Your Acceptance Speech

Then when his Russki birth certificate was whipped out, an angry mob would doubtless beat him to death on the spot, unless sharp-reflexed Secret Service men saved him from that fate so he could be properly shot as a spy operating under orders from Vlad "The Impaler" Putin to infiltrate America and be elected president in order to bankrupt the nation undertaking massive lunatic space projects.

After this crisis was handled, I - your true and rightful president - would deal with the insidious menace of Russia by launching America's entire nuclear arsenal at this cesspool of evil, annihilating it utterly, and making the world forever safe for wee baby infants, cute little puppies, and big-breasted 'Merican broads with vigorous, healthy sex drives...

not nice.
 
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Like the song sez:

...Seems like desperate measures, but sometimes it's got to be done !
 
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