Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a people whose gross national product were themselves.
These people were truly gross, with a Rosacea of self-importance eating its way through the acne, leaving a face so encrusted with rash one could barely see the specter of hate sneering past all the goo.
They also suffered a Tourette’s of fevered opinion on everything from Israel to rubber to glue to how many licks would it take to make a Republican vote blue, that they blurted even in sleep their cherished opinions so as to relive the aural sex of hearing their own voice.
Ahhh, how these peasants would drop drunk on that most rarest of whines, a fermented arrogance 3 parts alcohol and 97 parts One’s Own Voice, known in this happy land as the drink Pinot Noise.
Thus, seeing all this hypocrisy, the moral bigotry, the insolence and lies, the Goddess Baubo grew weary of her own prized creations: Forums and Man.
“Fuck”, thought Baubo. “I’ve created a monster,” and this mischievous god with the heart of a sadist who brought us the platypus, cancer, and Benin, blew on her golden conch a summons to the demiurge named Gendanken.
“Gendanken,” she said. “I have a mission for you. I’ve grown tired and angry with this creature called man. I made a mistake of forgetting to laugh at eternity and took life too seriously to please, the results of which is that insolent primate you see down there on a computer. He grows fat on opinions he’s formed in the few years in which his gut churns his ego to a sausage of shit, and behold! how he mistreats fellow primates, behold that insulting pride of enlightened meat. “
Gendanken took all this in with the fear of Jonah scratching the days on the flesh of a whale’s anus.
“What do you wish me to do?” said a timid Gendanken.
“I wish for you to go down among them, observe their ways, live among them as equals and report to me everything that you see. I need you to report a final analysis of man’s worth. On your word, Gendanken, will I decide to destroy or preserve the creature called Man.”
And so Gendanken flew down to live among men, traveling the cobbled path of his cognitive dissonance, the battered roads of his Mind, settling among a group of mercenaries in a tiny forum called Sciforums.
The Sciforians were a pretentious bunch, where the women cackled like chickens laying eggs we call ‘men’. Sciforians, she noted, were little more than mouthy livestock with anti-Semitic ‘hate speech’ on lock down.
They mooed, clucked, they snorted, they lol’ed, lied, and cheated, a general farm noise from which Gendanken did culture much hate.
So they invited Gendanken into their humble threads and she ate at their philosophical hearths.
Oh, how Gendanken's heart grew cold and brittle at the village priest called Maury the Seven, an idiot with a face like a spaniel who was so humble he wore fishnet stockings under the Cossack.
This was a god-fearing man who displayed piety and self-respect in terms of flashing his rectum to the choir, and so Gendanken decided man should perhaps be destroyed on account of this ass whoring boob.
She then met the philosophers, ravaging each other’s footnotes and deconstructed manure, and the so called scientists flapping their lips on facts they read from amateurs written for amateurs; she met dreamers a pill away from anxiety, and poets who lied through the teeth of an adverb.
And last but not least, she met the bigot bigots, those pseudo-progressives forever in fear of that Evil Worm Racism reminding them of its presence wriggling around in their soul.
So, a period away from signing over both Man and Forum to their fate of impending doom, Gendanken so happened to look in the window of Maury the Seven's humble old hut.
She found that Maury could love his own the way he did himself; that he was funny, caring, angry, that he was confused but chose to cope with the riddle of existence despite the challenge of figuring the world out on one’s own.
Gendanken then turned her eye to the philosophers, and found them just as funny, caring and confused as the physicists and the dreamers, that they were all capable of feeling joy in the cold void of a universe indifferent to their attempts at solving its nonsense, a people who chose to bear the weight of existence with mirth and a futility called Intelligence.
Gendanken, in short, discovered that Man embraced life.
Gendanken, in short, discovered she could not wish them destroyed.
Not knowing what to do with this knowledge, that Baubo’s creation was made only possible by the gorgeous nuance of multiplicity she created in Man--a diversity of abundance the best forums reflect--Gendanken decided to shred her report and instead collected all the metals and stones in the world: lead, zinc, nickel, iron, gold, silver, copper, rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, gravel, coal, chalk and granite.
And from this mongrel diversity of precious and base, she cast from a mixture of mud and the rarest elixir a most beautiful statue studded with diamonds and gravel.
Gendanken then flew back up to Baubo and handed the waiting Goddess the statue she made and asked her in plain terms ” Would you destroy such a statue?”
And Baubo, her sharp tongue for once blunted by the beauty that is Surprise and the rare moment, only wept that she ever wished to destroy both forums and man.
That a statue like that should be destroyed on account of gold being mixed with the cheapest of coal would be an ignorance of nothingness and stagnation leading to a death of art and the soul.
This is what little Gendanken taught Baubo and why forums—or any such congress where men gather to share and learn who they are-- should not be destroyed by expelling the chalk for the gold.
Doing so is a little death of destroying its art and its soul.
These people were truly gross, with a Rosacea of self-importance eating its way through the acne, leaving a face so encrusted with rash one could barely see the specter of hate sneering past all the goo.
They also suffered a Tourette’s of fevered opinion on everything from Israel to rubber to glue to how many licks would it take to make a Republican vote blue, that they blurted even in sleep their cherished opinions so as to relive the aural sex of hearing their own voice.
Ahhh, how these peasants would drop drunk on that most rarest of whines, a fermented arrogance 3 parts alcohol and 97 parts One’s Own Voice, known in this happy land as the drink Pinot Noise.
Thus, seeing all this hypocrisy, the moral bigotry, the insolence and lies, the Goddess Baubo grew weary of her own prized creations: Forums and Man.
“Fuck”, thought Baubo. “I’ve created a monster,” and this mischievous god with the heart of a sadist who brought us the platypus, cancer, and Benin, blew on her golden conch a summons to the demiurge named Gendanken.
“Gendanken,” she said. “I have a mission for you. I’ve grown tired and angry with this creature called man. I made a mistake of forgetting to laugh at eternity and took life too seriously to please, the results of which is that insolent primate you see down there on a computer. He grows fat on opinions he’s formed in the few years in which his gut churns his ego to a sausage of shit, and behold! how he mistreats fellow primates, behold that insulting pride of enlightened meat. “
Gendanken took all this in with the fear of Jonah scratching the days on the flesh of a whale’s anus.
“What do you wish me to do?” said a timid Gendanken.
“I wish for you to go down among them, observe their ways, live among them as equals and report to me everything that you see. I need you to report a final analysis of man’s worth. On your word, Gendanken, will I decide to destroy or preserve the creature called Man.”
And so Gendanken flew down to live among men, traveling the cobbled path of his cognitive dissonance, the battered roads of his Mind, settling among a group of mercenaries in a tiny forum called Sciforums.
The Sciforians were a pretentious bunch, where the women cackled like chickens laying eggs we call ‘men’. Sciforians, she noted, were little more than mouthy livestock with anti-Semitic ‘hate speech’ on lock down.
They mooed, clucked, they snorted, they lol’ed, lied, and cheated, a general farm noise from which Gendanken did culture much hate.
So they invited Gendanken into their humble threads and she ate at their philosophical hearths.
Oh, how Gendanken's heart grew cold and brittle at the village priest called Maury the Seven, an idiot with a face like a spaniel who was so humble he wore fishnet stockings under the Cossack.
This was a god-fearing man who displayed piety and self-respect in terms of flashing his rectum to the choir, and so Gendanken decided man should perhaps be destroyed on account of this ass whoring boob.
She then met the philosophers, ravaging each other’s footnotes and deconstructed manure, and the so called scientists flapping their lips on facts they read from amateurs written for amateurs; she met dreamers a pill away from anxiety, and poets who lied through the teeth of an adverb.
And last but not least, she met the bigot bigots, those pseudo-progressives forever in fear of that Evil Worm Racism reminding them of its presence wriggling around in their soul.
So, a period away from signing over both Man and Forum to their fate of impending doom, Gendanken so happened to look in the window of Maury the Seven's humble old hut.
She found that Maury could love his own the way he did himself; that he was funny, caring, angry, that he was confused but chose to cope with the riddle of existence despite the challenge of figuring the world out on one’s own.
Gendanken then turned her eye to the philosophers, and found them just as funny, caring and confused as the physicists and the dreamers, that they were all capable of feeling joy in the cold void of a universe indifferent to their attempts at solving its nonsense, a people who chose to bear the weight of existence with mirth and a futility called Intelligence.
Gendanken, in short, discovered that Man embraced life.
Gendanken, in short, discovered she could not wish them destroyed.
Not knowing what to do with this knowledge, that Baubo’s creation was made only possible by the gorgeous nuance of multiplicity she created in Man--a diversity of abundance the best forums reflect--Gendanken decided to shred her report and instead collected all the metals and stones in the world: lead, zinc, nickel, iron, gold, silver, copper, rubies, diamonds, sapphires, emeralds, gravel, coal, chalk and granite.
And from this mongrel diversity of precious and base, she cast from a mixture of mud and the rarest elixir a most beautiful statue studded with diamonds and gravel.
Gendanken then flew back up to Baubo and handed the waiting Goddess the statue she made and asked her in plain terms ” Would you destroy such a statue?”
And Baubo, her sharp tongue for once blunted by the beauty that is Surprise and the rare moment, only wept that she ever wished to destroy both forums and man.
That a statue like that should be destroyed on account of gold being mixed with the cheapest of coal would be an ignorance of nothingness and stagnation leading to a death of art and the soul.
This is what little Gendanken taught Baubo and why forums—or any such congress where men gather to share and learn who they are-- should not be destroyed by expelling the chalk for the gold.
Doing so is a little death of destroying its art and its soul.
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