What is this thing called love?

S.A.M. said:
Its all of the above and more. The difference being, you recognise and relish it even while you kick yourself soundly. IOW, you willingly make a complete fool of yourself. Thats how you know its love :p
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Love means to learn to look at yourself
The way one looks at distant things
For you are only one thing among many.
And whoever sees that way heals his heart,
Without knowing it, from various ills—
- Czeslaw Milosz
 
While I used the Bible to define love for the OP, my personal favourite is Gibran's take on it.

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.


This is my favourite sentence:


Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
 
S.A.M. said:
Its also a difficult emotion to live with, if someone loves you like that and you realise you can take advantage of it or take them for granted or if you don't reciprocate. There is nothing more burdensome than being loved unconditionally by someone you don't love or want to get away from. It can be soul destroying.

Its also difficult loving someone like that when they don't love you. Its hard to realise you're not loved the same way or being taken advantage of and feel helpless about the situation because you cannot help yourself. Or because its too painful when you do make the rational choice. Doesn't change the love mind you, its just a choice you make for self preservation.
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I beg to differ. It is soul destroying and a lifetime is not enough to allow you to recover from it.
 
onemoment said:
What is this thing called love?
Is it romantic notions of belonging?
Or is it belonging?

Is there a difference between the notion and the being in belonging?

Can’t love only be there when we are there, with senses wide open?
And can there be, there, true love without there being thought of love?
Surely yes!

Love does not need thought there to exist, it is there without thought,
And then thoughts arise on that.

Belonging – love – is what love is, and it cannot be romantic,
That belonging we feel when we feel love, that is what is always there.
And it is romantic notions, thoughts, about love or work or a me, that take us away from our true love.
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the first ingredient for love is that there must be a lover and a beloved ... which makes it highly likely that there is an element of thought involved ....
 
Bells said:
I beg to differ. It is soul destroying and a lifetime is not enough to allow you to recover from it.
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You may not recover fully from it. But you can find love again and that eases the wounds [although its dang confusing when you realise it]
 
S.A.M. said:
You may not recover fully from it. But you can find love again and that eases the wounds [although its dang confusing when you realise it]
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The shadow of it remains.

The absolute worst is when you love someone and they love you and there is nothing you can do about it. If you want soul destroying, that is it.
 
Bells said:
The shadow of it remains.

The absolute worst is when you love someone and they love you and there is nothing you can do about it. If you want soul destroying, that is it.
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Sometimes its just not the right time or place even if its the right person. :shrug:
 
S.A.M. said:
Sometimes its just not the right time or place even if its the right person. :shrug:
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Indeed.

Ships passing in the night and what not.

So you move on and meet someone else and try to ignore and forget it all. Ignorance is bliss as they say.
 
lightgigantic: the first ingredient for love is that there must be a lover and a beloved ... which makes it highly likely that there is an element of thought involved ....
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Hi lightgigantic, good to hear your thoughts.

Most definitely there is thought involved in this romantic love, but that feeling, it is just there, and we give the power and feeling of it to this other. What I am suggesting is that it is not dependent on this other, it is just this freedom from 'logical' thought that allows us to transcend our usual doldrums and distrust of life to feel what is always and ever there. But truly, it is ours, it belongs to us. And in that, there is no ‘me’, there is no other, there is only a sense of child like belonging to the whole – a freedom from what I must be, what I must say or not say.

So really, there need not be an other. It is what is. Could I be right? Is that your experience of love?
 
onemoment said:
Hi lightgigantic, good to hear your thoughts.

Most definitely there is thought involved in this romantic love, but that feeling, it is just there, and we give the power and feeling of it to this other. What I am suggesting is that it is not dependent on this other, it is just this freedom from 'logical' thought that allows us to transcend our usual doldrums and distrust of life to feel what is always and ever there. But truly, it is ours, it belongs to us. And in that, there is no ‘me’, there is no other, there is only a sense of child like belonging to the whole – a freedom from what I must be, what I must say or not say.
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not clear how a child like sense of belonging exists without a "child", per se.
Much less how something can belong to "us" and be "ours" when there are no "me's" or "I's".

So really, there need not be an other. It is what is. Could I be right? Is that your experience of love?
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not at all.
My experience of love begins with there being "me" and an "object of love". If either of those two ingredients are missing, there is no love. Even a successful narcissist requires, at the bare minimum, a "me".
 
lightgigantic said:
Even a successful narcissist requires, at the bare minimum, a "me".
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And a reflection of this 'me'.

narcissus.jpg


Without a mirror, there can be no naricissist.
 
Ah love

a fine blade drawn across flesh
letting blood
chance to taste it
or leave it drip unsavoured
a scar regardless
once cut has healed
scab or tissue
either way
it's over
 
It is easier to hate others rather than love them because love takes a lifetime of trust, devotion and kindness but hate can be given with a stone to the head.
 
sniffy said:
Ah love

a fine blade drawn across flesh
letting blood
chance to taste it
or leave it drip unsavoured
a scar regardless
once cut has healed
scab or tissue
either way
it's over
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:worship:
 
sniffy said:
Ah love

a fine blade drawn across flesh
letting blood
chance to taste it
or leave it drip unsavoured
a scar regardless
once cut has healed
scab or tissue
either way
it's over
Click to expand...

Thats good, is it one of yours?
 
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