"No Masturbation or Porn for you!?"

Hello Everyone,

I would need some advice on an issue. My girlfriend (23) does not what to engage in any sexual activity before marriage because of her religious conviction, which frustrates me (25). I myself, don't want to have sex yet but i would not mind to engage in some petting/mutual masturbation. She also does not want me to masturbate by myself.

I threw away all of my porn,fetish materials in the process of keeping her. I can understand that in the process of making porn a lot of people get exploited. And that porn can be seen as immoral for such a reason. But what about masturbation?

I love her and I want to respect her wishes but sometimes the not doing anything, and the no stimulating materials thing annoys me a lot. What do you all suggest I should do, what are your opinions on this, and what type of personal experience did you all have with your partners concerning masturbation and/or porn/fetish materials? I would appreciate any advice. Thank You!

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umm talk to her insted of the internet?

she needs to respect you as much as you respect her. That means that yes you should respect her decision not to do anything but she also has to respect your desire for self sexual releace

 

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First of all, don't listen to asguard, his "expertise" on women and relationships are a well known laugh riot of a joke.

She sounds like a keeper to me, hurry up and marry her so you can bust a nut.

 

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Umm, rub one out when you need to and don't tell her.
Chances are she will never understand that sexual release is a necessity for a man, Just because she is a prude and doesn't think about sex, doesn't give her the right to expect everyone else to conform to her way of being. My guess is that when you finally do get married, she isn't going to satisfy you in bed. Due to her religious convictions, she probably thinks sex is a dirty nasty filthy thing, and she'll never be able to truly enjoy it. She will do it as her wifely duty to you, but nothing more.
But as asguard said, talk to her. Explain to her how it is necessary for a man. If she isn't willing to budge and meet you halfway, then you may want to reconsider if she is right for you.

 

Desire To Ejaculate Motivates Local Christian To Wed

February 11, 1998 | Issue 33•05

PADUCAH, KY—Throughout his life, 22-year-old Matthew Leske has been a devout Christian, attending services three times a week at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church in his hometown of Paducah, regularly participating in Bible-study devotionals with his mother and four sisters, and faithfully adhering to the dictums of his strict fundamentalist Christian upbringing.

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Though his wedding date has yet to be set, fundamentalist Christian Matthew Leske is so eager to ejaculate that he has already purchased his tuxedo and is waiting patiently at the church.

Throughout his post-pubescent life, Leske has also, like all male humans, been gripped by an intense, all-consuming desire to ejaculate sperm, but has been unable to do so out of fear of incurring the wrath of God and suffering an eternity of agonizing punishment in the afterlife.

A part-time prep-cook and odd-job yardwork handyman when not volunteering as a Bible witness to local shut-ins and nursing-home residents, the young Leske has never had much time for socializing with members of the opposite sex. Nevertheless, last week, Leske announced his intention to marry fellow Christian Luann Ruth Perkins, also a member of Holy Christ Almighty, whom he met on a church-sponsored Luther League hayride two months ago.

Leske cited his irresistible desire to achieve sexual climax and ejaculate sperm without having to go to hell as the number one factor in his decision to propose marriage.

"I really want to discharge semen," he said. "I mean I really, really, really want to really bad."

Living his 22 years inviolate under strict fundamentalist doctrine, Leske has never ejaculated, for to do so outside the holy bonds of sacramental matrimony would mean non-negotiable, eternal punishment upon death.

"I don't want to go to hell," said Leske, explaining his decision not to engage in premarital ejaculation. "I am absolutely terrified of the burning and scorching of my impure, unclean flesh in the Lake of Fire; the prodding and stabbing by pitchforks wielded by demons; and, in particular, the unending, eternal torment in pits of boiling pitch as Satan the Deceiver laughs in sadistic glee."

Burning with a desire to ejaculate so overwhelming that it has threatened to dwarf even his love for Christ, Leske has, ever since puberty, researched the subject at length, discovering "five score and seventeen" different methods by which males can achieve ejaculation. Unfortunately, Leske said, not one of them is permissible under fundamentalist-Christian law.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29644

 

Sorry, but i totally disagree with u. ESP with the red coloured line. No where did the topic starter write that the girl thinks sex to be dirty. The girl does think sex to be dirty, but thats "pre marital sex". And most of the people who are religious does hate it. So thereas nothing wrong in it. After marriage, sex is never considered as dirty in any religion. Therefore, since the girl is religious, she has no reason to hate sex after marriage.

 

Comming back to the topic, i think u can masterbate yourself if u want to, cause that will make u feel better. But i think, its better to not watch porn.

 

You haven't been with very many women have you...

 

He won't be married long, his future wife is going to drown on their wedding night..

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Seriously, as has already been pointed out, you need to talk with her. The outcome will give you some insight on how much and what type of discord your marriage is going to experience. Ideally, couples should discuss issues and come to mutual agreement or at least compromise. This is not always possible of course, and you have to agree to disagree. Even if this is the case, does that give her the right to dictate your private activities that do not even directly affect her?

If you encounter a stern "it's my way or the highway", you might want to rethink some of your plans...

 

Get another woman that will do as you and she both want. Drop this woman now if you can't establish a good communication enough with her to even try to settle your differences somehow. Just think of what this relationship is going to like when you marry her!

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:itold:

 

The best I can manage for now ....

Terminate the relationship.

Take some time to think about your own priorities.

Get back to us when those two points are taken care of.

Seriously, I would give you better, more sincere advice than that, but those two points are sincere, and they're about all I can manage. After all that sort of buildup, sexual intercourse often results in a sort of, What, that's it? sentiment, and many people who experience that also find themselves trapped in a relationship they obliged themselves to for the wrong reasons.

If you truly want to respect her, terminate the relationship, figure out what's important to you, and work from there.

 

Explain to her that anal doesn't count. If that doesn't work explain that you can have sex and then be forgiven for it later. If that still doesn't work, dump the bitch, she will always have a hang up about sex.

 

i do have to agree with the second part of spiders post and its actually why i would NEVER encorage someone to be a virgin on there weding night. you have no sexual experiance with her at all so how the hell do you even know if the two of you share the same interests sexually?

Hell the federal goverment in australia put out a pamplet on relationships and what you should do before taking the next step in them

Things like having a joint bank acount, living together ect and most importantly HAVING HAD SEX BEFORE GETTING MARRIED

 

Horribly Awkward First Sexual Encounter 'Worth The Wait' For Christian Newlyweds

March 17, 1999 | Issue 35•10

CHARLESTON, SC—John and Linda McCue, joined in holy matrimony Sunday before friends, family and their Lord at Holy Christ Almighty Lutheran Church, said the incredibly awkward wedding-night consummation of their love was "well worth the wait."

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Newlywed Christians John and Linda McCue.

"I'm so glad we waited until we got married—it made it so much more special," said the 26-year-old Linda, who is "pretty sure" John's penis penetrated her vaginal opening during the brief, fumbling lovemaking session. "I can't imagine what a letdown our first sexual experience would have been if we'd done it at some point during our five years of dating."

John, 27, agreed. "As I prepared, sweat-drenched and terror-struck, to insert my semi-erect penis into my petrified new bride, I couldn't help but think what a precious, magical moment it was. Then, as Linda started to cry out from the anticipation of pain from the first-ever breaching of her tightly constricted vaginal walls, a tear of joy streamed down my cheek."

According to the devout Lutherans, after retiring to their bridal suite at the Charleston Marriott East, Linda decided to initiate the evening of romance and dread by excusing herself to the bathroom, where she spent "approximately an hour" changing into the floor-length cotton nightgown she had purchased especially for the occasion.

Recalled John: "When I saw Linda emerge from the bathroom, a vision in billowing, opaque cloth, her head and hands peeking tantalizingly from the tight collar and cuffs, the moment we first fell in love came rushing back to me in a wave of adoration and fear."

After an estimated 45 minutes spent in prayer and devotionals to ensure the smoothest possible act of coitus, John made sure the windows and doors were all securely locked, and that all windowshades and blinds were closed. He then reached to his nightstand to turn out the lights "to contribute to the feeling of romance" and "because Linda refused to let me touch her nightgown until the room was completely dark."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39100

 

The easiest thing, what most guys would do, is just lie. But you probably should discuss it with her to find out how much of a zealot she is. I mean, are you going to be happily married until she finds a playboy under your mattress and then she divorces you?

I'd tell her that you respect her values, but that a man has needs that just have to be fulfilled from time to time. Maybe you can throw in the bit about how not ejaculating increases your risk of prostate cancer!

If she absolutely refuses to "allow" you any sexual release; you'll have to make a decision.

 

Just go play with yourself and dont tell us about it.

 

Well, this is a consensus you don't often find on SF.

"Talk with her, she gets with the program or you move on." Seems simple in theory, but may be hard to execute in real life. Tell us, Truenemo1889, what do you intend to do with this advice?

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes

 

As Tiassa says, terminate the relationship.

She has no right to demand that of you.