Being Direct

Ah, Nihilism. It used to be my watch word too. Now it seems more an old jacket one puts on and then takes off again because it doesn't quite fit anymore, but still keeps because it's the best jacket one ever had.
 
Wolf:
Ah, Nihilism. It used to be my watch word too. Now it seems more an old jacket one puts on and then takes off again because it doesn't quite fit anymore, but still keeps because it's the best jacket one ever had.
Yes, but on some it keeps them nice and warm in senility.
They at least get to sneer at the world comfortably.
Think Bazarov.
Schopenhaeur.
Weininger.

Dreamer:
And as a matter of fact, I think that some of the behaviour displayed here is just fucking stupid;
Uh-huh.

And why are you here?
 
"They at least get to sneer at the world comfortably."
Precisely. Not to mention wearing it out where they can be seen to be comfortable wearing it.

Weininger... I'll have to look that one up.
 
RosaMagika said:
Speak your mind, or forever be quiet. Make things interesting then. Dead mice aren't exactly entertaining, you know.
I thought that's what I was doing.

Very briefly, 2 kinds of passion have been addressed earlier in this thread. Maybe you can make comments on that?
I assume you refer to:
But I'm starting to think that there are more kinds of passion. One is such that indeed turns the passionate into cinder. The other one ... is something of a much nobler kind.
My post was thinking aloud about exactly that. The side that goes nowhere fast (burns to a cinder and fades away) vs. the side that goes somewhere slowly (a flame somehow kept alive).

Calling it "rhetoric" is a a cop-out used by those who don't understand communication well. Think of this "rhetoric" as *trying out the field*, *sending probes into unknown territory* -- and it immediately makes sense.
Start from the abstract, work my way to the specific. Check.

Of course, some people don't care for looking first whereto they are about to step ...
Passionate fools.

If the man himself thinks of his behaviour as disrespectful -- why does he do it then? Because he hates the woman? Women in general? Himself? Because he simply lacks all tact?
If you know that you are being disrespectful, then you should ask yourself *why* you are doing it?
Because he has a twisted idea of a woman's expectation of "passion". Many men have the romanticized passion in mind when trying to appeal to womankind - who insists on passionate, i.e. not boring, men. Hence where they wouldn normally think of approaching a woman "as himself", for the sake of being succesful he throws all caution to the wind, and with that goes his mundane, everyday personality. He might succeed, but can the woman trust him after that?

It all depends on whether the two believe in "true love" or not. This has a vast series of implications. If they do believe in "true love", they will most likely be somewhat slow and careful, feel out the terrain first -- and not go on the first ball.
"True love" does not just miracolously happen. The two each have to believe that there is something like "true love", and they also have to find out whether they are compatible or not. This, however, takes some time.
And that leaves the direct approach far behind. At least in the 'pick her up at the bar' sense. Have we changed the context since then? But it shouldn't leave passion behind. My question still stands: what should the initial level of commitment be, especially if it's to be true love?

Ah, if people really knew what they want, life would be simple.
True love knows what it wants. I'm representing that corner.

Watch Speed 1 -- what does Sandra Bullock say to Keanu Reeves when the subway crashes out into the street, and they are in the wrecks of it?
Relationships that form under traumatic conditions never work out. Something to that effect. It's because the conditions are unnatural, and you'll have to spend most of the relationship under natural conditions. Events sometimes force people together (maybe nature favours the direct approach), but a flame that burns brightly in an oxygen-rich environment might lose its intensity in a normal earth atmosphere. That's why I favour passion that can survive on more than candlelit dinners - let's call it resilient passion.

It does not exists just so per se. Humans are feeding it, raising it, taking care of it -- or denying it, killing it, painting it with some other, *safer* colours ...
Taming it?
 
As for boredom: Henry James, in the novel "The portrait of a lady" wrote this:


You've no excuse for being bored anywhere.


That's my mantra.
 
well thats a pile of crap (in most cases)
of course its easily refutable, even if i used that 'box with white walls and no doors youd get bored then' thing, cause then people say this:
*kev voice* id think how to get out UUUUUUURHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHH *kev voice stops*
 
Logically Unsound said:
well thats a pile of crap (in most cases)
of course its easily refutable, even if i used that 'box with white walls and no doors youd get bored then' thing, cause then people say this:
*kev voice* id think how to get out UUUUUUURHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHH *kev voice stops*

In which case, you need to climb up on that pile of crap -- see what panoramic view you'll get from there ...
 
what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
(im in a bad mood today)
thats just extending a metaphor for no good fucking reason to make yourself feel better that your capable of doing so.
 
As for boredom: Henry James, in the novel "The portrait of a lady" wrote this:

You've no excuse for being bored anywhere.
I found that rather ironic, since big parts of the book were quite boring!
 
gendanken said:
Jaded
Jaded? Ohhh... pwetty word. I'm a two year old... I'm whatever you say I am. Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo...
Where did I leave my dollies?
Flowers... pwetty flowers... flowers and dollies.
Yep. Whatever you say, dear... I'll listen to you. Un hun. Right-O.
 
Jenyar,

I found that rather ironic, since big parts of the book were quite boring!

Why ironic? Maybe the book was boring to you, but that doesn't make the book boring as such.
 
Last edited:
Jenyar,


My question still stands: what should the initial level of commitment be, especially if it's to be true love?

It's so simple that people often refuse to see it.

Nowadays, sex is a thing that goes without saying. Yet think: What if she gets pregnant before you two have figured out whether this is to be the real thing or not? What will you do?

Keep the child and stay together -- because of the child?
Keep the child and not stay together?
Have an abortion and stay together?
Have an abortion and break up?

The fact that sex is regarded as a must, as a thing that goes without saying shows how reckless and choosy we are with our instincts and our bodies. We act as if having sex and making babies are to be two completely separate things.
As if we are entitled to have sex without getting pregnant.

And here's the beastiness of the modern woman: Contraceptives are not something one could really depend on. So before she has sex, she decides that if she gets pregnant, she'll have an abortion.

Now this makes her a beast: she is following her reproductive instinct and has sex, but at the same time she has scheduled to annull the natural outcome of this instinct.
It is nowadays regarded as normal for women to do that. Those who have problems accepting this "normalcy" are regarded as "frigid".

But it is *not* normal in the eyes of nature and natural instincts -- this is why women turn out to be such beasts.

And this is why so many relationships don't work out. People think they can really trick their bodies and their instincts. For a woman, being prepared to sacrifice your body like that and go against your instincts demands a lot of denial, and this makes the woman very insensitive and edgy, a beast.
Nobody wants to be with a beast -- but at the same time the modern condition to have a relationship makes the woman to become a beast.


To answer your question: In an ideal case, I think both should first know what they want out of the relationship and have compatible views on having children. And have sex only *after* they have figured out whether what they have is the real thing or not.

But it is modern to be irresponsible, choosy and reckless when it comes to instincts and bodies ... but then one shouldn't be surprised if things *don't* work out.
 
Jaded:
Jaded? Ohhh... pwetty word. I'm a two year old... I'm whatever you say I am. Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo Goo...
Where did I leave my dollies?
Flowers... pwetty flowers... flowers and dollies.
Yep. Whatever you say, dear... I'll listen to you. Un hun. Right-O.
How's this for a pweety, pwetty word:

AvrilLavignefuckingwannabe.

Rosa:
Now this makes her a beast: she is following her reproductive instinct and has sex, but at the same time she has scheduled to annull the natural outcome of this instinct.
It is nowadays regarded as normal for women to do that. Those who have problems accepting this "normalcy" are regarded as "frigid".
Are you not mistaking frigid for whore?

But it is *not* normal in the eyes of nature and natural instincts -- this is why women turn out to be such beasts.
Then explain the bonobo who's sexual intimacies rival ours in uselessness.
Explain the oranguntan masturbating with a tool she just made.
Explain the chimpanzee performing fellatio and cunnilingus on his partner.
Or the canine trying to hump one's leg.

Explain to me "Biologial Exhuberance"

Sex is a stimulant- its got its purpose but why frown on it, when used properly, by those using it for pleasure?
While not advocating abortion since I rally to no cause, a woman does have a right to her body.
As do men.

And this is why so many relationships don't work out. People think they can really trick their bodies and their instincts.
Civilzation, morality, goodness- all these exist as soon as humans "trick" their bodies.
 
Gendanken,

Then explain the bonobo who's sexual intimacies rival ours in uselessness.
Explain the oranguntan masturbating with a tool she just made.
Explain the chimpanzee performing fellatio and cunnilingus on his partner.
Or the canine trying to hump one's leg.

Explain to me "Biologial Exhuberance"

I think that alongside of developing intelligence (in the sense of using tools or elaborate hunting techniques) reproductive instincts (and possibly those of feeding too) and/or the activities that come along with them somehow had to make up for a balance. It seems that the more intelligent the species, the more degenerated (degenerated in the sense of: not being used strictly for reproductive matters) the reproductive instincts.
I can imagine that dolphins and orcas also pursue sexual activities that are not directly about reproduction.


While not advocating abortion since I rally to no cause, a woman does have a right to her body.

The difference between a human female and a bonobo female is that the bonobo is fertile once a year, while the human 12 times.
Explain this then.
Also, do bonobos, chimpanzees etc. have abortions?


As do men.

What are you trying to say? That they are entitled to have sex, and that women are supposed to give it to them?


Civilzation, morality, goodness- all these exist as soon as humans "trick" their bodies.

But take primitive cultures. There, instincts are rationalized in a religious way, and they are sacred and tabooed. True, they "trick their bodies", but it seems to be in a healther way than in Western culture.
While in Western culture, instincts are rationalized in a secular way, degraded and most of all, we are extremely choosy about them.
We like to eat sweets, but we don't want cavities (so medicine figures out a way to fix the problem).

The thing is that just because we can do something, doesn't mean that it is okay to do it. It seems that Westerners have greatly lost the sense of this balance.
-- Look at how many people are obese, smoke, are alcoholics, do drugs ...
 
gendanken said:
AvrilLavignefuckingwannabe.

How about this one; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *pause for breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAIamnotHAHAHAHAHA?

Wait, or this one;

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yeah! Exactally! AVRIL WANNABE! My dream since I was 3 is to be a wannabe blonde, wannabe guitar player in a wannabe punk rock band with wannabe songs and wannabe fans who dress just like me! EXACTALLY! I mean; I've always wanted to dress up in pink and leather, rub coal round my eyes, sound like a cat being stepped on when I sing and ABOVE ALL make amazingly pathetic rhymes like; get outta my head that's what I said, lalala... upset... make me go Oh Oh (I appologize if the lyrics are wrong, I try my best to not hear her bloody songs).

YOU'VE hit the nail on the head! An AVRIL WANNABE!!! MY LIFE'S DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!
 
Dreamwalker said:
Yeah, most women don´t like it (says one who tried it sometimes)

The question is though: Did it ever work?

I've heard 1 in 10 are receptive.

*shrug*

I just don't have the stomach for the 9 rejections. :)
 
Hmm, it works on some (when they are drunk).

But I suppose there are better ways. Never done statistics on this theme. :D
 
Rosa:
The difference between a human female and a bonobo female is that the bonobo is fertile once a year, while the human 12 times.
Explain this then.
Pardon, but you've picked the wrong primate:

"Bonobos are highly "promiscuous", often engaging in sexual behaviors outside of that for reproduction. This is thought to be one of the main reasons that bonobos are so infrequently aggresive as the sexual interactions reduces tensions. Mating postures include face to face and dorsoventral as well as others. There is also a large occurence of female-female genital (G-G) rubbing throught the age groups, again including face-to-face positions. The only aparent sexual "taboo" being mothers mating with their mature sons."

That said, the use of 'normal' is not only highly subjective, it limits discussion.
Broken record: a 12 year old boy learning to lick your clit dry with his tounge is degenerate to you, but its the perfect norm for a Mangaian boy.

http://www.bigeye.com/sexeducation/mangaia.html

What are you trying to say? That they are entitled to have sex, and that women are supposed to give it to them?
No, that he is as entitled to fuck her as she is entitled to fuck him or fuck off.

But take primitive cultures. There, instincts are rationalized in a religious way, and they are sacred and tabooed. True, they "trick their bodies", but it seems to be in a healther way than in Western culture.
While in Western culture, instincts are rationalized in a secular way, degraded and most of all, we are extremely choosy about them.
We like to eat sweets, but we don't want cavities (so medicine figures out a way to fix the problem).

The thing is that just because we can do something, doesn't mean that it is okay to do it. It seems that Westerners have greatly lost the sense of this balance.
-- Look at how many people are obese, smoke, are alcoholics, do drugs ...
Well, you speak as if half the Western world is "degenerate."

On every corner a Baptist, and the 700 Club is blasting across the whole Southeast America.
In his creature comforts, mingled with variants of culture shock, the conservative recoils furhter back in his shell and what he clings on to *is* religion.
The American has his las vegas as he does his church, and the San tribesman has his cannabis and his rituals. Same thing.

We're having revivals here on Wednesday, and you're all invited.




Jadedflower:

SHOO.
 
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