Human societies are far too large to function with any degree of efficiency. Humans work best with people they know personally ...and humans can know personally only about 50 people.
As a pack-social species that is certainly our instinct. Max would know these things because he's so nostalgic for the Stone Age, when we actually lived that way.
Nonetheless our uniquely massive forebrains give us the ability to override instinctive behavior with reasoned and learned behavior. We've been doing that steadily for about eleven thousand years. In that time only a minority of people have voted against joining civilization. Their children often flip them the bird as they sneak off to the nearest city.
Beyond that, the society becomes. . . . constraining. . . .
If we have an instinct to distrust anyone outside our circle of fifty, indeed to kill him because he's a competitor for the scarce resources of our hunting and gathering territory, we need a way to constrain our instinctive behavior. Most of us do it easily by simply growing up
learning how prosperous, comfortable, easy and fun life is when we let civilization's economies of scale and division of labor produce a fabulous surplus, and
reasoning that all of this is worth denying our inner caveman his right to kill all strangers. Even if most of this is done unconsciously.
We constrain ourselves so it must be more or less voluntary.
. . . . dictatorial. . . .
We can always depend on Max to pull up the worst cases and present them as the norm. In fact it's Mesolithic societies that were/are dictatorial. The Patriarch is the absolute commander of all activities and the only way to stop him is to kill him, which violates our instinct to trust and care for members of the pack. This authority structure was even carried forward into the Neolithic Era. The Village Elders were pretty difficult to argue with.
It's only very recent versions of civilization that have experimented with democracy, or even with the earlier concept of the commonfolk having any semblance of rights. Abraham's Ten Commandments, a basic set of rules for maintaining civilization that even Patriarchs, Village Elders and Kings are obliged to respect, only go back four thousand years.
Well ya got me there. There's been an alarming trend toward creating ever-larger nation-states with "one size fits all" micro-rules that require a huge bureaucracy to administer. But the EU is an encouraging counterexample. It's apparently possible for a hegemony to maintain peace, establish standards for commerce and release controls on internal migration, while still allowing its component communities to live by their own customs. Perhaps we'll see more of that in the Post-Industrial Era. Or perhaps the EU's way will prove to be the best way and the rest of us will simply have to petition to join it.
And humans hate being constrained. . . .
True. Which is a good reason for a libertarian society in which the rules are the bare minimum necessary to ensure the maintenance and advancement of civilization. Rules against the initiation of force and fraud are the cornerstone of civilization. To that extent we constrain ourselves by mutual consent so we must not mind it if it only goes that far.
But to allow one set of citizens to enact rules preventing a smaller set of citizens from doing what they think is right, even though it causes no direct harm to others, is nothing more than the horror of majoritarianism. Indirect harm can be handled imperfectly but adequately by the tort system and civil courts. People who can't sleep at night because somebody somewhere is having a good time doing something they don't approve of... well they should take stronger sleeping pills. The U.S. is certainly going through a Nanny-State period in which the elite get to tell us all what to do, but all I can say is that America is famous for its pendulum politics and we'd better duck when that pendulum swings back the other way.
. . . .and dictated to. . . .
To the extent that our inner caveman resists any constraints on his urge to rape and pillage, well we can't let that go unstifled or there won't be any civilization. As I said, most people seem willing to make that minimal tradeoff of instinctive behavior for learned and reasoned behavior, so it's consensual, not dictatorial.
But if we're being forced to do things that we actually believe are wrong, then either our educational system is failing to enlighten us as to how they are really right, or the government has too much power. In a democracy we're supposed to have the ability to fix both of those problems, albeit slowly to avoid the violence of revolution. If most people are satisfied with the pace of change, then I don't know how we can make it any better for the ones who are not. There's no more frontier where they can go back and live in the Stone Age, and I have sincerely bemoaned that loss in a number of posts.
Our ancestors obliterated a number of societies that were still Neolithic (farmers) or even Mesolithic (hunter-gatherers). If they were still around, our malcontents could go live among them.