Dywyddyr-false beleifs.???

a little back story to christa's response..

she had just moved to alb (can't spell the whole city) NM with a friend of hers..
this friends of hers told her what she wanted to hear..ie "yes you can move in with me and ill help you look for a job and watch chyanne for you while you look..my husband can babysit while i drive you around to look for work,i will help you get your life together,"

of course now that she has moved in with her the story has changed..now its any excuse not to help her go and look..from the complaints that i have heard christa express, i suggested she read this thread as i think what i was trying to say applies to her situation..her friend is trying to establish her own sense of worth by telling christa what she wants to hear so christa can be a 'fan' of her friend..since she has moved in she has found out that her friend is a VERY control oriented person..she has to have everything her way otherwise it is bullsh*t..this too is a worthless issue..she think her value is dependant on her being right..to be wrong would mean she is worthless..
what i would call the 'little miss can't be wrong' syndrome..

to confront her friend about anything her friend does would make her feel worthless and hence cause problems..
this is an issue i have seen in MANY ppl..even in this forum..to tell someone they are 'wrong' is an invitation to beration..
you do not even have to use those words for a person to 'feel' wrong or worthless..

many things i have said in this thread about worthyness..the subject matter is so deep that i cannot hope to communicate every aspect of it..

to address christa's issue..how can she help her friend without making her friend feel worthless?

keeping in mind that there is a very fuzzy line between who is responsible for her friends sense of worth..christa can only do so much to avoid making her friend feel worthless..IOW how much feelings of worthlessness does her friend make herself feel? how does one help another to come to terms with ones own feelings of worth?

(fyi..not to get on a tangent..but i think this is where god can help..)

 

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I wish you had "quoted" so i woud know what you'r talkin about.!!!

 

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What determines when God will help or not.???

 

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of all that post this is the only thing you can comment on?????

 

Well, you've got to admit, that part is the most contentious....

 

and the least definitive..and just my opinion..hence the 'i think' part..but like i said..lets not use that as an excuse to get off on a tangent..and adress the problem on the rest of the post..

 

Quite correct.
And it's for this very reason, I think, that clueluss chose to comment on it...

I agree.

 

Originally Posted by NMSquirrel
(...i think this is where god can help..)

oK... i carfully read the post agan a couple of times... an to solve that prollem whare everbody can be happy i thank you'r rite aboout the need for a God... so why are you reluctent to discuss what cooud be the soluton to the prollem.???

 

eh, its ok dad.. they dont care enuff to try to understand the other part of it, and give their advice, then its no hard feelings..

 

to answer your question with a question clueless...
who is responsible for your sense of worth??
you?..we as humans have a tendancy to over/under estimate our sense of worth..
the guy next to you..again someone else would do the same thing..they would either completely devalue you or put you up on a pedastle..neither of which would be accurate..

so again i ask who is responsible for your sense of worth?
this is where i think it ties into god..god knows what we are worth..

 

oK... God is the ultimate juge... so what determines when/if God will help or not.???

 

Well i woud advise... dont try to "help you'r frind" unless you are prepared to be kicked out.!!!

 

well i never said anything about helping her out.. he did... I just wonder how in the wolrd do u deal with things lol! we are great friends and have been having a pretty good last 2 days, but she gets pretty cranky and takes it out on everyone... and on top of it all chy is in the middle of this week long attitude thing

 

I thank usin logic is the bes way to deal wit stuff.!!!

Do you know what causes her crankyness.???

Do you know whats causin her "attitude thang".???

 

well shes got a wisdom tooth comin out and its buggin her, I can kinda understand.. but there are things I dont agree with..

and lets see.. chys attitude... we just moved.. she doesnt have her grandpa anymore... cant play like she use to..

 

Yeah... everbody has ther reasons whether we know all of 'em or not... but it prolly felt good to blow off som steem about the irritatons you been putin up wit... but you wont be thar forever... focus on what you need to do to get a place of you'r own... which is gonna include puttin up wit som "Bull" in the meantime.!!!

 

now there is some good advice..

yea chy misses her papa..papa misses her too..she is 3 yrs old..and pretty smart..she knows how to play UNO..and knows how to cruise the web...
its quiet and clean over here since she moved out..

 

update..Christa moved back in with her dad

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bawl

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..chyanne

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cool

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is happy and stubborn and exactly like her mom..we moved out of a 2 bath 3 bed $800 a month double wide into a 2 bed 1 bath 65 foot single wide $165 lot rent.

christa is one day from being in between jobs (NOO!)..
still doesn't know how to clean up after herself,(and she expects chy to..)
my stuff tends to disappear..(where is my backscratcher chy?and my keys christa?)

 

for awhile there YOU lived with ME..... i will find a new stupid job soon, unless i get that really AWESOME job I want... and if I remember right, most this mess is the kids... there is a backscratcher in the kitchen under the sink.. and one in my room. and ur keys..ask the kid!!!

 

yes you have been helping more with the finances (good job) but that shouldn't be an excuse not to clean up after yourself..

YEA! Backscratcher! mmm thats the spot...

you didn't put keys back where they go..your bad..