What is this thing called love?

[draqon]

I suspect that speculating on love is like penguins speculating on nuclear physic. Don't worry about it.

penguins do not speculate on nuclear physics. sweetheart.

 

[Oli]

Really?
Shows how much you know.
The penguins that go to my pub talk about little else.
Unless there's a football match on TV.

 

[onemoment]

Talkandjive: I suspect that speculating on love is like penguins speculating on nuclear physic. Don't worry about it.

Speculating penguins, now there’s an interesting speculation! Does that apply to speculations about anything or just about love?

Strangely, and from another angle, I can only agree. What is speculation but mere words? And can words ever capture that sense of being, of belonging, and dare I say, of love? Are they not one and the same?

And further, does it mean that speculation must be ‘worry’ when you say ‘Don’t worry about it’? Do the speculating pub penguins worry as they speculate? I know I don’t. Are you saying it is beyond our comprehension? I would kind of agree if is the 'love' you are talking about.

Do penguins know more about football than love? Knowing stuff, that’s not what I am talking about. Even penguins know the love I am talking about - just spontaneous feeling being. Just belonging with no sense of a ‘me’ being there, like a child at play.

 

[Oli]

Speculating penguins, now there’s an interesting speculation!

No need to speculate, I'll ask next time I'm in the pub.

Does that apply to speculations about anything or just about love?

We'd have to think about that.

Strangely, and from another angle, I can only agree. What is speculation but mere words?

"Blah wiggle trombone" is mere words: but it isn't speculation.

And can words ever capture that sense of being, of belonging, and dare I say, of love? Are they not one and the same?

A sense of being is not love, neither is sense of belonging.

And further, does it mean that speculation must be ‘worry’ when you say ‘Don’t worry about it’?

Didja ever wonder why there's two words?
One for each: speculate/ worry.

Do the speculating pub penguins worry as they speculate? I know I don’t.

No they don't, except for the usual stuff: have I missed the last bus, did I leave the iceberg in the parking lit or on the street? That sort of thing.

Are you saying it is beyond our comprehension? I would kind of agree if is the 'love' you are talking about.

Comprehension?
We experience it.
Is that not enough?

Do penguins know more about football than love?

Not all pengins are footy fans.

Knowing stuff, that’s not what I am talking about. Even penguins know the love I am talking about - just spontaneous feeling being. Just belonging with no sense of a ‘me’ being there, like a child at play.

It's not the same for penguins, they have the same feeling with regard to their breakfast cornflakes as they do toward their partners.

 

[S.A.M.]

This is a good explanation:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

But that kind of love is rare and usually not appreciated until it is lost.

 

[Oli]

Hmmm, and how does that define love?
As distinguished from, say, the actual person we'd all like to be?
(Excuse the wishy washy touchy-feely tone of the post, I'm mellow tonight).

 

[S.A.M.]

Not the person we'd all like to be, but the person who loves or is loved like that.

Everyone should feel that kind of love at least once in their lifetime.

And everyone should be loved like that by at least one person.

Its a gift like no other.

 

[Oli]

Not the person we'd all like to be, but the person who loves or is loved like that.

You don't think that's a good description of, say, the way you'd like to be thought of?
Is it not a good set of aspirational goals for any human?

Everyone should feel that kind of love at least once in their lifetime.
And everyone should be loved like that by at least one person.
Its a gift like no other.

Yeah, except some of us miss out on Christmas as well...

 

[S.A.M.]

You don't think that's a good description of, say, the way you'd like to be thought of?
Is it not a good set of aspirational goals for any human?

You can't be like that. At least I can't. Even the thought of being like that all the time is incredibly painful. But you can feel like that about someone and have absolutely no control over it. Where you love them not because of what they say or do, but because of who they are.

Its also a difficult emotion to live with, if someone loves you like that and you realise you can take advantage of it or take them for granted or if you don't reciprocate. There is nothing more burdensome than being loved unconditionally by someone you don't love or want to get away from. It can be soul destroying.

Its also difficult loving someone like that when they don't love you. Its hard to realise you're not loved the same way or being taken advantage of and feel helpless about the situation because you cannot help yourself. Or because its too painful when you do make the rational choice. Doesn't change the love mind you, its just a choice you make for self preservation.

Yeah, except some of us miss out on Christmas as well...

True.

 

[wynn]

You can't be like that. At least I can't. Even the thought of being like that all the time is incredibly painful. But you can feel like that about someone and have absolutely no control over it. Where you love them not because of what they say or do, but because of who they are.

Because of who they are?
What do you mean by that?

Its also a difficult emotion to live with, if someone loves you like that and you realise you can take advantage of it or take them for granted or if you don't reciprocate. There is nothing more burdensome than being loved unconditionally by someone you don't love or want to get away from. It can be soul destroying.

So atheists feel the burden of God's love, and since they don't love God, it destroys their souls?

Its also difficult loving someone like that when they don't love you. Its hard to realise you're not loved the same way or being taken advantage of and feel helpless about the situation because you cannot help yourself. Or because its too painful when you do make the rational choice. Doesn't change the love mind you, its just a choice you make for self preservation.

Which is why in the usual Christian version, God behaves like an angsty teenager?

Makes sense.

 

[S.A.M.]

Because of who they are?
What do you mean by that?

There is no rational explanation for it [perhaps there is a biological one?] You love people inspite of what they say or do. Its an emotional reaction. Its gives them the power to hurt or destroy you and they may or may not use it.

So atheists feel the burden of God's love, and since they don't love God, it destroys their souls?
Which is why in the usual Christian version, God behaves like an angsty teenager?

Makes sense.

????

 

[Oli]

You can't be like that.

Ah, I can't do it so I won't aspire to it?
Can you not?
Don't you know anyone who fits a number of those, or different people who fit a number, but different ones?

At least I can't. Even the thought of being like that all the time is incredibly painful.

Bah, pfft.
Some people get closer than others ever will.

There is nothing more burdensome than being loved unconditionally by someone you don't love or want to get away from. It can be soul destroying.

Hmmm...

And everyone should be loved like that by at least one person.
Its a gift like no other.

Remind me never to open birthday pressies from you Saiyyadati.

Its also difficult loving someone like that when they don't love you.

Difficult?
I thought it was the English that were supposed to be good at understatement.
:worship:

Because of who they are?
What do you mean by that?

So explain why you love someone?
It's because of who they are (excluding all those bloody chemicals swilling round uncontrolled of course).

So atheists feel the burden of God's love, and since they don't love God, it destroys their souls?

Awesome!!!
Oh, I love that.
Forget the whole atheist/ theist thing: it's just the concept that makes me laugh out loud.

 

[wynn]

There is no rational explanation for it [perhaps there is a biological one?] You love people inspite of what they say or do. Its an emotional reaction. Its gives them the power to hurt or destroy you and they may or may not use it.

Well, I can't relate to that.

What you describe above, I would call 'sentimentality', 'infatuation', 'lust', 'foolishness', 'being in illusion'.

????

You are not familiar with the notion of God's love for living beings?

 

[S.A.M.]

Ah, I can't do it so I won't aspire to it?
Can you not?
Don't you know anyone who fits a number of those, or different people who fit a number, but different ones?

Sure I do. But it takes as much out of you as it gives and its not something you can turn on or off, so it would be really hard to be permanently in that sort of position.

But retrospectively speaking, its not something you wish away.

Bah, pfft.
Some people get closer than others ever will.

The ones who don't probably live in blissful ignorance.

Hmmm...

Remind me never to open birthday pressies from you Saiyyadati.

I must be especialy doh! today. I miss the point you make.

 

[lightgigantic]

Doesn't it?
"Love" is a chemical imbalance.

You don't happen to be in love with your pharmacist, perchance?

 

[Oli]

You don't happen to be in love with your pharmacist, perchance?

Oh you're so funny.
Where's my big stick for beating people...?

 

[Oli]

Sure I do. But it takes as much out of you as it gives and its not something you can turn on or off, so it would be really hard to be permanently in that sort of position.

Hmm okay.
I think.

Maybe a topic for another thread.

I must be especialy doh! today. I miss the point you make.

On one hand you stated that having someone love you that way is burden and soul destroying, and on the other you said that everyone should have some one love them that way.
X is bad: everyone should try X. :shrug:

 

[S.A.M.]

Well, I can't relate to that.

What you describe above, I would call 'sentimentality', 'infatuation', 'lust', 'foolishness', 'being in illusion'.

Its all of the above and more. The difference being, you recognise and relish it even while you kick yourself soundly. IOW, you willingly make a complete fool of yourself. Thats how you know its love

You are not familiar with the notion of God's love for living beings?

Ah, bhakti. I don't think the OP was referring to divine love. I am more qualified to discuss the carnal variety.

 

[S.A.M.]

Hmm okay.
I think.

Maybe a topic for another thread.

:shrug:

On one hand you stated that having someone love you that way is burden and soul destroying, and on the other you said that everyone should have some one love them that way.
X is bad: everyone should try X. :shrug:

Its not an experience to be missed. Does it have to be a good experience to appreciate it?

 

[Diode-Man]

Could it 'love' be that sense of belonging? And if so, what is this sense?

Whenever I've come close to "falling in love," any random "friend" of mine always tends to come and ruin everything with thievery.

I can think of 3 instances of this happening.

I've never stolen a girlfriend from a friend. Damn them all to hell.