your last words and method of dying

Means of Death: In some sort of crazy medieval-style battle because of being part of such happy frolics into the dregs of human kind that I am old. (but still kicking butt) I shall slip on the blood of a felled opponent and fall out of my wheelchair to split my head on the stone floor, my sword still run through a poorly-washed miscreant.:D (evil grin)

Departing Joke: Well it's obvious, isn't it? Toothless giezer kills half an army with a sword before slipping on the blood of his enemies and dying!

Or a more likely death: Good 'ol Old Age!:)
 
means of dying

For Those of You Who Know Me:

I climb my dad's new 17 position ladder to cut out the ceiling with "true value interior flat latex-based paint". I feel an urge to randomly vomit, merely in an attempt to break the monotony. I lean over and begin to gag-my stomach spasming and my head lurching forward. In one final motion I release my lunch all over that fucking blue tarp.

Unfortunately, the story does not end here. While puking I accidently let my left foot slip, and a highly unprobable course of events commences. My left foot slips on to the release latch of the ladder (which is in position #6, sort of like an M). This latch, of course, is not at all effective until the other latch is also hit-which it is (damn right foot). The ladder promptly snaps together, crushing both legs and fracturing several ribs.

Oh no, it doesn't end here! I scream and flail around, hoping to alert a potential helper. I quickly realize that all my cries are in vain when I remember that my family went out for the day and left me alone to paint the biggest room in the house (this was a punishment for the shoddy work and slackerish behavior that I have displayed of late-no psyco-potato, I don't have a 4.0 in effort in housework-). While these cries fail to bring me assistance, they are succesful in bringing the ladder (and myself) to the floor, where a protruding paint roller (covered in Glidden Evermore interior eggshell paint: "blueberry mist") ends up in my mouth. This time I was luckey: my hands were free. I pull the roller from my mouth, but in the process I whack a recently painted headboard. This is a top heavy headboard and when I whack the legs it falls directly onto my head, crushing my skull and ending my misery.

DAMN I HATE PAINTING

Lindsey
 
It's just one of those days when you don't wanna wake up.
Everything is FUCKED! Everybody SUCKS!
You don't really know why, but you wanna justify...
Rippin' someone's head off!
No human contact. And if you interact,
Your life is on contract.
Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker.
IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip.
OR YOU'LL BE LEAVIN' WITH A FAT LIP!
It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit talkin' that shit.

It's just one of those days, feelin like a freight train.
First one to complain leaves with a bloodstain.
Damn right, I'm a mainiac, you better watch your back...
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program.
And then you're stuck up. You just lucked up,
Next in line to get fucked up.
Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker.
IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip.
OR YOU'LL BE LEAVIN' WITH A FAT LIP!
It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit talkin' that shit, punk.
SO COME AND GET IT!

I feel like shit...
My suggestion is to keep your distance,
Cuz right now I'm dangerous.
We've all felt like shit,
And been treated like shit.
All those motherfuckers that wanna step up.
I hope you know I pack a chainsaw.
I'll skin your ass raw.
And if my day keeps goin this way I just might...
Break something tonight.
I pack a chainsaw.
I'll skin your ass raw.
And if my day keeps goin this way I just might...
Break something tonight.
I pack a chainsaw.
I'll skin your ass raw.
And if my day keeps goin this way I just might...
BREAK YOUR FUCKIN' FACE TONIGHT!!!

GIMME SOMETHIN TO BREAK!!!
GIMME SOMETHIN TO BREAK!!!
JUST GIMME SOMETHIN TO BREAK!!!
HOW 'BOUT YOUR FUCKIN' FACE?!

I HOPE YOU KNOW I PACK A CHAINSAW! (What?!)
A CHAINSAW! (What?!)
A MOTHERFUCKIN' CHAINSAW (What?!)...

SO COME AND GET IT!

It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit lettin' shit slip.
OR YOU'LL BE LEAVIN WITH A FAT LIP!
It's all about the he says, she says bull shit.
I think you better quit talkin' that shit, punk.
SO COME AND GET IT!
 
You mean they "inhale vigorously.":D

Hey, Potato. Everything's been cool here. I work 7-9 in the morning and 3-5 in the afternoon so I pretty much have the whole middle of the day off. Not too shabby...:cool:
 
Lesion. That little Quote you have at the bottom of your post is awesome. I have heard it so many times, but it is still awesome.
 
When I die I want to be cremated, then have my ashes sprinkled from an airplane. When I pass, hopefully it will be a very quick death, not something from cancer or other slow painful death.
 
When I die I want to be cremated, then have my ashes sprinkled from an airplane. When I pass, hopefully it will be a very quick death, not something from cancer or other slow painful death.
sounds good to me, i want to be at least 50 before i go though.
 
Originally posted by Captain_Crunch

sounds good to me, i want to be at least 50 before i go though.

Oh yes, I don't want to die too young or be old and frail! Maybe up to 75 or so.
 
Method:
Carbon monoxide. After having read my favourite book. Listening to the theme from Romeo and Juliet A Rose May Bloom . Floating on my back in a pool of warm water. And staring at the vast magnificence of Space.
(I can almost feel the lapping of warm water against my skin...)

Last Words:
Hi Daddy. I missed you on Earth.

Final Joke:
I'd like to spraypaint the word Poop! in giant pink letters on the front of the White House. I dunno why, the word Poop always cracks me up every single time. :D


Poop! lol!! :D
 
:D @Latexlover! That's a good one!
How 'bout "Just call me the Poopinator", or "Let's take a ride in my Poop-mobile!"

"Who let the poop out?"

"I'm all pooped out" (It's so funny when people say that, heh heh)

lol!

If you say Poop too much, it starts to sound weird, eh?

(Another funny word: Pope!)

My friends and I also enjoy yelling "HITLER!!" (instead of the usual body part) at the top of our lungs too, just 'cause it's so fun! :D My favourite saying is, "Look! Hitler!" then stealing the last brownie and running away, hehehe! :D
 
We call Gordon Campbell, our Premier, Hitler. At the next protest we'll all chant "Seig Heil, Seig Heil!!!" maybe then maybe he'll get the hint. THen we'll through poop on him :D
 
Don't forget the infamous swaztika (is that how you spell it? :confused: ) and the "hand-on-chest-straightening-out-of-arm" salute! :D

The poop will be such a nice touch, eh? Good luck in your campaign! :)
 
I actually have swastika (or firecross in latvian) round my neck now:p
handmade by my friend from silver:cool:
 
Kewl!

--Avatar--
Cool! Do people get on your case though? Like if you were to wear it out onto the street, and some neo-Nazi sees you, would they take you in? Or if a Jewish person walks by, would he/she grab the nearest chair and starts beating you to death with it? (lol@mental image of old lady trying to lift a heavy chair) :D

I think they also have a sign similar to the swastika in Buddism too, only it's backwards. As if no one can recognize it, :rolleyes: :D It'd be so funny if a Buddhist wore it outside, then the sign flipped backwards and an angry mob started to beat them to death! :D Buddhist's last words: "What did I do to deserve this?!" lol! :D

--Latexlover--



HITLER! lol!! another good one my friend and I came up with is: hellomayihavesome HUEVOS?!! (huevos = egg or fried egg in spanish) And we'd say 'huevos' really loudly and the other part really softly. hehehe! :D
 
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