Chuck Norris is so awesome that...

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by cato, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

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    hey everyone, post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes, or make up your own.

    those are some good ones.
    here are my chuck norris jokes:
    chuck norris once tried to snowboard, however the snow promptly turned to water after wetting itself in fear.

    the TV show quantum leap is actually the life and times of chuck norris. however, they could not use chuck as the star of the show because the last two places they tested a show that awesome were Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
     
  2. Xerxes asdfghjkl Valued Senior Member

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    These aren't even that funny, yet they're plastered all over the net. Why has Chuck Norris become so popular all of a sudden?
     
  3. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    Dunno...Zug is full of them too...
     
  4. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

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    its funny because they are chuck norris jokes. if they were about anybody else, they would be lame.
     
  5. mars13 give me liberty Registered Senior Member

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    chuck norris once puched a guy,the guy died and went to hell,then chuck went to hell and killed the guys soul too.
     
  6. domesticated om Interplanetary homesteader Valued Senior Member

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    This is a little bit off topic, but I have a question about the phrase 'ad nauseam'. My question is - are there other phrases that mean the same thing? I looked it up on the websters online thesaurus, and it spit it back out saying that it was unable to find any results.
     
  7. zenobia Registered Member

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    A litte bit off topic?
     
  8. Semon Howdy, hi and hello. Registered Senior Member

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    Who is Chuck Norris? Why is he so popular?
     
  9. john smith Tongue in cheek Registered Senior Member

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    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
     
  10. john smith Tongue in cheek Registered Senior Member

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    And one of my favourites;

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    :D

    Absoloutly excellent thread!! :m:
     
  11. john smith Tongue in cheek Registered Senior Member

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    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
     
  12. Communist Hamster Cricetulus griseus leninus Valued Senior Member

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    Heh, old but funny.

    There is no theory of evolution, only a list of animals Chuck Norris decides not to kill.

    Chuck Norris does not go hunting, because the word 'huting' implies a probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
     
  13. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

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    here are some more:
     
  14. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    Chuck Norris invented electricity by doing a roundhouse kick so fast sparks flew off.
     
  15. Quigly ......................... ..... Registered Senior Member

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    Didn't something similiar cycle through about Mr. T from the A-Team?

    Examples:
     
  16. Dr Lou Natic Unnecessary Surgeon Registered Senior Member

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    Chuck Norris penis was once considered a chinese delicacy, believed to give those who ate it the courage of 8 lions.
    The Chinese guys who were known to eat it got so drunk with courage that they actually went out and found 8 lions to fight.
    In every instance they won convincingly.

    The practice was outlawed to save the lion species, but it is suspected that it carries on underground due to the numerous lion carcasses which have been found with suspicious roundhouse wounds to the face.
     
  17. Quigly ......................... ..... Registered Senior Member

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    Chuck Norris was known to take his poop to 3rd world countries to treat aids. The government thought it was unsanitary, so he round house kicked them in the face.
     
  18. AmishRakeFight Remember, remember. Registered Senior Member

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    lol These are so old!! There's also these exact same jokes floating around under the name Vin Diesel can do ect ect.

    AmishRakeFight
     
  19. Semon Howdy, hi and hello. Registered Senior Member

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    Can anyone tell me what is roundhouse kick?
     
  20. spuriousmonkey Banned Banned

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    The roundhouse kick is a weapon of mass destruction in Chuck Norris' hands Or should we say feet?
     

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