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    It will effect him at that age just like having his good friend die. Unfortunately given the ward he is in. I doubt it is going to effect him long.

    But he will have the memory of making his friend very happy before she died.
     
  21. swarm Registered Senior Member

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    You left it completely out of your post, which is entirely misleading.

    So you are a jerk and her parents aren't. Luckily for her she has them and not you with you day late and a dollar short fake "fairytale pricess wedding."

    Kids aren't dumb. She would know you were short changing her.

    But as long as you aren't offended that's what's important.

    Afterall its only her dying wish.
     
  22. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    wow. just speechless
     
  23. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    ah, so glad you made it personal.

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