The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Zeebo, a Nigerian orphan, has to ride 15 miles each day just to get to school on a bike with no pedals. To make it worse, he only has one leg.
For a small donation of just £2:50, you can download the video. It's fucking hillarious!
You wanna hear a joke eh?

One night a little girl awoke and she decided to go into her mum and dads room, but no one was there, so she made her way to the garage, and heard something very peculiar coming from the steamed car...
The next morning, the little girl awoke, went down stairs, and whilst eating her breakfast, asked her mother, ''what where you and dad doing last night mummy in the garage?''
The mother paused... ''We where baking cakes my dear.''

The next night, the girl awoke again, went into her mothers bedroom... and alas, no one was there. So she went to the bathroom, and noticed the light was on, and unusual sound where coming from the bathtub.
The next morning, the girl asked her mother again, ''What where you and daddy doing in the bathroom last night...?''
''Oh... you know... baking cakes again my dear.''

Then, on the third night, the girl crept down the stair case, and heard unusual activity in the living room.
The next morning, the girl said, ''I know what you where doing last night mummy.''
Th mother asked curiously... ''What?''
''You where baking cakes...''
''How do you know that?'' The mother asked in shock.
The girl replied rubbing her tummy, ''I licked the icing off the sofa...''
i LOVE these jokes...

but cant help feeling that some1 will end up going crazy, babies in microwave, kettle etc...
It seems Mike Tyson may be more sensitive than we might have thought. He claims that he sometimes cries during sex....... Then again thats what mace is made for!
My mate has being feeling really depressed and suicidal recently

so i decided to cheer him up, so i pushed him in front of a steam train.........

Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China?

Everybody won
Circumcised -- This Is Priceless!

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the
back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not
paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite
embarrassed and whispered that he had just
recently been circumcised and
he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the
principal's office. He was to
telephone his mother and ask her what he should do
about it. He did it
and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a
commotion at the back
of the room. She went back to investigate only to
find him sitting at
his desk with his weenie hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she
"I did," he said, "and she told me that if I
could stick it out till
noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Whats white and plastic and should be kept away from children....

A plastic bag... oh no... Micheal Jackson... :)
Hehe, what a thread!

No offense, but let me think of some...

Ok, one day I took a vacation to Mexico. Why did I find it deserted?

A: Because everyone had jumped the border.
A Scouser is sat in a bar having a few drinks. In walks a gay guy who eyes him up. After a few beers the gay guy finally plucks up the courage to speak with the Scouser.
"Do you fancy a blow job?" he whispers. The Scouser picks up a bar stool and batters the guy to a pulp, kicking him out the door. The barman comes over and says
"Christ! That was a bit brutal - what did he say to you?"
"Dunno" replies the Scouser, "something about a job".
What links the Thai Caving Party and The Mcann Family?

Theve all got fluid in their boots.
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