According to a Washington Post article, boudoir photography has become the fifth-biggest money-maker for professional photographers. Lest your imaginations run rampant, this specialty deals exclusively with photos of women alone, in poses ranging from provocative and erotic to memorable and empowering. They may be nude, partly nude, discreetly nude (with all the naughty parts carefully obscured), in lingerie, sleepwear, or something more imaginative--would a cowgirl or a skimpified Star Fleet uniform turn any of you on?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! A photo they will give to their husband or boyfriend. In fact it's apparently something of an American tradition for a woman to give such a photo to her fiance shortly before the wedding. Or she may be dressed up in her exercise gear--or underwear, or nude--in a pose that shows off how trim, muscular and powerful she is today. This is a photo she will keep for herself and look at when she's my age. I hasten to add that many women my age are still trim, muscular and powerful, but none of them would consider an intimate photo to be complimentary, with the wrinkles, splotches, varicose veins and various sagging parts. Oh, the four top money-makers? Family portraits Children Pregnant women Pets
a sexy picture comes after a picture of the family mutt!? Hmmmm, my curiosity is piqued. I'm wondering what the hubby would prefer. This is different than Glamour Shots right?
If you don't already know, and since you have a few kids together it would be near criminal not to. Endulge his confessed fetish or fantasy. Most men like some sort of clothing style or outfit, uniform etc. Use that and DON'T TRY TO MAKE UP SOMETHING THAT YOU THINK HE WILL LIKE, stay focused and stay on his fantasy dreamgirl look. If he likes the french maid look, giving him a picture of you in a nuns outfit would be offensive to his willingness to trust you by opening himself up to you. If you already have these items in the closet a better idea, one that we did and had alot of fun was to model for him and let him take the pictures and tell you what he wants, poses etc. This requires you to completely go along with it and not fight him. Embrace your inner you know what. He will be so damn happy you did this for him, and I would suggest not making it a one time thing. It's funny when you think how easy we are to make happy.
We resent you calling our third generation of carefully bred Lhasa Apsos "mutts," but of course they wouldn't care. I think the point is that there's less business in boudoir portraiture than pet portraiture because the market is much smaller. For starters, it's limited to half the population, and only during a narrow age range! How many women do you know who have had, or would consider, this type of portrait? But I'll bet you know a few people who have pet portraits. We've got two of ours on our business card, and a painter (who is also a customer) asked our permission to do portraits of a couple of others for a show. We used to be cat people and have a couple of professional photos of them, and we've also got a Chinese watercolor of one of our parrots. Go to any crafts fair and you'll find at least one artist who will put your dog, cockatoo, ocelot or capybara on a scarf, jacket or stationery. There aren't quite as many things you can do with a boudoir portrait unless you're Pamela Anderson.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! That depends completely on the details of your relationship and what you share. A lot of people don't know each other's fantasies, even the ones that concern themselves. I did once read the astounding report that when people fantasize during sex, they both imagine that the man is somebody else. Figure that one out! Yeah what was your first clue? That a lady might be proud to show that off to her mother, boss and PTA colleagues? And wouldn't sue somebody who put it on MyFaceTube!
Pffffft.....It seems like it is always put on the woman, what she should do to please her man. Act out HIS fantasies, dress like a whore..blah blah ONTOP of everything else we do for him on a regular basis. Let me ask you how many men out there go out of their way to please their women?
Yeah it seems that way. But I think it comes down to how women perceive what we want. And what we want seems trivial to you, compared to what women tend to want it is. But don't cheapen the cheap. Point being that it's not for you to decide what we want, if you want to make our lives funner and more enjoyable, then you do them because we enjoy it and you want to make us happy. It doesn't have to make sense to you and you should expect him to do those things of which you long for. I would never ask my wife to have a nice warm bath ready with scented candles around the tub when I come home, followed by a massage. I don't want those things. I don't need mental stimulation either. But if that's what she wants then what is the problem for me to do it. If she wanted me to dress up like a freaking cowbow I would do it without question. She is not asking me to do something I can't or won't. So for the men that don't go out of their way, then she is missing those luxuries that he could easily provide, within reason. So what's wrong with the women doing those things for the man. It should be a two way street absolutely, in that I would agree. In fact, you should expect to get what you give. But should one be expected to give and give with the other not offering anything. That is a recipe for problems and resentment.
dress like a whore??? WTHell? A woman dresses sexy and looks provocative and she's dressed like a whore. Lord Love a duck. Sounds like my Mom. Well Fraggle, maybe this is why more women don't do it. They think it makes them look like a whore.
not a damn thing. If I ever find my husband on his knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, he will find me on my knees later that night. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I wasn't defending the practice. Just giving possible reasons why photographers make more money from pet portraits than boudoir portraits. These days I'd be frightened to have a photo taken of me in a compromised pose. Everything's digital and you never know where it'll end up. Like that idiot who allowed himself to be photographed smoking a bong. That, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for the epidemic of nausea if it was circulated.
O.k so today I'm allowed access and not yesterday. The Mods are teasing me. Firstly, as someone who has been a full time pro photographer ( admittedly not in the U.S), I'm having real trouble working out how Wedding photography is not on the list of top money earners. The top money earners in Photog. are in fashion, commercial, or even stock but weddings are far more lucrative than portraits and pets ( here at least) barely create a blip on the radar. Boudoir is O.K for making a few bucks but I just can't do it. Taking 'evocative', 'provocative', heaven help me, 'sexy' images of someone elses' bovine, ovine, porcine or more likely canine wife is too damn demeaning. Give me a Grouping of Show mutts (also know as a Lhapso concentration) anytime.
I don't see any traffic on the super-secret Moderators' board about giving you a one-day suspension. We're obligated to report those. In my observation, over here people will spend an enormous amount of money on a wedding, but not hire a professional photographer. I don't know how it is wherever you live, but Americans devote immense time, passion and money to their hobbies. I daresay each of us knows at least one "amateur" photographer whom we'd trust to cover a wedding, and not be disappointed. Adults are much easier to shoot than children and pets! I think the statistics were about the total segment of the GDP. Clearly both the art and craft in fashion and commercial photography are at a higher level than almost any other specialty. But on any day the number of family portraits being shot is a thousand times greater than the number of fashion shoots, so that segment of the photographers' economy is much larger. As for pets, well welcome to America. Our social skills with other humans--even our own family--may be on the verge of dysfunctionality, but we make up for it in the attention we lavish on our pets. Probably because we can depend on them to love us even when we're at our most unlovable. There are both photographers and painters who specialize in pet portraits. But it's your job as a professional artist to find and highlight her attractive side. Everybody has one. Nobody said it would be easy and I'm sure those guys make big bucks. I'm a non-career entertainer and I understand the thrill of making someone else happy. I can imagine how one of those photographers feels when a rather ordinary-looking customer walks out of his studio delighted by his art.
LOL. Does he know this ? He might find that valuable information. But yes, whatever it is that we need from each other we should offer happily as long it is reasonable and attainable.
There is a difference in those examples though. A man cleaning the kitchen floor, is just job that he could do to help out his wife around the house. It doesn't require him to get dressed up like an idiot to fulfill some stupid fantasy SOME men might have. For instance....dressing up like a naughty nurse, a prostitute, stripper, school girl with pony tails..etc. Why should a woman have to dress up and pretend that she is something she is not? I am NOT talking about dressing sexy or provocative. I am talking about all out slutty and really trying to portray somebody else. That's the point right? So their men can pretend they are having sex with someone else? :shrug: My point really is and still is........NOT MANY men go out of their way to do things like that for their wives. How many men would go for a Boudoir Photo? How many men go out of their way to get dressed up like a character and put on a show for their women? How many men even own sexy underwear? I just find it funny when you men say stuff like my wife never does this or never would do that to give me a thrill. Then you take a look at the husband and think why the hell should she. Look at yourself and when you are ready to do all those things to get her going maybe your wife will too.
I picked up a little book for my wife called "XXX Porn for Women." (Don't tell her, it's a surprise.) It's full of photos of really attractive young guys with adorable expressions, in poses that show off their muscles and body shape, but they're fully clothed, in plain tank tops and stuff like that. In the first one the guy has just opened a box from some place like IKEA with all the parts for a cabinet inside. He's sitting there with this huge sheaf of paperwork in his lap saying, "I'm not going to start assembling this until I've read ALL of the instructions." Another guy is handing the reader a glass of champagne and holding a bank statement in his other hand, saying, "Guess what? I just paid off the mortgage." Another one is on his back looking at the kitchen drain with all his tools laid out, saying, "We'd better let a professional plumber handle this one." One is looking at a magazine spread and says, "I wish our kitchen looked this good. What would you think about remodeling it this year?" Another one answers the phone, "Nah, go ahead and have a good time at dinner with your friends. I'll pick Billy up from his play date." And finally there is one all dressed up in a cute outfit: a white coat and a stethoscope. He says, "You have to understand that you have a serious medical condition. You need to keep your calories up and get plenty of chocolate." Well I didn't mean to highlight that facet of boudoir photography. Most of the customers don't play dress-up. They pose the way their man will see them in the bedroom: underwear, negligee or nothing. I really wonder how many people actually do the costume thing--besides hookers, I mean. My generation is pretty candid about their sexual experiences, and I don't know anyone who has done that. You might have a favorite outfit that for whatever reason makes your partner especially attractive to you, but it could very well be one that he or she wears to the office or around the yard. Most men don't understand female sexuality at all. They think it works the same way ours does. And of course the clumsy, extreme feminism of the 1960s didn't help, when young women assumed that being equal meant being identical and tried their best to behave just like men. Men are turned on by sexy appearance. Women are turned on by being treated thoughtfully.
Shorty, I agree that there are things we both do anyway, like mow the grass and clean the kitchen. We share those duties as we both work full time. If your spouse is not holding up their end of the bargain on chores, then it will have an affect on the bedroom. But that is a separate issue. The issue here is that his fantasies and I am speaking in general terms, are not yours. What he might like is not the same as you. What your doing and saying is to hell with his fantasies. To me that is selfish but I realize that it is asking a lot to have you do something out of your comfort range. But understanding that it doesn't cheapen you with your spouse, it's not like your really a prostitute. It's really more an issue that the woman has not the man. I want to be clear here that I am not talking or directing comments to you specifically, just in general terms, men/women. I know there are male chauvinists, but were talking good husband/wife. It's more in her mind as an intelligent women associates this with negative sterotypes. That is where they literally have to put aside logic and restraint and just let go and have some fun with it. You would be suprised of the power you could have by doing so. We are similar in many ways because I am not the flaunting type, I would have a hard time acting out a role, I could put on a costume but I would have to get pretty liquored up to be more unihibited. Well maybe dressing sexy is all they need. Maybe like me they like the secretary look, skirt, stockings high heels. Maybe he likes the nurse look, do you like men in uniform ? After many years of marriage it's not about thinking of someone else, but about trying to create interest and desire. To me the tease is more important than ever. So I am not trying to tell you or anyone else how to be, but I am being truthful about men and what they are or can be inside. Depends on whether you want to see us in one. If you spouse might think he won't look good, which is I am sure a problem for women as well. You just have to ask, if my wife did I would, but I am not like in stripper shape. I am not fat either, but she has never expressed interest in that. I have, but mostly I just wear nice boxers, does that count. True, it does need to work both ways, give and take. I said that earlier and I agree that you get what you give. If you aren't you need to talk about it, plain and simple otherwise you get disgruntled.
For her Christmas Stocking? Sounds like a nice present for her. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! It's nice that you do things like that for her. Yes women like to be thought of just out of the blue. They don't like to have to ask or remind or it doesn't really mean the same. Women like to know that you are thinking of them and appreciate them with even small gestures. When I talk about getting all dressed up in a costume I didn't really mean for the Boudoir photo. I am just repeating what some men were saying on a show about what they would like their women to do for them. Dressing up in degrading outfits to please them seemed to be a popular one. If I find mine doing that, I will give him a big pat on the back for chipping in with household chores. I just don't understand that if a man takes out the garbage or does dishes he will get sexual favors in return. :bugeye: Why is he being rewarded for helping out around the house? Does the woman get rewarded each night with something because she cleaned the house, did the laundry and had dinner on the table?
Hey... I know you aren't directing your comments at me specifically and like always I agree with a lot of what you are saying Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I also need to be liquored up a bit, and I mean very little since I am a very cheap drunk. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I think you hit the nail on the head in saying that it is in our heads we won't be able to pull off the fantasy because we aren't playboy playmates or the images you see dressed up in costumes.
Shorty, And this is big part of it for men as well. It doesn't mean the same if we have to ask, we may offer hints but as you know sometimes they don't get picked up. I think men are much worse at getting those hints but in the end one has to have their heart in it. So is my wife, timing is very important, if she has had too much wine, which isn't much, there won't be much time before she is out. This is also what I was getting at with how we have grown to be adverse to opening ourselves up. It is hard to let go of everything that you were taught to hold onto. Self respect etc etc. The difficulty and trick to it is to realize that it is all in good fun and between two can add some energy to their sex life. Alcohol in many peoples case helps allow that, but it's a shame we weren't raised to be ok with it in general. I don't know if it's how we are raised or who we are or a combination. Yeah, and for women since there is that double standard, it must be really hard because no matter what you do the competition is ridiculous and never ending. The fear of rejection is a hurdle for sure. I think the key is to know or find out specifics of what they like and just put your toes in the water, but once you know that information you immediately have additional power and then it's just about letting it do the work. But I agree the hardest part of all of it is getting passed our brains. What do you suppose the IQ of the average male or female stripper is ? Maybe it's not IQ but something else they are missing that allows that type of freedom.
As I said, we sexagenarians are pretty candid in discussing sex with each other (we come by our name honestlyPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!). I've known people who were picking up one-night stands, dating, newlyweds, and people who were married for 20-30-40 years. They talk about three-ways and four-ways and all kinds of stuff. But no one's ever mentioned dressing up. Well, not straight people anyway. Today's journalism is not about things that happen every day (jour) but about the exceptions. I wonder how many of those guys ever actually got a woman to dress up for them--especially after talking about it to a couple of million people! Why is sex a reward? In a healthy relationship between two people of compatible age it should be something they both want. If a man regards his wife's lack of interest in sex as deliberate punishment for something he did or didn't do, he's missing the point. It's merely one expression of her disappointment for failing to hold up his end of the relationship. (Or anger if it's a pattern of failures.) As I noted on another thread, the male and female libido do not work the same way. A man can be aroused by someone he has negative feelings toward; a woman usually cannot. You'd be surprised. For obvious reasons they're usually young, and many of them are working their way through college. People have different thresholds of modesty. Back in the 1960s and 70s nude beaches and other venues were well attended by people you'd never have expected to see there. And it's not like it was okay because everybody was nude, there were always looky-loos hanging around. Men are famous for--well not exactly flashing, but just walking naked from the bathroom to the closet without bothering to notice that the drapes are open. Women are generally more modest but today there's a strong cultural impetus among young Americans toward things like having sex in public, so being a stripper is nothing compared to that.
