Why some friends make you feel more supported than others

wegs

wegs

Matter and Pixie Dust
Valued Senior Member
In answers to survey questions, participants suggested that they thought of their group of close friends or family as one entity. They also were more likely to see a closer-knit group as part of their own identities. Both of these factors were related to perceiving more support, results showed.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201007085609.htm

Do you feel more connected, understood, and emotionally supported by a ''network'' of friends or do you tend to have bonds with friends who don't know one another?
 
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wegs said:
Do you feel more connected, understood, and emotionally supported by a ''network'' of friends or do you tend to have bonds with friends who don't know one another?
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I have several groups of friends without too much overlap - college friends, skydiving friends, and work friends (from 2 jobs.) Oh, and some beer club friends. So the latter.
 
billvon said:
I have several groups of friends without too much overlap - college friends, skydiving friends, and work friends (from 2 jobs.) Oh, and some beer club friends. So the latter.
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I wonder if you had a “network” of friends who were also friends with one another, if you’d have something to compare it to, you know? I have both “sets” of friends and I hadn’t made the connection until reading the article. (The article applies to me, iow.)
 
wegs said:
I wonder if you had a “network” of friends who were also friends with one another, if you’d have something to compare it to, you know? I have both “sets” of friends and I hadn’t made the connection until reading the article. (The article applies to me, iow.)
Click to expand...
Yeah I have a few limited crossovers like that - skydivers who know my family and were at our wedding, work friends who are also skydivers etc - but those relationships are in the minority. It takes a little attention to switch how I speak with each set of friends (mainly to be appropriate with family and at work.)
 
wegs said:
In answers to survey questions, participants suggested that they thought of their group of close friends or family as one entity. They also were more likely to see a closer-knit group as part of their own identities. Both of these factors were related to perceiving more support, results showed.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201007085609.htm

Do you feel more connected, understood, and emotionally supported by a ''network'' of friends or do you tend to have bonds with friends who don't know one another?
Click to expand...
Due to my career - for lack of a better description of the better part of my time on this rock- my different groups of friends has for the most part been - transient..I guess.
As in this definition of transient : https://www.thefreedictionary.com/transient -
"1.Personnel, ships, or craft stopping temporarily at a post, station, or port to which they are not assigned or attached, and having destination elsewhere.
3.An individual awaiting orders, transport, etc., at a post or station to which he or she is not attached or assigned."
...if you allow me to Skew those definitions a little bit.
Transient, as in too many years in the Military/Government Contractor life(?)

I have a small group of friends that have continued from my childhood, school and pre-military...life?

Nearly all of the other 'groups' are, as I said...kind of transient.
Most of the different groups are loosely connected by Department or University or Bureaus, but rarely share very many actual individual personnel that remain year after year.

What really amazes me is that the Friends that have gone out of their way to keep in contact or actually visit me in hospital(off and on, in and out)for the last 15 years or so is really quite eclectic(?) as in originating from relationships from all different areas of my carrer/life...
To be honest, Wegs, most of my closest 'friends' now weren't the people that I ever thought would be close to me when first meeting/working or becoming associated with them!
If nothing else, life can be pleasantly surprising and quite enjoyable if we just allow friends to develop...naturally, maybe...
You know, without demanding that anyone must meet certain requirements or fit certain molds before we give them any opportunity to share in this wonderful continual Amusement Park-like- ride we call life.

Sometime, somewhere, someone said "It takes all kinds"...and I gotta pretty well fully concur wit dat!
Meh...I rattle on these days...

wegs said:
I wonder if you had a “network” of friends who were also friends with one another, if you’d have something to compare it to, you know? I have both “sets” of friends and I hadn’t made the connection until reading the article. (The article applies to me, iow.)
Click to expand...
Wegs, have you ever heard of any reference to a "Monkeysphere"?
chimps.jpg

Maybe do a duckduckgo.com search of Dr. Robin Dunbar Monkeysphere Theory.
In my estimation it touches upon what you broached in your OP, Wegs, and I honestly think that you will find it, at the very least, interesting...
 
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dumbest man on earth said:
Due to my career - for lack of a better description of the better part of my time on this rock- my different groups of friends has for the most part been - transient..I guess.
As in this definition of transient : https://www.thefreedictionary.com/transient -
"1.Personnel, ships, or craft stopping temporarily at a post, station, or port to which they are not assigned or attached, and having destination elsewhere.
3.An individual awaiting orders, transport, etc., at a post or station to which he or she is not attached or assigned."
...if you allow me to Skew those definitions a little bit.
Transient, as in too many years in the Military/Government Contractor life(?)

I have a small group of friends that have continued from my childhood, school and pre-military...life?

Nearly all of the other 'groups' are, as I said...kind of transient.
Most of the different groups are loosely connected by Department or University or Bureaus, but rarely share very many actual individual personnel that remain year after year.

What really amazes me is that the Friends that have gone out of their way to keep in contact or actually visit me in hospital(off and on, in and out)for the last 15 years or so is really quite eclectic(?) as in originating from relationships from all different areas of my carrer/life...
To be honest, Wegs, most of my closest 'friends' now weren't the people that I ever thought would be close to me when first meeting/working or becoming associated with them!
If nothing else, life can be pleasantly surprising and quite enjoyable if we just allow friends to develop...naturally, maybe...
You know, without demanding that anyone must meet certain requirements or fit certain molds before we give them any opportunity to share in this wonderful continual Amusement Park-like- ride we call life.

Sometime, somewhere, someone said "It takes all kinds"...and I gotta pretty well fully concur wit dat!
Meh...I rattle on these days...


Wegs, have you ever heard of any reference to a "Monkeysphere"?
chimps.jpg

Maybe do a duckduckgo.com search of Dr. Robin Dunbar Monkeysphere Theory.
In my estimation it touches upon what you broached in your OP, Wegs, and I honestly think that you will find it, at the very least, interesting...
Click to expand...
I think it's pretty common yes, to form friendships through our careers. So, you were in the military?
 
wegs said:
Interesting. The military seems like a tough career, like one needs a tough skin. lol Did you serve in combat?
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To the 1st, it's all relative, Wegs.
If livin' was easy, it wouldn't kill us all to do it, eh?

To the 2nd, Yes, Ma'am.
 
dumbest man on earth said:
To the 1st, it's all relative, Wegs.
If livin' was easy, it wouldn't kill us all to do it, eh?
Click to expand...
Too true. I suppose it’s all relative but my career doesn’t require me to make life or death decisions. Re: the OT - I would imagine such an experience creates a strong friendship bond.

To the 2nd, Yes, Ma'am.
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Thank you for your service, dmoe. :smile:
 
wegs said:
In answers to survey questions, participants suggested that they thought of their group of close friends or family as one entity. They also were more likely to see a closer-knit group as part of their own identities. Both of these factors were related to perceiving more support, results showed.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201007085609.htm

Do you feel more connected, understood, and emotionally supported by a ''network'' of friends or do you tend to have bonds with friends who don't know one another?
Click to expand...


I read a book more than thirty years ago that asserted that
1. focused attention
2. eye contact
3. physical contact

were the three things that parents could do to make their children and teenagers feel that they were loved.

I assume that these general principles even apply to adults as well....... to at least some degree.


https://www.amazon.ca/How-Really-Lo...lly, Dr.,finally show love through discipline.

Specifically, Dr. Campbell teaches that in order to love unconditionally, you must do four things: Show love through eye contact, show love through physical attention, show love through focused attention, and finally show love through discipline.
Click to expand...


515Vjib+vvL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
 
Dennis Tate said:
I read a book more than thirty years ago that asserted that
1. focused attention
2. eye contact
3. physical contact

were the three things that parents could do to make their children and teenagers feel that they were loved.
Click to expand...
Nonsense.

My kids don't feel loved, despite getting ample focused attention, eye contact and physical contact while I was paddling their asses with a wooden spoon.
 
I should keep a journal of how many of my threads have derailed from the original topic. :oops:
 
wegs said:
In answers to survey questions, participants suggested that they thought of their group of close friends or family as one entity. They also were more likely to see a closer-knit group as part of their own identities. Both of these factors were related to perceiving more support, results showed.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201007085609.htm

Do you feel more connected, understood, and emotionally supported by a ''network'' of friends or do you tend to have bonds with friends who don't know one another?
Click to expand...

I personally feel even more connected to my online friends in some important ways than even to my own close friends and family.

Online I can find people with quite similar interests to my own..... but I make little effort to get my family to share my specific interests, such as near death experience accounts or economics.

My wife did agree to take several online courses by the near death experiencer that I take courses by and she really did enjoy them so I think that this was a rather impressive new level of connection for us.

I make an effort to attend whatever church my wife or daughter enjoys so I am attempting to help them to feel supported by my own actions.

wegs said:
I should keep a journal of how many of my threads have derailed from the original topic. :oops:
Click to expand...

Was this reply somewhat more so in line with what you are looking for here?
 
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