when im about to make love to a woman..

path said:
That's funny but your old girlfirend told me that when she commanded you to "Give me 9 inches and make it hurt" you fucked her 3 times then punched her in the face.
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I laughed out loud at work several times today thinking of this joke after reading it this morning. A classic.
 
Vlad said:
Yeah well I wouldnt let you ride the train anyway. the last time a saw a tunnel like yours I was driving from England to France.
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I'm devastated Vlad. Really.

And while the only tunnel you have ever seen and will probably ever see, aside from your mother's birth canal, is the inside of the England to France tunnel, you really shouldn't fret. You may one day even get to actually have sex with a woman. She may be dead at the time, but you never know. And who knows, one day a woman may be desperate enough take your money and sleep with you. Just don't hold your breath for a live one though.;)
 
I showed this thread to my girlfriend we got a good laugh for hours, and I am sure we will laugh some more about it.

if you ever wanna have sex try foreplay it works awhole lot better. lmao
 
Repo Man said:
I laughed out loud at work several times today thinking of this joke after reading it this morning. A classic.
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Glad I could make you laugh :D Do you remember that one? I think we are about the same vintage you and I.
 
pixel said:
I still think the train thing can really work. You can try putting up special posters around busy commuter areas to make a little cash for your exertions -- "Ride all day for $5", that kind of thing.

I can see it now.

"Hello? I'm calling about the ride-all-day-for-free deal?"

"K, but it's not exactly ALL day. You'd have to leave by the time my Mom gets home, Sir."
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Ahhh this reminds me of the good old days!! hehe!
:D
 
Vlad - I don't think the train noises alone would prove to be a turn on. Perhaps you should incorporate a uniform as well?
 
"Pain Train"- stirring.

I honestly don't see how one can enjoy any form of pleasure without pain.
Would you rather drink kool-aid straight or spike it with Vodka?

Any man caressing his way to the pussy is a fucking pussy.
 
Any pussy who needs to dilute there Vodka with kool-aid shouldn't be drinking.

Grow some fucking balls, Gendy.
 
&*^*&^&^:
Any pussy who needs to dilute there Vodka with kool-aid shouldn't be drinking.

Grow some fucking balls, Gendy.
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And any mook with a mullet has no right telling his betters to grow balls.
You're pussier than mine.

Something I've noticed- its always the midgets callling me Gendy.
 
Hey Vlad

Do you place a gun to her head when she asks you what precautions you're taking?
 
salann said:
Vlad - I don't think the train noises alone would prove to be a turn on. Perhaps you should incorporate a uniform as well?
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Ive never really though about going that elaborate. I guess I could do though. You've got me thinking. ..maybe I could make it a whole production. hen I pull a chick home from the club, Ill bring her to my room and turn out all the lights. In the dark ill put on my uniform and rig up a stereo, then ill turn on the lights (just to dim), play a dance number with pain train lyrics, and strip to it. I can just envision the little gyration I might to when the "choo choo choo" lyrics come in the chorus
 
I, as a charming man, prefer the line: "Grab your ankles, dear, and try not to bleed on the rug too much..."

(They can't usually answer as they're bound and gagged. Or three years old.)

Charmed...
 
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