We all love these. Feel free to add your own! Here are some to get you started: The character searching a scary location, knowing that something bad might jump out at him/her at any moment is scared when something jumps out. But it's only a cat. Then, a minute or two later, once s/he has relaxed, the monster s/he was worried about in the first place jumps out at him/her. Evil villain is captured and put into a glass-walled prison by the good guys. He is guaranteed to escape, unless it's right at the end of the movie. "I promise that I'll explain everything later. But right now, you just have to trust me, no matter how irrational my behavior seems!" "Hand in your gun and your badge, detective. You're off the case!" This always means that the detective will investigate the case even more tenaciously, and catch the bad guy that nobody else has been able to catch. The detective's insubordination will be overlooked in the end because he caught the bad guy. All time bombs have handy, lit-up digital countdown displays, even when they are inside a container of some kind. All bombs have multi-coloured wires so that the right one that the hero needs to cut can be easily identified. No bomb that needs defusing ever has a whole bunch of indistinguishable wires. All grainy images - especially CCTV footage from recorders that have been used for years - can be enhanced endlessly, so people can read the writing on the tiny object in the mirror at the back of the room the camera is pointing at. A hero who is being held down on the floor and choked always finds at least one object within arm's reach that can be used to shoot hit his attacker or to hit him over the head. CPR only works if you get angry and shout at the person whose heart has stopped. When giving CPR, one of the following phrases must be used: "Wake up! Wake up!" "Live, god-damn it!" "Don't you leave me!" "You've never quit anything in your life. Don't quit on me now!" Fatally-wounded allies always get to have last words before they die, often as their head is cradled by the hero. At the end of every slasher film, just when you think the hero has finally managed to kill the evil dude, it turns out he wasn't dead after all. He has just enough energy left to make one more vicious attack on the hero, before he dies for real. If you didn't see the ally die, then they aren't really dead. They'll be back just when they are needed. Nameless underlings can sometimes be fought in groups, but named evil minions must always be fought one at a time in individual combat. If you're nerdy, you can be beautiful. All you need to do is to ditch the glasses and let down your hair. People who mean business walk casually away while explosions they caused go off directly behind them. They do not look back, and they aren't worried about shrapnel, shockwaves, hearing loss or burns. "Finally I, the Evil Mastermind, have you, the hero, helpless with my gun pointed at you. I now have time to talk to you at my leisure, and I'm fairly sure your buddy who I shot just before won't interrupt us just as I'm about to pull the trigger. Even though I haven't checked, I'm pretty sure I killed him." Good people are beautiful. Evil people are ugly. Divorcees really love each other, but just can't get along until a disaster or criminal activity forces them to work together. Once that happens, all their marital problems are quickly forgotten, and afterwards are no longer an issue. "Trust no one!" Later.... "Didn't I tell you to trust no-one?" All cardboard grocery bags must contain a baguette and at least one leafy vegetable - celery is good. A good character can always hang on to the edge of a cliff, rope or other hold, with all their weight supported only by their hands, just long enough for the hero to be able to reach down and take their hand and/or catch the hand just as its grip fails. Upon being pulled to safety by the hero, both hero and saved person must lie flat on the ground panting for a few seconds before somebody jumps up and says "Let's get out of here!" If you're pointing a gun at somebody, nothing says you mean business like slowly and deliberately pulling the hammer back, or pumping a shell needlessly from your shotgun. Whenever a person enters a haunted house or any kind of bad place that seems deserted, they must announce their presence loudly. The following words should be used: "Hello?" "Is anybody in here?" "[boyfriend's name]?" Never end a phone call by saying goodbye. Just hang up. Every devious serial killer must keep a metal tray with torture implements on it. When coming home to a darkened house, remember that bad people who want to talk to you prefer to sit in the dark in high-backed chairs to wait for as long as it takes for you to turn up.