The thing about lies, Magical Realist, is that they refer to these things we call facts.That is not a lie because I really do believe it to be true.
A person lies when he is aware of relevant facts but nevertheless claims that (a) the facts aren't true or (b) he is unaware of the facts.
Thus, the matter of whether somebody is lying can be determined objectively. We need only to ascertain that the liar was aware of the true state of affairs and that he invented a falsehood to refute or deny those facts.
Trying to excuse yourself on the basis that you really believe your own lies won't cut the mustard, I'm afraid. Try to avoid that in future.