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Germans are a degenerate people who think that having a double pair of mutant recessive alleles for blond hair and blue eyes is something good. They are also fond of beer, leather and farting. The latter two are a bad combination.

It is no secret that both sexes loathe inefficiency, love the Fatherland, have never been late for anything in their lives, and would secretly quite like to invade Europe, even if they have to do it via the EU.

German engineering is responsible for the most efficient gas chambers ever built.

Of course much has changed since the dark days of the Third Reich and the modern German is now a model of tolerance and open-mindedness. Integration has replaced invasion as the watchword and today's German citizens take great pride in their country's place at the very heart of the EU.

Or so it says on the German tourist leaflets. Try creeping up behind one though and yelling Heil Hitler! in his ear... and it's like the past 60 years never happened. Up goes Hermann's arm like he's been struck by a cattle-prod and off our clockwork Stormtrooper goes - frankfurter in hand, generous backside a-wobbling, goose-stepping all the way back to Poland.

Sciforums Germans

Free Matt 417 is quarter German. Surprisingly, he is at least half crazy.