03-28-06, 05:36 PM #861
In my garden of life,
I’ve seen this beautiful flower,
as black as the night itself.
Its scent of pure hate
Bleeds through every pore.
Blind child of the ground,
Upon which it dwells.
Its roots are firm,
Its petals can’t be trimmed,
And often it has left my skin
A bloodless graze.
Often it has sensed my fear,
As my veins grew black.
Darker than the ground,
On which it is raised.
The darkness creeps fast,
up to my eyes,
Until all I see is the flower
and the fear.
The fear it loves,
The fear it needs,
The hate it makes,
The scent of which it bleeds.
I’ve grown to fear the flower,
As its grown to love the fear.
I’ve learned to run away from it’s scent,
but is a flower too beautiful,
and flower forever near.
A flower so black,
In my garden of life.
03-28-06, 06:01 PM #862
I got poems. I can't promise quality, but you might be surprised. Instead of pasting the text, I'll link.
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/30714653/">The Soft Grass ist am Besten</A> — This is macaronic verse, combining English with German.
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/30572297/">In Pen</A>
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/30476350/">Scrumptious Cakes Kill</A>
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/28747885/">Rhythm of Experience</A>
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24642376/">Feeble</A> — Just guess what this is about.
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24429990/">It's So Hard</A>
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24149556/">Asinine Society</A>
<A HREF="http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/22759139/">My Sleepy Plea</A> — This is one of my personal favorites.
04-08-06, 03:41 PM #863
My Wrestless soul is longing
Thousands Of Things I want to say to you every second My breath hit's the chilled Air air..... Never Does a sound find it's Way from my Throat..... I attempt and Fail Just to Fail and attempt again..... You Have always done this to me. Why?. oh.... the Answered is simple I'm Afraid.... it is because.... It is who you are.... I knew and know this I always have.... But why Does your Anger have such a strong hold on My Curiosity? Why Does My Heart bleed a rainbow of Tears and Emotion When I think Of you? I Despise being "Labeled" as such a wretched piece and number.... Unfortunately, Im afraid It is all too true.
Today... I feel Like Dying... There is no Reason Behind it's Why.... It's as if My Emotions are Being tagged along in another's game. The Unused portions flow into the Grate of Self Delusion, the emotion Trickles Down on me........ That is all I am Fed. An Empty Emotion For a pointless thought... My Sense's Deceive my Reality. I find Myself Untrustworthy..... and yet each and every time there you are..... I wonder if you mock me. I wonder if you think it is a fun little game that a defeated and Tired Lioness bows in shame and Forgiveness for the harsh words where wisdom held no place. Solitude would be fine If I could get out and away from my Self long enough to be able to achieve just one thing... One, Small Insignificant thing...... And Yet Here I am.... there is nothing left to rip Teare apart... I have done this so many times that ashes of Memory Lay about my wounded cell like a plush 1970's Carpet.... I kick them up high wondering if it were possible to remember or recognize why I tore such a thing apart. But Ashes they are. And ashes do not speak.... This I know for I have held Many a conversation with them.
I am Taunted, Haunted and Daunted by my own Submissions. Like a made women raising from the Core of a placebo of Darkness into an Abyss of empty thoughts.
I Cry here, yet I wait here for you. Strange I find my self on this Metaphorical bench. Waiting in a park that exists only inside of me. Waiting for you. You never come. how could you not come... . And More, How is it possible for you to mock me so yet there you are not..... it is all silence.... a match would wither in moist fear before it had half the chance to light here.... This is where I am... and I wait... I wait and Cry ..... I get angry... I laugh in Madness.... I cower in fear... I panic with out the strength to Run.... but still, You never come. I Know not a way from this place.... What I know is who brought me here.... I could hate or Love you for this safety or solitude....... One isn't supposed to birth from emptiness'..... Look at me... Here I am... Like the air you do not see me do you... I know I can not see you.. but Feel you.... I Feel you in every stretch of my existence. A Simple emotion that stretches farther then any Galaxy.... I am In Your Womb of Confusion? Hatred? Anguish? I can not tell any more.... And should this place be in your metaphorical womb, then would you be a good mother? Would you recognize My innocence? Would you help me to grow? .... This I can not know. I never know. I just wait..... I wait in the Vat of emotion... the Cage of Feeling and the Park of Emptiness'.....
I want to be Free... But Would I break the Chrysalis to soon and wither in the Cold dry air never able to Free my wings to glance the Color? Or is it Now that I AM to emerge and spread my Wings in Flight? the Confusion is as empty and lonely as the place of Solitude and Security I hold in my mind. For a moment I feel I can Remember something Important... but.. It Fails me and falls into the "feeling" of a Memory.... I do not wish to be one any longer..... I need to hold to things that Birth Greatness... things that never Send me on a Wicked running of some twisted gauntlet.... Just to fail. This is all the things I Feel that sleep in the Unknowing....... It is no wonder we are afraid of it. Yet we embrace it with Heart and despair..... And then Give it a nice little name... Manic Depression....
So I look for you still... This being who is out there some where made up in my land of make believe.... the imaginary you that has such a pull on me. The one who sits on the Pedestal of Ash..... but only in essence.... Could this be the other side of me? The Piece I need to finish some Dramatic puzzle that would Make an Answere out of Philosophy?
Every time I feel it is "right" and Real... you Leave me Behind...... you run..... I'm not sure if I am being pitied or perhaps used? very similar the two when Placed in such a situation... I want Questions to all the answers I have.... I want to be Met on the other side of this.
04-10-06, 03:09 AM #864
04-11-06, 04:50 AM #865
There was a time when I was so free,
I used to laugh, run, jump and be me.
I never thought too far in those days,
I saw the sun, so bright, and felt its rays.
There was always an arm to comfort me,
A soft warm bed, and a shielding sea.
I grew, I absorbed, and saw a little more,
I fell, bumped my head, ‘twas a little bit sore.
At that time, I knew of no other way,
I got up, rubbed my head, and continued to play.
It was simple, straightforward, easy to do,
An infinite universe of such glorious hue.
Came a time, must have been but ten years later,
Every day it felt like my head was in a grater.
And my eyes when looking up at the sun,
Saw very little, it was dark, and I wanted to run.
Soon after, I tripped, rolled over and fell,
Tumbling, crumbling, deep into a dark well.
Lying cold at the bottom in a puddle of slime,
I looked up, far above, saw the sun did not shine.
My head, was contained in a vice so tight,
To feel, to see, was a battle of might.
How can I ever escape this deep black shaft?
I am cold, I am hungry, and the end did laugh.
It’s so far to the top, I will need a long rope,
If ever I am to glean some glimmer of hope.
Then I saw, near my nose, a tiny thing move,
Not alone anymore, and a rustling so smooth.
It came into focus, this brave little thing,
A sweet little bug, and it started to sing.
“The world in the well, is better for me,
I am strange, I am special, I know I am free”
The light for others, like moths you see,
Is the end, it just burns, and ultimately.”
“Who said, who decided, what is up or down?
What is floating to me, for you is to drown.
So you see, poor soul, lying deep in my well,
Turn your world upside down, you never can tell.”
Surprised and delighted I started to feel,
If a bug can sing, then perhaps I can heal.
Again I looked up, and saw in soft light,
A ladder running up the well to my right.
Soft pain on my face, a twisting in time,
Felt good, I knew why, and started to climb.
The shadows as I rose, faded back in a while
And that curling of lip was the birth of a smile.
Last edited by stretched; 04-11-06 at 07:43 AM.
04-16-06, 09:37 PM #866
I just came up with the most awesome poem and figured I'd present it here as my gift to the world.
Head in a Jar
Head in a jar. Head in a jar.
I want to be a head in a jar.
Can I stand in line to be a head in a jar?
Will I get a lot of pussy being a head in a jar?
Who'll drive my car when I'm a head in a jar?
Will I get very far as a head in a jar?
I don't know and no one can say.
But I really want to be a head in a jar.....
04-17-06, 01:35 AM #867
I'll tell you what you get when you're a head inside a jar,
you can travel anywhere without going very far.
You can get the sleep you're s'posed to make up when you're dead
'cause nobody expects much, with that jar around your head.
You can be a hero, a hero, tried "untrue"
and, although no one else is in there, it will be "for real" to you.
Forget about the old game, of "he said, and she said",
'cause every word is just inside that jar around your head.
I'll tell you what it takes to put your head inside a jar
a lot more than an airplane or a new sports car.
It will be expensive, so start saving up your bread
it'll cost a billion dollars to put that jar around your head.
04-17-06, 12:15 PM #868Originally Posted by stretched
04-17-06, 12:41 PM #869
"You know who You Are"
You've Excited my Heart, in rushes and Torrents.
Something I thought dormant, lost to the currents.
Oh to feel the pleasures I perceive in your words.
Echoing on the wind at the end of the wings bird.
So hold me some how, in this mystical place.
Even though in science, it's an impossible grace.
But touch me again, through out all frequencies,
and Know I will be waiting on bending knees.
The Leash I left collared tightens my throat,
My Dress and my knees a mess from this muddy mote.
It keeps me bound, But I do not despair.
I want you back, to caress my hair.
My lips they are dry, but with tears they become wet,
Taste my salt, like you did when we met.
Do not go away, and leave me chained like this.
Come back to my heart, your lips caress me in a kiss.
Should I stay here, and rot and wither?
Perhaps I am nothing more for you, then a mere sliver.
My strength is enough to pull on my chains.
Out from this mud, crusted with stains.
Love it will do the strangest of things.
Make you believe in the magic of a Unicorns Mane.
My wrists full and bloody with maggots about.
Will you still find me beautiful? Or make me move out?
Oh, but I wait and I wait, just for that kiss.
A caress in the darkness, and eternal bliss.
A place to hold onto, and never let go.
This is a place I see in you. I know,
but why make me wait, all covered like this.
how is this matted dirt easy to kiss?
You may return? Right? perhaps Some day?
Even if you don't, my life does not matter, much any way.
04-17-06, 12:45 PM #870Originally Posted by invert_nexus
You ROCK Nexus.. So Suave, and sexay!! *grin*... Oh yea.. the master of words. I love it. More ... More... More.... see me thrashing back and forth on the bed, More more more hehehhehe..... Oh Wait, can I write that?
04-18-06, 04:51 AM #871
"Profound?... Is that good? Do you like my Poem???
Yep. I like your poem. It talks to me. A better word than profound is perhaps "meaningful".
04-24-06, 05:12 AM #872
I made a wish and kissed it to the wind........
.......Tasted my finger, and guessed the air......
I closed my eyes and smiled at a friend..........
.... ahh he's So brilliant, Im caught up in his snare.......
... MY Nexus what is it that you have Done to me?
Invert, Invert, Nexus sounds like a Dove...........
....... I am but rubble, and Broken don't you see?.......
Oh But do I Dare, fall.... and trip into a Love?...........
Your thoughts smiled on me when I opened the PM....
Sweet like I like it, Your Mine! I will pretend.....
..But im afraid with your words, you have me hanging from a limb.
...... But I can't just let go, not with you My Friend......
Why right now? with all of this other shit!
That I find I can't place or smile meanwhile.......
... I Face away from the wind, my hair whirls then hit........ s?
Oh, I am so at a loss of nothing To say...
The way I wallow in it every day.
Perhaps it's just nothing, but a fanciful crush.....
Oh No Wait I shouldn't say that, that could be too much?
.....But the truth is you see, While I was kissing the wind,
that my wish would blow to you blessings my dearest Friend.
So Should you be out side, all chilled in this nights Air.....
Know I stepped out side for you. For a moment, From my Lair.
What an accomplishment! Thank you I will take a bow........
....And you have me captivated, god I wonder how?.....
Recluse Like I am.... But Driven By a Magic!
..........Oh no wait, we talked about it. I forgot I am manic.....
But does it matter so much that I am?........
After all your a Heart beat away.................And worlds apart.
God I talk to much. I should shut up. Damn.
Tho, again your attractive in the best way, which makes me ponder What God was thinking when He Created You as My Art?
Oh My two Thoughts, they Tug and they War!
.............................You know I would love to just be your little.......... (HA!)
But the truth is This, and Its Real enough to Kiss,
That should you leave or go away, you I would Miss.
Fuck this poem, I want to write Much More....
Something BRILLIANT! To leave at your door........
So count the day's down from 7 or Ten..........
You just might receive a gift, for my heart you did mend.....
It wont be an Ear. I am Not a Masochistic/Sadist....
Just worlds Of Mine. You know, things I have Created.
So sleep well tonight, tomorrow and such.........
..........You mean a lot to me, Very Very Much...........
04-24-06, 05:20 AM #873
Forever running back and forth.......Never The South, Directly north...
Turning in yearning and swimming in Mind...... This lost place I can't remember to Find.
And what is forgot in thousands of days Returns to Play in mischievous ways.
She lingers and listens to the sounds of my tears For barter I pay her then take away her fears.
Written in Trade, blood spills through this hollow blade together and bound.
always this way, and never to dance with that.
See her arch and hiss... wings spread, the bat.
it is what she is... and nothing at all... the beauty of my night, the leafs in the fall.
I miss her today
The color of the moon without any sun... Together and unending in circles we run.
swirling and dancing together we spin, She is my yang, and I am her Yin.
close so close now I can see it from here. She has my heart, there is nothing to fear.
The laugh that dances in patterns is false, but nothing lamer then the liars waltz.
and spin yes we spin together again. I will lift her up high from my white swops my black... and know again we will stab each other, in the back.
and the tears will fall out all over the ground. With bloodletting spray on the razor is found. not her's nor mine, you can't give what you can't find.... so we dance
04-24-06, 05:37 AM #874
Some day, I WILL Open up the Door in the Morning, Take a Deep
Breath in.. Listen to the way Birds sing. And Not just listen, But some how
Feel them Sing too and connect and Embrace In a Harmony so Earnestly written
about since.... well Since man could Talk.. I would See the Dew on the
Spider Webs, not as nasty bugs, But as Small Magnificent Beings Fulfilled in
Life by nothing more then The Love Of Architecture and the Occasional bug who
Views to close, tangles the delicate Fabric and is Devoured with only the
Love skill and Grace of a spider... I will See this Transition Happen not as
some horrifying Death. But Rather I will See it as a Quick Penetration of the
finest Chemical Produced by the ancient Alchemists to induce Joy and Serenity
and soft sleep as the creature passes from this Dimension into the next.
Leaving his mass behind for the Continuation of the Great Architect. I will
See the Threading and the Webbing of the bug not as a Hideous Strangulating
Restraint.. But a Blanket of the softest fabric that will Wrap it's delicate
intoxicated body with nothing but the Finest threads Fit for a Pharos.... A
Beautiful Good bye to this world with a hello into the next...
With the Spider Full and satisfied, and the Bug Snugly and cozily wrapped in
his Fare well, I will Glance to see the Creature Of grass that wears a soft
blanket of Dew and Drinks from it.. I will not see this Grass as a staining
Growing annoyance of a chore.. But Rather.. For what it Truly is, a
remarkable recreation of a stamped out event that Provides Pillows and
coolness to our Feet in the Summer. I will Marvel in the Awe of how a
winding Ivy Interacts and climbs a Giant Pine tree. I wont see this as some
Germinating mass Feeding on the roots of the Pine, and climbing it's back,
covering it's eyes blinding the tree. Bringing a Escalator of Sap eating
bugs to the top of the Pine only to Eat it Down to nothing and move On..
Instead I will See it as a helpful Creature who Appreciates his grace and
Heights. Who Holds the Winding Ivy up like Little John on Christmas morning
so he can View the world and all her Grace... The Pine, So appreciative to
the Ivy Creature knowing that no Bark or wood will ever grow, though they
are Kindred in the Way they Feed....
I will be Thankful For the Dirt and Rocks.. Not Kicking them out into the
Street not caring and out of anger . Rather, Finding the beauty in the
delicate way the molecules Bind one another and Hold on to a creation
Chipped away with time and sculpted By the Hand or the Artist Air and Time.
I will Be thank full For the Bonding Molecules Who make possible every
Home, comfort Known to the earth. The Same Molecule structures of the rock
that provides us with a Dwelling space once Grinded Down and re formed by
tha hand of man, the imagination of patience. The Structure of Learning.
and the Artistic grace of God. I will be thank full for the Sun. I will Not
see it as a blistering bubble or ultraviolet Razor like heat that scorches
it's Victoms Slowly through out the Day whilst they do not know.. Or How it
make Dry the Desert And starves the Creatures. A huge Blazing GIANT Large
and hungry Pulling Each planet toward it waiting to Engulf it in Flame ...
.......................Instead.. I will See it as the source of Nurturing it
truly is. A Soft Warmth. Another Giant Creature who keeps it's Distance only
to provide small amounts of Nutrients to hungry Cell organisms who can only
feed through the Wondrous and strange way of Photo synthesis. I will See
the Sun as spreading Light through the land to Let me Look at all these
wonder full things of the Earth. The Warmth of a Giant... But the Heart of a
Leviathan.... Spreading creation in ways that will Massage every sense
known To man.... knowing the light from the energy of the Sun is the only
way we know Color.. and Be thankful for Site to see it. Oh the colors.. I
will also Look to the flowers and NOT say they need to be Brighter Better. I
will Not allow the smell to bother my Sinus cavities with excited mucus
Producing membrane stimulating Pollen... Instead I will See the Creation of
unfolding. The Sexual desire of the Flower reaching to the Bee through sense
of Smell and pheromones. Not to Seduce or entrap, but To Share and feed the
hungry bee for Spreading it's pollen so Delicately to other Flowers. I will
See them As Giggling Ferries, awaiting the Kiss of the bee....
yes.. When I wake up in the Morning Some day, this is what It will be
Like... But it isn't at the Moment.... Sunrises Burn my Eyes as if I was
some horrid partying Drunk the night before. My Eye lids Heavy from the
light and sleep I lack. ... The sleep that never comes after a Bazillion
Sheep... The Sleep That never Nurtures My thoughts. The sleep that when it
Does come, is Restless. Producing Terrifying paralyzing flashes of Neurons
through my brain. Pounding Down on the biology that Produces Dopamine’s....
Flooding My Mind with Delusions Of None existing Creatures who Toy with
me... Beat me, and slap me. The sleep that dose not Bring to me the comfort
of relaxed Muscles that are refreshed and ready in the morning, but rather
Shaking and sore reminding us of the impending DOOM of DEATH and Old age.
The Sleep that I miss that makes my eyes water and my mouth Yawn. The Sleep
that Has me day dreaming into other places on the flip side because Focus is
Just out of reach. Concentration is using spiritual Fumes to maintain it's
vibration of, "I am Bored".... but has not enough Fuel to move Beyond
The Sleep That promised kisses of Sanctuary and the embrace of Solitude.
With out Sleep the senses work more Over time. The Body Begins to use
emotion as a sense of it's own, just to make sense of the sense's....
Confusion kicks in.. you want so Much to Just let go, but there's this anger
because The Sandman has not visited... Suddenly the Evil distortion of Mania
has transformed a Mythical Creature Of Dream into a taunting Creature who
holds the key to all of your happiness. To all Of your Successes, to the
very Security of who you are.... but Does not allow you any more then a
taste. Like a Crack Pimp would do to a Junky whore.... For no other reason
then to tease for his own amusement.
The Anger will have me annoyed at every sound... every bright light....
My feelings would be intensified to the point of a numbing tingling
sensation that refuses to stop. As If the circulation of Blood in my Veins
Is doing the Cha cha Drunk and wasted Dancing around in nothing more then
Tubes in a Water park. The anger Will Grow... The Annoyance will Rise...
there will be no out let for this. Implosion becomes reality But has
Paused it's self in time only to watch you suffer. your anger Has Now risen
like a tsunami.
I Think to my self this is the reason for Structure. This is the Burial Of Chaos.
Anger thrashes out as if it were a storm beating into the buildings of a Helpless city.
Every encounter, a man Walking his dog, the women taken her children to school… all of them Disgust me. I want to Bring them down to me, only to see how they Raise out of my Hell. This Anger turns to a harsh anguish that hurts and pounds. If the Spider web were any larger I would throw myself to it like a lady of the night to Jack the ripper. Take this Madness’ from me… NO! Wait, Please don’t make it go away. When it is gone all is empty and shallow like the Arizona Trapped Forever under only feet of water. Where once there was shouts and echo’s of crying mean, there is nothingness there now. Just a Reminder… No, Do Not take my anger, do Not take my Anguish and leave me empty.
Tears swell like the Dew on the Grass…. My Cheeks are blades of grass where the dew slides down. Every thing Becomes a blur. I am I still here? I have to wonder to myself. Is there a hope of change? Of Taking this Negative impression of my being away and replacing it with a Photo of hope?
Nothing makes sense any more. There is only a moat of tears swirling at my feet mixing with some small Puddle of mud and water. Rainbows swirl in the little moat reminding me of nothing more then How toxins rainbow them selves’ out in the same fashion. Tears are, how ever nothing more then Toxins. I want them all released. Gone, but not the Anger. This I need to hold on too. With out it, I will be empty. This Can not be…. No more Emptiness’. Depression Grabs Hold my Heart, like a Rapist Grabbing his victims Flesh. An Un wanted Rape is Preparing it’s self. The Coffee I smell is the only scent that Hold sense for me. Yes, I will go and get my coffee. Through the kitchen, and around to the center island lays a puddle of browned water, and coffee grinds. Again I have made a mess by not paying enough attention as I poured in the coffee. I shake my head and want to cry even more at my own stupidity. But Some how I Find this humorous. I Shake my Head, and watch the cascading coffee stained water slide down the counter. This I some how visualize as a tropical mudslide running down the side of the Counter. The Coffee pot spurts and gurgles like a small Volcano might sound like. I Enjoy this Some how.
I pretend I am stuck in some strange make believe island. The aroma from the MJB coffee smells wonderful, and excitement fills me some how. I Chuckles again at the mess. I walk to the Kitchen sink, there are no Dishes to be Cleaned, and this makes me feel good some how… I Grab the sponge from the back of the sink and I Think to my self how nice and clean the water faucet looks. This Brings another pinch of a smile to me. I am not some one who Cares much for mess, but I never realized it could bring a smile to me when I felt so Dark. Let along how a small mess could amuse me. I sponge up my little Caffeinated water fall… Shaking my head. I feel clumsy, yet I feel better. This is how it feels to be content. This is the Process of the Negative being turned into a photo and I Can Remember now what it is all like again. I will Not let depression hold me down into a low self esteem today.
I Enter My Children’s rooms. They Sleep like little Elves on the flowers in the Decorations I have made for them. I Smile even more to realize that I am Not a dark person. This is where it will all be ok again. While the photo materializes, I feel well again. For now… and I can sleep now. Yawning, I bring myself back to my bed. The Coffee no Longer needed. I push the Canopy aside and slide deep into comfort. This is home. I am Ok. And I will be ok always. This, This is how I try to stay away from the darkness of being Manic Depressive.
04-24-06, 06:44 AM #875
PHP, I've never said anything to you about it, but you write wonderfully. Like with stretched, your poems mean something to me, perhaps because I can relate to your depressed side. That is, if I can find the energy and will to read them. I often don't have the energy to read a long post, but maybe now that I have read some of yours, and know that they have meaning for me, I'll be able to. Probably not always, but some of the time. Hang in there with regards to the m/d.
04-26-06, 06:51 PM #876
04-26-06, 07:25 PM #877
I. Hate. Reality.
Alive is a shitty thing to be.
I. Hate. The Human race.
The worlds' a homosexual place.
04-26-06, 07:58 PM #878
blah blah in da blah...blah blah..more blah...blah...blah...yawn...i wanna sleep
cause its time to take a dip...a sip...and sleep
and sleep so deep...thats its time to weep cause i hear a beep when i sleep
wake up its time
to shine and rhyme
stand up in line
make this rap worth more then dime
I wanna you hear your voice
I kinda know your there
its time to take a piss
but your sitting locked up there
i turn the knob
its all a blob
i mean i see a blob
cause i hit my head hard
or was hit hard...
what a relief
i sit and gaze
all in haze
throught the glass vaze
that got that ancient style maze
hey whats the smell
i ring the bell
she comes all swell
hey honey lets make it all work well
and then were back
to make out shack
paw paw paw paw...woohooo...ride that pony...
it want happen cause I am a wimp
its been the same all day long
I stare at your picture and think of you playing ping-pong
you bend your kness to pick that ball
and slowly move you body to the front
that grace...and passion...love...desire...
itll never happen...even after i retire...
lets hear it for the lonely cowboy.... ....
Last edited by draqon; 04-26-06 at 08:16 PM.
04-26-06, 09:40 PM #879
Air of Jealousy, Wave Of Devotion,
Fuck This World. Set the Bombs In Motion.
Holding Up high, I look For something......
............ To be Pushed Back Under the Water. Continue Flushing.
Hating this, and Hurting that... Beaten and Struck
like a Dead road Killed Rat....
I Am Scared and so Sad.... It's anger, not
torcher that bathing my Body in Metal Clad.
If I could Shut them up, and Push them Away,
I would Feel alone in every Which Way.....
And They Yell, Scream, Shame, Yet Adore Me.
It's Impossible to know how to Ignore it yet Be.
They Listen and Watch Everything I do.....
Worse yet, they Hear, Read And See me Its nothing New.
But I can't just say Anything I want.
It's holding this Wish above me, Like a Liar they Taunt.
Stopping this in a River of Red........ Yea You know what I am
saying, I feel so Dead.
No Adventure Or Penetrations,
Just stagnant Water Stored With Salvations.
Sleep brings hope, like Breathing tomorrow,
But I wake up knowing, No more Drugs there are
Could Be worse. Yes this I Know,
it's just hard To Attempt to Hide it and not Let it show.
I know that some how, you Can Hear what Im saying,
But Just can Speak back.....
It's My Pathetic Chattering, where I lost Respect,
That too me To anger and Under an attack.
Hear though Please, Im TOO easy too Read.....
But God Don't let this Hurt any More...
Give me No More Reasons To Bleed.
04-29-06, 10:12 AM #880
When Something so Dark,
That touches your Heart.......
The Feeling of Bliss,
From the madman's Kiss....
shackles and holds onto your Faith,
Twisting it, losing it... On his Tongue he holds the Taste.
Darkness stretches for Eternity from here...
There's not much any more, not even an Echo To Hear....
Pain Reaches out, As he climbs His Demented Hill.....
He begs you to Hurt him. He begs it's You, You should Kill.
Alone in this place, the Angels Shadow, so there is no Grace.
Hold me some where, away from all that is Wrong....
I have driven Myself So Cold. Surely I must be Gone.
Cast out by the Christian Faith, they believe that I deserve this
I brought about my Own Disgrace.
In the Balance of Buddha, He Nods because he knows,
He tell's me this is Path with help me grow.
I Cry To Allah, to please show me Mercy..
But never did I fallow his faith but word. He's Busy with an On Going conspiracy.
Gaia Hear me, Please come save me with your Flowers.
But man has her consumed, For every seed failed, she uses all Her powers.
So no Where to go then is there at all....
I take my self to the Abyss ready to fall......
Tears continue to flow, for I have lost so much Hope.....
And the people in this world tell me to steady and Cope....
No reflection at all shines in my tears. I it darkness.
And with no feeling I can not feel any kind of caress.
Thinking Of jumping into this pit...
I bite the bottom left side of my lip...
It still hold's salt, so the Poison is still there....
But once again, I really Do not care...
To Swim in Apathy, oh what a dream....
Fuck humanity, and what they Mean.......
I hurt enough this day, and the days before...
I do not want this, no not this. Not any More....
None of it should matter, not all that much...
Especially since I have lost all senses, including touch....
Looking Deeper upon my cliff, I look for solitude to blow wind to my eyes.
I hold my Breath and Jump, with no more Good byes.
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