#rapeculture | #reality
Roller Disco has nothing to do with anything, and thus makes a fine distraction.
I cannot believe we are even having to have this discussion, to be honest.
In a certain way, I can.
We can't always put the names to it, but in the end these people will come through. That is to say, certain patterns seem nearly inevitable about their manifestation and the only real question is who will get around to playing which part when.
Over two months ago, I
traded words↗ with someone else about the ways sexual conduct discussions go, about a back and forth that terrifies certain political circles, and dropped the line about #TheWomenAreSpeaking. And it's one thing to say I expected the line would meet at least
some opposition in the world; to the other, it's all this time later, and I could go back to that post and start this discussion all over again, because for all the enraged howling retort we've encountered since, we wouldn't lose much, aside from a heap of demonstrative indignity and the knowledge that these would actually behave that way, to pile all that wasted rage on the rubbish tip.
(Well, okay, but there is a cesspool irony here: There are decent and even good posts going on in all this noise, but they wouldn't necessarily be coming about except for necessity; that is to say, there are people trying, but part of what is moving them is the state of things. I can think of a couple people I would at least be splitting hairs with, although about what remains a mystery for the sake of an impressively futile distraction. I might wonder where a particular spur of discussion might have gone but for the distraction itself. Mysterious potentials remain mysterious beyond their shelf life, but, still, there is the spectacle that is happening, so we'll get around to the other when and if we get to it, or something like that.)
It took about a day to be told I should
"focus on the men"↗, and, as I summarized, I
find inappropriate↗ such propositions that would set criteria for what women are allowed to say, what it needs to answer, and who they need to satisfy when they say it.
And that's the thing. We're right back where we were two months ago,
attacking↑ the
accusers↑.
And all that fucking rage they brought? Nothing.
It was for
nothing.
Two months later, we're right where they were back then, because they have precisely nothing to say.
And, you know, difficult discussions are as difficult discussions will, but the thought that
this is what people choose to waste their time on?
Because that's the thing: What a waste.
But we're right back to where we were a couple months ago, because we never really left that part behind.
Maybe I'm wrong; maybe it's not for nothing. The Franken advocacy wanted to start talking about his comeback before he was even gone. His supporters do him no favors by refusing to trust him. Especially if they believe him innocent, they ought to trust him to know what he's doing; even guilty, he's still pretty damn smart. Maybe the whole point of this months-long temper tantrum is to discredit Franken and his supporters. Because, really, if there is any sort of "comeback" in his political or celebrity future, any significant idea that his supporters have spent the intervening time attacking sexual harassment and assault victims will just be another thing for him to answer for.
And for some of the people wailing these last months, well, what have they accomplished? They've depicted Franken supporters as insane, and spent weeks shitmouthing women in this community; there are days when that might count as a pretty good run. To the other, we might wonder at the priorities, and, well, that these advocates should put such effort into saying nothing is actually the less damning possibility.
Two months ago? How about
two and a half years later↗?
Something goes here about flaccidity, impotence, television stereotypes about serial killers, and juxtaposition in metaphor. The attempted erasure of women's voices over the last two months is both striking and not. It can be breathtaking in realtime, but looking back, for some reason I'm not at all surprised we're back to questions of what counts as legitimate, doubting the accusers, and deciding how they should feel or, at the very least, how they should not.
Indeed, two months of nothing is the easier judgment compared to the idea that these people deliberately went out of their way to be worse than useless. But in the question of what feels striking or breathtaking or not, that's the thing; looking back, I'm not at all surprised. I mean, sure, maybe that this or that person dove quite so deep, but the record looks rather quite normal.
Of course we're back to delegitimization and what's wrong with the accusers.
Honestly, if we just accept that What Al Did doesn't count and neither does What Leann Said because she can't be legitimate, then of course the last two months of flaming misogyny makes perfect sense. When
actual rape culture↗ is the justification for one's argument, quite clearly they're on about different priorities.
So we might as well just lay it out: You're spoiling the fun. All these damn bitches are spoiling the fun, and their cuck snowflake male-traitor friends are helping them.
You're spoiling the fun. That is why they are so pissed off. It's just that nobody knows how to make the demand, because, for obvious reasons, it's a really, really stupid demand. It's kind of like the Tea & Crumpets Party, and kind of like looking over one's shoulder. It's not so much that they have or might someday need to hold some woman down and (
ahem!) legitimately rape her, but, rather, maybe they did or might in the future (
cough!) accidentally harass someone, and, damn it, you women need to compromise and stop being so absolutist, and recognize that a guy getting drunk and trying to forcibly kiss or grope her is just ... I mean ... what? Part of nature? No, lest we be back to questions of #NotAllMen, and despite functionally inventing a discipline to justify antisocial sexual behavior, that's just not cool with the people who need it to be true in order to have a point.
But, yeah, it seems to have something to do with women getting all uppity and forgetting her place.
Because that really fucks up the fun.
†
¿Heads or Tails? There is always a question of that disclaimer about how, y'know, not that I need to tell you, or anything like that, but sometimes it just needs to be said; it feels there is also an aspect of futility about even that. To the other, kind of like the old LACP bargain wasn't really one I should have been proposing for various reasons, neither am I the one to invoke questions and thresholds of compromise. Similarly, I don't get to make the rules about when racism is over and we can have certain words back; it seems fretting about the question is perpetuating the problem. There is something about the discourse of sexes that needs to happen, and it's not mine to tell "men" what it is, because it's not mine to define. I do, however, know, that this voice of masculinity we hear in these arguments is beyond terrified of that transition, because it also represents a transfer of power and a range unknown; if we do our part and achieve this abstract threshold, I can't actually describe how the discussion goes afterward.
We need to find this one for ourselves, and if one of the reasons it's not mine to sketch the thresholds has to do with obvious considerations of vested interest, the other has just as much to do with the danger of perpetuating the problem by mapping a ritual by which,
yeah, yeah, whatever, are you happy, now, okay, good, now #WhatAboutTheMen.
Something about totems goes here.