Chuck Norris is so awesome that...

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by cato, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. cato

    cato less hate, more science

    hey everyone, post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes, or make up your own.

    those are some good ones.
    here are my chuck norris jokes:
    chuck norris once tried to snowboard, however the snow promptly turned to water after wetting itself in fear.

    the TV show quantum leap is actually the life and times of chuck norris. however, they could not use chuck as the star of the show because the last two places they tested a show that awesome were Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
     
  2. Xerxes

    Xerxes asdfghjkl

    These aren't even that funny, yet they're plastered all over the net. Why has Chuck Norris become so popular all of a sudden?
     
  3. Dunno...Zug is full of them too...
     
  4. cato

    cato less hate, more science

    its funny because they are chuck norris jokes. if they were about anybody else, they would be lame.
     
  5. mars13

    mars13 give me liberty

    chuck norris once puched a guy,the guy died and went to hell,then chuck went to hell and killed the guys soul too.
     
  6. domesticated om

    domesticated om Interplanetary homesteader

    This is a little bit off topic, but I have a question about the phrase 'ad nauseam'. My question is - are there other phrases that mean the same thing? I looked it up on the websters online thesaurus, and it spit it back out saying that it was unable to find any results.
     
  7. zenobia

    zenobia New Member

    A litte bit off topic?
     
  8. Semon

    Semon Howdy, hi and hello.

    Who is Chuck Norris? Why is he so popular?
     
  9. john smith

    john smith Tongue in cheek

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
     
  10. john smith

    john smith Tongue in cheek

    And one of my favourites;

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    :D

    Absoloutly excellent thread!! :m:
     
  11. john smith

    john smith Tongue in cheek

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
     
  12. Communist Hamster

    Communist Hamster Cricetulus griseus leninus

    Heh, old but funny.

    There is no theory of evolution, only a list of animals Chuck Norris decides not to kill.

    Chuck Norris does not go hunting, because the word 'huting' implies a probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
     
  13. cato

    cato less hate, more science

    here are some more:
     
  14. Chuck Norris invented electricity by doing a roundhouse kick so fast sparks flew off.
     
  15. Quigly

    Quigly ......................... .....

    Didn't something similiar cycle through about Mr. T from the A-Team?

    Examples:
     
  16. Dr Lou Natic

    Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon

    Chuck Norris penis was once considered a chinese delicacy, believed to give those who ate it the courage of 8 lions.
    The Chinese guys who were known to eat it got so drunk with courage that they actually went out and found 8 lions to fight.
    In every instance they won convincingly.

    The practice was outlawed to save the lion species, but it is suspected that it carries on underground due to the numerous lion carcasses which have been found with suspicious roundhouse wounds to the face.
     
  17. Quigly

    Quigly ......................... .....

    Chuck Norris was known to take his poop to 3rd world countries to treat aids. The government thought it was unsanitary, so he round house kicked them in the face.
     
  18. AmishRakeFight

    AmishRakeFight Remember, remember.

    lol These are so old!! There's also these exact same jokes floating around under the name Vin Diesel can do ect ect.

    AmishRakeFight
     
  19. Semon

    Semon Howdy, hi and hello.

    Can anyone tell me what is roundhouse kick?
     
  20. The roundhouse kick is a weapon of mass destruction in Chuck Norris' hands Or should we say feet?
     

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