No, I actually agree with him. The man is smart. When you are 80 years old, homeless and divorced, are you going to give a damn about all those fuckbuddies you had? People who over value physical relationships to the point of undervalue of long term relatiosnhips, in the end will have neither. It's really simple, if you want sex, you'll only have good sex while you are young, eventually you'll be old and useless as a sex object, then what? It will be too late to find REAL friends, it will be too late to have REAL relationships with people, you are going to end up either living alone with 50 cats, homeless, or the old guy or girl at the bar. Smart guys and girls, they learn quick what they want and then they go get it. What's going to matter when you are 40? 50? When you are 50, the only thing thats going to matter when you are old and impotent, is if you have a family or not. Are you going to spend your Xmas at your male friends house if you are a guy? What if he's not married? What are you going to do to celebrate the holidays? Go to the strip club again? What are you going to do to celebrate thanksgiving, or any of these holidays? Can you go over your guy friends house and have him cook a huge xmas dinner? Sure it happens, but wouldnt you rather spend your holidays with your female friend and her kids? Think about it, most of the time, the female actually wins the children in a divorce. The family usually ends up being a female concept, females can visit other females families just fine, but what are old men supposed to do? Once again, ladder theory only favors males who are not family oriented. If all you want out of life is good sex and temporary relationships, ladder theory is for you. If you want to grow old, be surrounded by people who care about you, and have real friends, isnt it statistically in your favor to invite men and women to join your family? Is it not in your favor, if you are a woman, to be able to give your child a Godfather? What if the real father is a jerk and you have that friend who is there for you? If you are a man, why do you need to have sex with ALL your friends? If you are afraid you'll have sex with all your female friends, talk to lesbians, they'll never have sex with you, you can talk to them just like you talk to your guy friends, you can discuss women together, and talk about sports and all the stuff you talk with guys about. Many women have gay friends, shouldnt you have a few lesbian friends? Finally, yes it's a good idea for two straight people of opposite gender to be friends. ALL long relationships start with friendship. You are not going to meet your future husband in a bar late at night. You are not going to fuck her so good that she morphs into a housewife. In the end, friendship is more valueable than any other kind of relationship between two humans. If you can reach friendship, the friendzone or whatever you want to call it, the only thing limiting you both to the friendzone is your own stupidity, and lack of interest. If you can enter the friendzone, you can enter any other zone, because there is no dogma, and therefore the laddy theory bible is complete bullshit, designed to help players and these types get laid easier by convincing decent people that they have to follow "rules". There honestly are no rules to success for relationships, there is no ultimate theory, it's simple, you should try EVERYTHING until something works, this means you should have friends, you should have friends you have sex with, friends you don't have sex with, etc, because it's ultimately a gamble no matter how you approach it. Why care what they think? If you like a woman and shes your friend, tell her you like her, if she wants to keep you in the friendzone, her loss is your gain. If you like a man, and hes a good friend, try asking him out, in fact, don't even give him the chance to friendzone you, ask him out the moment you feel like it and make him keep rejecting you over and over. Keep asking until they say yes, and keep thinking up new innovative ways to ask, if you arent BEST friends, the worst that can happen is they get annoyed and tell you to stop flirting, or stop hitting on them, or stop asking them out, big deal. In the end, you'll be able to say you gave them the option which they either accept or decline, and from your point of view it doesnt really matter because you have other friends you could ask and some will definately accept. Thats the benefit to friendship, eventually each one of them will be single and lonely just like you are now, and if you have good timing, and you ask in the right way, you'll win a partner. If you do it in the wrong way, you are likely a jerk anyway, or they are, and if neither of you are a jerk, then both of you are being stubborn trying to hold out for perfection, when in reality whats really going to happen is you both will end up with each other anyway, just 20 years later after you both divorce your first "perfect" wife or husband and figure out that there is really no thing better than friendship, in specific best friendship, in specific specific, best friends who have sex are the same as partners, and it's just a matter of knowing if you are friends, and you've had sex with them, and you become best friends, well that should be the person you marry. The best friend who has sex with you.
Their feelings. Why don't you ask a female what her perspective feels like? Ask her what it's like to be female, try to understand her, and then once you learn to understand her maybe you'll learn to understand yourself. If you have not figured it out yet, females ARE part of us males, we all come from females, we should do a better job actually understanding ourselves. You cannot learn all about females by asking your mother, sometimes you have to ask one to know one.
heh heh timetravel, im rly begining to think that you dont understand woman at all. we r not so different
Hell yes! When the only thing you have left is your memories, then they better be good! And you can look at all the young'uns with that gleam in your eyes that says "You think I'm just an old hag but you have no idea the kind of stuff I've seen and done..."
lolz is that why ur 1/2 naked in a science forum biznitch? i mean leave sum for the mystery plz. dece body though but a boob lift wouldnt kill ya.
I believe so, it may be the only thing between you and bothering to clear the asphyxiating drool on those cold lonely nights. You could of course buy a call girl and a blowup pump.
I understand women better than most. I never said women had different minds from men. Did you not read my post? Most people are jerks is what I said, if you get the drift. I also said most people are surrounded by temporary and have no permanent relationships, which means most people just jump from person to person their entire life and never have anyone who truly matters or who truly cares. If you operate in a fashion which brings temporary gain, you often sacrifice permanent gain in exchange.
Why do you want to be 80 years old, surrounded by cats, and left only with your memories? Don't you want to have some people who care about you? It's your life, if you want to be trapped in your mind at 80, so be it, but by 80 life is supposed to get better, and for some people life does get better because relationships can grow stronger over that period of time. I'm not saying don't do and see stuff, but a lot of people can do and see stuff without putting so much effort into it. Temporary relationships are not rare, they are the majority, so why put so much effort into something that is so easy to get that you get it without trying and without wanting it? Most relationships will be temporary anyway, so why actively look for them? It's better to seek what's most valueable. Do you want silver or do you want gold?
People in your life have a value, a worth, right? Quality people, those whom you care about and who care about you, have the greatest worth. Temporary people, they come and go. If you think about this like money, in order to be rich in social capital you need family, you need permanent people who you can grow old with, who care about your existance, and who love and respect you. If you surround yourself with low quality people, the result is that it lowers your social capital, and THIS lowers your quality of life because social capital is the main component/ingredient for quality of life. When you invest too much time in temporary relationships, it's like you are working with pennies instead of hundred dollar bills. You'll never get rich by just finding a new shiny penny each day, it's not going to happen. You won't get rich if you move to quarters either. You need the full $100, or $1000 bill, and if you work with bigger amounts of social capital, you'll get rich faster. Yes you can find family and social capital in the bar, if thats the best place you can find to look, it's possible even there, but it's just going to take you a lot longer. I'm sure you've seen cheers, I'm sure you've thought about being a bar tender, and from that position you can form real friendships, but it's harder, because the quality of people in that environment is often lower than anywhere else. Don't you want people around you whom you can trust? Don't you want to surround yourself with people who care about you? Do you really want to be an old woman and find out that you have no one in your life who gives a shit about you, and everyone simply used you for sex, or whatever? If this is what you want out of life, I feel sorry for you, I think you could do better than this.
I actually was a bartender, in college. I don't see what this whole post has to do with anything. Yes, it's better to have lots of social capital than less. Congratulations, that is a very profound statement. It's also better to be handsome, healthy and rich than being ugly, poor and have lung concer. Andthe sky is often blue.
Exactly, you WERE a bartender. Don't you wonder how I knew you were? Sure it's good to be healthy, but thats because it all comes down to quality of life. If you are rich in social capital wont need as much money to be happy. Often people who are poor are happier than people who are rich. Often people who arent handsome, are happier than people who are. I've seen old couples married for over 50 years, poor, unhealthy, and practically dying, and they were living in their best years, happier than ever. I think that situation is special, and rare, special enough that it's more valueable than the simple life. Sure, living fast and simple, it does work while you are young, and it works for some. It's not for me, if I wanted that, I could have it. I just find that it's empty. I feel empty enough already, I don't need to make the cup a quarter empty from half full.
