Came across this article while browsing the news sites.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/01/24/worst.say.at.work/index.html

Mostly dull self improvement stuff. :yawn:

Whats the worst thing you've ever said at work?

My gems:

To boss: "You're wrong"

To boss:"No you did not understand this"

To boss: "Thats impossible, it can never happen this way"

Although, to be fair, I was right all the times I said these.

:D

Whats the worst thing you've ever said at work?

Without question something I have said a number of times to employers:

That would be OK, I guess.

I'll leave it to you to imagine the possible consequences of what sometimes feels like something one has to say.

"I LOVE my job"--in a VERY sarcastic tone. :D

'Big Fat Hairy Liar' to the boss. They really should put names tags on people for new hires.

Well mostly in the form of a tongue in cheek comment I have slanted god, politics, sports teams, the general pyramid structure of employment, along with a host of other things and making offensive statements. The people around me take it in good spirits and laugh and know if they want a more serious discussion they're welcome to it but I don't expect others to agree with me.
Gems such as "we should just eat dogs like the Chinese do, then there wouldn't be any strays"
and "I love sychronized disabled swimming, especially when they all drown"
and if anyone ever says "I've never been so insulted in all my life"
the correct response is "well all I can say is you've been damn lucky"
:D
Judging by that article however we're all supposed to keep our mouths shut at work incase someone disagrees with anything we say(which is highly likely since 2 people rarely; if ever - agree on everything) and they hold it against us. Well welcome to the real world I'm afraid many people discriminate and you can't hide under a rock and never make a sound.
Overall the article's good but based on a business style world and at times misleading. If the boss wrongly points the finger of blame at you then you actually should try justify yourself(without blaming others), fail to do so and you'll probably be labelled incompetent.

Brian: Man Did I ever tell you I hate you
Me: Did I ever tell you that I nailed your mom
Brian: Your a real douche bag
Me: I hope you die of aids

Brian is my boss

Man, I make way to much money for the work I'm doing! :eek:

"Yeah, that would be OK, I guess"

Or words to that effect.

Someone told a co-worker that her outfit was nice and I burst out laughing.

[talking about the second world war]
"Yeah, until his lot came along" (glancing towards a German colleague)

[after my girlfriend broke her coccyx falling out of bed]
colleague: "Shouldn't she have landed on all fours like a cat?!"
me: "well... she started off that way" (he chuckled for a while on that one!)

And general usage of prejudiced terms such as 'gyp' instead 'cheap'.

once when i was a lifeguard there was this kid who was a terror and was not following the rules i told the other guard on duty that i would deal with the little @$$hole

"WTF is it ragweek here?"

"WTF is it ragweek here?" OMG!!! How did you not get killed!? :eek:

"WTF is it ragweek here?"

LOL.... At least it's only a week. Men are on it everyday of the yr :p

I told a co-worker once "This place sucks." My boss was within earshot, and had me come outside for a little "conference". I refused to apologize for saying it, so he sent me home for the rest of the day. He fired me the next day. I'd worked there for a little over five years.

"if you dont pay me by tomorow im not coming in" (this was after my pay was a week late)

That little gem got me fired

I once punched my boss in the face...and still kept my job. Although I did work at a bar, and he was drunk, and gay, and was hitting on me.

and you didnt just tell him you wernt intersted why?

He grabbed my junk, and we were both drunk. We are still friends though...I went to his house this weekend and installed a new lighting fixture for him.

I punched out the windshield in the shop delivery truck at a job I once had. My boss was a complete asshole, and no matter how hard I worked, it was never good enough. After having just made a long distance parts delivery run in a truck with no air conditioning in 105 degree plus heat, he couldn't understand why it had taken so long (traffic). As I went out to deliver more parts, my anger caught up to me, and I punched out the windshield of the truck when I was stopped at a traffic light. I finished the run, went back to the shop, and told my boss that I had lost my temper and had punched out the windshield in the truck. He didn't say much, he could tell I was right on the edge. And I went home.

Amazingly, I wasn't fired for it. I was written up, but not fired. I realized I had to get out of there before I punched my boss out, so I immediately began searching for another job.

Not long after I left, I found out that his wife left him for one of the mechanics that worked there. He came home for lunch and caught them. I was happy for her. She had always been very nice to me, and I could tell that he was just as much of an abusive asshole to her as he was to me (probably even worse at home).

I accidentally called someone I was tutoring math old. It was a very awkward tutoring session after that...

"I'll be out in a minute, I'm choking the Bishop!"

my boss- "why dont you do some god damn work around here?"
me - "why dont you build me a railroad?"

(he's korean,we're friends,we joke like this a lot...but the other person in the office was new and didnt know we were joking.....hahahaha)

To coworker about his girlfriend: "I guess I'd consider fucking your girlfriend if I'd already nailed every broad in China."

On the day I discovered that 'pen' and 'cunt' are pronounced almost exactly the same way in Chinese (just with a different tone)...

"Eva, my dear, how has your cunt been doing lately?"
"Oh my, another interview... please pass me the cunt..."
"I have to say I prefer using your cunt to her cunt. It's much more smooth to use your cunt. If you'll let me, I'd love to use your cunt every day."
"Wow... look at the vast number cunts we have here... I wonder if anywhere in all of China's history has ever had this many cunts in one place..."

Needless to say my facade of maturity faded quickly after this day.

Teaching an Italian guy to ask the waitress's if they would 'like cream with their cunny' (but I think he was doing it because he knew he could get away with it).

"What do you mean where's the f^C(ING chip's i'll knife you you c*nt"..then having to be restrained...

"I wanna her a yes or no anwser or I'll glass you with this (holding vinegar bottle).
Michael (waiter).."I don' (SMASH) (vinegar all over the walls,sunday roast's).
LoL He was head chef at dunstable police station as well..

In Italy I packed up my stuff told the manager I was leaving as I had beaten up big gay pete the bar manager and couldn't give too hoots what she thought about it as I had warned him twice,when she had gone put down my bags walked into the staff lounge gave him a slap and he walked out crying...but he had been warned, I laughed all the way home....

The funniest was arguing with a pot wash and I told him if he kept lipping me I'd put his hand in the fryer...he carried on so I tried to grab his hand and after a tussle (I swear he screamed like a bitch)he got away and ran off crying too...lol the fryer wasn't even on..

Hmmm looking back I might have some anger Issues:scratchin:It was a while ago though...you think Gordon Ramsey is a badman:p

"Sure, go ahead and mix those two half-drums of hazardous waste into one drum, I'm sure it will be fine"

In a course for undergrads:
"careful, minute amounts of liquid nitrogen will freeze you up in seconds".
And then pouring some over my hand.

I never said anything bad, but showing up as a nudist on casual Friday sure made me lots of friends...

In a course for undergrads:
"careful, minute amounts of liquid nitrogen will freeze you up in seconds".
And then pouring some over my hand.

Oh boy, that must have been painful! I remember having some spill on a finger when I was transferring it from a nitrogen tank to a smaller receptacle.:bawl:

I told my boss that he acted like a two year old girl who had her Barbie doll taken away (we were alone in the office). He had a temper. I'm stubborn. It's a bad combination.

Last week, I told a newly promoted manager that she was funny for a fat chick. It totally came out wrong (what the right way of saying it is, I don't know). Thankfully she's thin, absolutely beautiful, has a wicked sense of humor, thick skinned and full of witty replies and said, "You're pretty cool for a gay guy." I totally dodge a harassment bullet.

~String

Oh boy, that must have been painful! I remember having some spill on a finger when I was transferring it from a nitrogen tank to a smaller receptacle

Nope you do not feel a thing. It evaporates before it can really cool down your skin significantly. Unless you pour a whole tank over it (then your hand cools down to a point that the nitrogen does not evaporate that fast anymore) or if you place your hand in a container with nitrogen (obviously). Mostly I do that as a starter joke for students, before I go on to the really dangerous stuff. Before I often had some (in courses, not grad students yet) that were afraid to handle liquid nitrogen, because in the institute years ago a nitrogen-related death occurred. I do this to make it clear that suffocation was the cause, not freezing.

Nope you do not feel a thing. It evaporates before it can really cool down your skin significantly. Unless you pour a whole tank over it (then your hand cools down to a point that the nitrogen does not evaporate that fast anymore) or if you place your hand in a container with nitrogen (obviously). Mostly I do that as a starter joke for students, before I go on to the really dangerous stuff. Before I often had some (in courses, not grad students yet) that were afraid to handle liquid nitrogen, because in the institute years ago a nitrogen-related death occurred. I do this to make it clear that suffocation was the cause, not freezing.

Hmm, I have to try this. :D

Forgot to add. Pour slowly. And don't try this at home, kids!