# Are you for or against spanking kids ?.

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by mike47, Aug 15, 2009.

1. ### OrleanderOH JOY!!!!Valued Senior Member

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I agree. But now I have to admit to being a big time thief.

3. ### James RJust this guy, you know?Staff Member

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Assault, as defined in law, is putting somebody in fear of being physically harmed. For example, if you raise your fist as it to strike somebody, so that they are afraid you will hit them, then you have committed a criminal assault and can theoretically be prosecuted. Battery is when you actually carry through your assault and make contact with the other person. A battery can be a full punch or just a slap. Obviously, if you commit battery you can be convicted of assault and battery.

Now, assault and battery are illegal when you do them to adults. The question to ask, therefore, is why on earth some people think that committing assault and battery on their child is just fine and dandy.

Moreover, what battering a child teaches them is that it is ok to be a bully and pick on people who are weaker than you are. It does not teach them to respect you, though it might teach them to fear you.

5. ### lucifers angelsame shit, differant day!!Registered Senior Member

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They can take the things off the kids if they are being naughty, not doing has they are told, or whatever, that way the kids should learn,

I am 50/50 on this debate because i was spanked a lot while i was a child, and it made me go wild, i broke the law, i did all sorts of stupid things, so we have to think is it going to have that effect on the children aswell?

However if a child is constantly putting they're fingers into the fire then i dont see anything wrong with tapping the kids fingers, i have had to slap my sons, (not my daughter though) and now they know that they need to do waht they are told and not to argue back, i dont agree though to getting a belt to a child, i dont think that does any good,

but grounding some children just doesnt work, disipline needs to be stricter at schools aswell as the home, whats the point in suspending a child from school for a week, because that child is just going to think of it has an holiday.

My son was suspended from school a couple of years ago, (for doing somthing really stupid) for a week, and he was made to work in the house and learn by his mistakes

7. ### mike47BannedBanned

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My concern is about out of control kids .
Do you not think that a bit of fear is good for them ?. And if not then what do you offer to solve the problem of kids who are rude, bullies, disrespectful, lazy, hating schools, taking commands from no one.....and you got the ugly picture....?.
There must be a solution .
If you wait until they get old enough to get charged and go to jail then jail will screw up their lives more because they will meet all sorts of kids there .

8. ### (Q)Encephaloid MartiniValued Senior Member

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Have a look at the parents first. How did they become out of control?

Don't you theists pound enough fear into your children's heads from your cults? You want more fear?

Again, look at their parents for answers to those questions.

Beating them isn't a solution, it's a cause to more problems.

So, you appear to believe that beating people will get them to fly straight. Beating them WILL set the path to jail. Will you ever get that through your thick skull?

9. ### (Q)Encephaloid MartiniValued Senior Member

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With or without kids, you're a menace and shouldn't have kids.

Generally beating kids as opposed to taking it personally?

The parents are most likely the ones at fault.

Yes, it depends on the way they are raised by their parents. Do you get that yet?

10. ### yasminRegistered Member

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That was the way I was raised too. I have not been spanked much though. My mother had complete mental control of us. When we misbehaved she would make us be aware of the harm. For instance; if we were torturing an animal like pocking a frog with a stick, she would take the stick and pocke us with it asking: How do you like it? Does it hurt? Don't you see you are hurting this animal?

Or when we were having a temper tantrum she would say: don't you see you are bothering people with the noise? She would make us think and reason.

Still, I have one brother whom she spoiled when he was little because he was the first boy, he then became a tirant and embarrased her in public never getting the message. He got spanked a lot but he never became disciplined and even to this day he resents my mother for that extra spanking.

The thing is, you must be consistent. You must not make empty threats. Two year olds have few privileges you can take away, but you must discipline them somehow. Because if you can't control your child at age 2, what's going to happen when he's 16? Spank when they're young. Take away privileges when older. If you don't have the stomach for spanking, find something that works (as Bells did).[/QUOTE]

11. ### CutsieMarie89ZenRegistered Senior Member

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Your kids need to fear you. If they don't fear you, they don't have any reason to listen to you or do what you say. Fear has proven to be an excellent motivator, from toddlers to teens to adults. Kids who don't fear their parents run amuck. And they the threat of calling their parents and informing them of their child's bad behavior isn't a threat. I know this from years of personal experience with kids who don't fear their parents. They run the show while their parents beg and plead with them. It's just sad and pathetic to watch. Parents don't have to spank, but their child needs to be afraid of what their parent will do to them if they misbehave. So they'll think twice before doing it and threatening to call their parents makes them stop.

12. ### OrleanderOH JOY!!!!Valued Senior Member

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No, I never ever want my kids to fear me. I want them to fear the consequences, but not me.

13. ### CutsieMarie89ZenRegistered Senior Member

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You're the authority attached to those consequences, that's what I meant.
When I tell kids I'm going to call their parents if they don't stop acting crazy, I much prefer it when they say "Don't tell, I'll stop" than when they shrug and say "whatever".

14. ### John99BannedBanned

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i remeber those days. my mom would chase me around a table, i knew that if i can run around in a circle she could never catch me because i knew that once i was cornered it was all over. i had four brothers and we would all root for eachother.

once the running started we would chant 'go...go...go...go'

15. ### (Q)Encephaloid MartiniValued Senior Member

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Years of personal experience? HA! You're so fucking far off the mark with your post, it's distance is in light years. Agreed, sad and pathetic post.

16. ### CutsieMarie89ZenRegistered Senior Member

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We would have gotten in so much trouble for doing that. We weren't allowed to laugh, cheer, or add our two cents. My mother even got mad at me for cheering when she was punishing the dogs.

17. ### CutsieMarie89ZenRegistered Senior Member

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Yes, years. I've professionally worked with children for 6 years now and volunteered at the local recreation center for 4 years before that. Would you like to see my resume? What mark are you talking about?

18. ### S.A.M.uniquely dreadfulValued Senior Member

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That is so fricking awful.

19. ### iceauraValued Senior Member

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You might want to check into which of the kids - the ones who fear their parents, or the ones who despise them (I believe that's the choice you offer) - are most likely to have been spanked often and severely at home. Do a stat analysis, not a compilation of memories of anecdotes.

The parents you see arguing and pleading with children would be no better off hitting them. And the kids you see shrugging - a lot of them get hit, at home, quite often.

There are different kinds of "fear". My own parents never once hit any of their eight children, but the threat of them being told of misbehavior was very effective - my parents simply told us that if they had failed at teaching us how to mind ourselves at school or wherever, one of them would have to come along and help mind us. And we knew they would.

There was also the fear of disappointing my parents - letting them down. We all felt it.

The jails are full of people who were spanked, hard and often, in their childhoods. And almost every one of them, except the most reflective, will tell you it didn't do them any harm.

20. ### breezeRegistered Member

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Oh, yes. I felt that kind of fear. In fact I was so afraid of my parents I never told them when I got into trouble, no matter was it accidentally or because of my behaviour. I dont want my kids feel this way, I want them to know that whatever they do they can always come to me and ask for help and we can find the way out together. Dont want my daughter to have an illegal abortion because shea afraid of telling me shes pregnant. Dont want my kids be abused because they are afraid of telling me about it. Dont want my kids to drop out their classes because the are afraid of telling me about their bad grades.

21. ### Diode-ManAwesome User TitleRegistered Senior Member

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Depending upon how well the child is able to listen, and also depending upon the severity of the particular broken rule.

Even then I wouldn't spank REALLY hard. I can remember such an occasion when I was young, and I have no idea what the punishment was for, only that it was painful...

22. ### James RJust this guy, you know?Staff Member

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Your kids need to respect you. Putting fear into them is not the best way to earn their respect. They need to learn that you have their best interests at heart, that you care about them and that your restrictions on them are ultimately for their own benefit.

Instead of battering them, you might consider temporarily removing some of the fun things they like doing. i.e. take away a favorite toy for a while, or "ground" them. There are many things you can do that will be more constructive than physically beating them.

We agree in part. They need to know that there will be consequences if they misbehave. Parents need to set clear boundaries for their children. Where we disagree is on the requirement for corporal punishment in order to establish those boundaries.

23. ### CarcanoValued Senior Member

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Ultimately, if your children dont love you...they wont want to please you.