After reading some threads I got to wondering what exactly is it that the scipeople find attractive and lest attractive in a mate/partner/potential partner? When you have to think about why your other half is with you, what comes to mind? Is it because of the sex, security, financial reasons? Why? Why do you find most attractive about the one you are with, or the one you are attracted to? Would you consider yourself one who is independent in relationships, or codependent? How did you go about finding your partner? Did you use friends, internet, or the old fashion way of just running into them?
Christa, I'm sure people will notice you assume that people have partners, obviously not everyone here is going to be in a relationship and this isn't always down to luck or choice. This means that some will answer not with an actual answer that has effected them and a partner, but just what they would assume would effect them if they were in such a situation. Unfortunately assumptions and reality are two different things, so don't read into anything too heavily. As for your questions, I truthfully couldn't answer I'm too recluse to be in a relationship. (Damn games consoles! *waves fist*)
I in youth was initially attracted to shapely girls with a not too beautiful face, but certainly not an ugly face. Quite a few qualified, but then in most cases they seemed to be products of the American materialistic culture and not as concerned with things that mattered to me, so I moved on to someone else. I got deeply involved in the civil right movement and frequented a couple of folk dance groups as young ladies there were less likely to be "typically American" and were more interesting to me. Eventually I married a Norwegian but made the mistake of bringing her to America, instead of living there. In a couple of decades she was more "Amercanized" than than any native born. We had to have a big house, new cars, etc. Eventually I could not take it any more so we separated but did not divorce for years so she, the mother of my two daughters, could keep medical coverage under my employer's low cost plan. After a series of physical unions with generally interesting ladies, I found my sole mate by chance during a solo vacation in Mexico. - A beautiful Brazilian Ph.D. college professor, concerned with same things I was, - I.e. as beautiful "on the inside" as in outer appearance. We only knew each other two days and talked most of the night between until her tour group moved on the next day. Then after letters and ~4 visits each (of her to me in USA and me to her in Brazil), I sold everything I owned in USA and went to live with her, in her apartment in Sao Paulo - that was 19 years ago - best move I ever made.
What I find attractive? I find brains attractive... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! (That's a pic of me before my caffeine, btw. I'm just looking a bit annoyed because I didn't get to fix my hair...you know how candid snapshots are...)
Compatibility. It would be very hard for a "normal" woman to keep up with me. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
trust more than anything. god. no. that's not enough. he's kind and loving and strong and brave, but i think it's the understanding and trust between us that makes him so attractive to me. neither. we both consider ourselves to be "active participants". i met him here on sciforums, but i've met a lot of people over the years on sciforums and never married any of them. i consider it fate. we both know that god brought us together, and that perception gives us strength and security and it empowers us to be great mates. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Physically or emotionally? I go for someone similar to myself with regards to morals, mildly like me with beliefs and interests so we have some differences and some similarities but nothing that would tear us apart - and a personality that doesn't include lying, cheating and being an ass. I don't know about co-dependent being the right word, but the whole point of relationships is to share a life with someone, so to a degree they should always be co-dependent in some ways. As far as looks go I have some preferences(of course), but most people don't meet them, so long as I find them attractive it will work. Only one or two deal breakers in that department, most people easily fall down on personality.
I'm not overly picky.... But, if she doesn't have a pulse, I usually look elsewhere...Usually.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
That is rather picky. OTOH I went into my local one night and the barmaid asked what was up because I looked a bit down*. "Oh, I just got dumped by my imaginary girlfriend", I said, "I'm not too bothered though, because she was really ugly AND seeing other guys behind my back". * What's UP, you look DOWN? How bloody stupid is English?
