The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

Hi everybody, just found this site. How about nursery rhymes. Try this for starters.

Hi everyone, just found this site and have enjoyed so far. How about updated nursery rhymes. Try this for starters.

Old mother hubbard went to the cuboard to get the postman a letter,
When she got there the cuboard was bare, so they did it without, it was better!!

 

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well salman rushdie has got a knighthood for winding up the muslims, and he's really going for a seat in the house of lords with a new book .

its called "Buddha is a cunt"

 

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Why do Arab women have red dots on their foreheads?







Target practice for their husbands

 

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A black and a Mexican are in a car.... who's driving?
















The police

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George W. Bush won presidency again...

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So Dick Cheney had his finger on the button for a day. GeeDubb had to go in for a colonoscopy. They removed 5 polyps and Stephen Harper's Tilley hat.....

 

8 foreign doctors
3 bombs
no deaths


Harold Shipman: 1 doctor
1 syringe
300 dead

Makes you proud to be British!

 

...

 

today im going to mock the suicide bombers

i would'nt like to be one of there teachers there like 007's the've a small life expectancy
this is how they take there class
"im only going to show you this once so watch closley"

Q whats worse than an english man in a canoe
A a suicide bomber in a canoe beside you:jason:

stand up for the ulster men

 

whatever you do in this world, the end is the same, death.

 

change

 

abcdefghijklmnopqrsvuwxyz

 

bcs07 your posts are not funny. Half of them are just racist statments.

Also explain how:

half of my family live in england sofar i dont think any of them were flooded

Is meant to be a joke. It's just a random statement about the floods in England.

 

emo jokes

*How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry about it.

*How many emo kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them

*What's better than 50 emo kids nailed to a tree?
One emo kid nailed to fifty trees.

*how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3,One to replace it, & two to write a poem about how they miss the old one

*did you hear about that new emo pizza??? It cuts itself!

*If a blonde and an emo kid jump off a building and hit the ground at the same time, who dies first?

The blonde, she drowns in the emo kid's tears.

*What's the difference between an Emo kid and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry.

*What do you call an emo kid outside the mall?
Anything he'll cry no matter what you do.

*What's emo's favourite film?
Suicider-Man 2

*How do you get an emo down from a tree?
cut the rope!!

 

Mickey Mouse is in court during a divorce tribunal with Minnie. The judge says;
"I'm sorry Mr. Mouse but I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds that you say she has big teeth"
Mickey replies; "I didn't say shes got big teeth, I said she's fucking Goofy!"

 

What do you say when you wake up and see your tv floating in the sky....

Drop it nigger!

 

a woman is stand ing on the traim tracks chanting 21 21 21 adn a blonde comes up to her and goes can i join in and she go sure so they bothe sit there chanting 21 21 21 and then the woman goes to the blonde " im just going to get a drink you stay there ill be back in a second. so as the other woman steps of the tracks the blond stays and get hit by a train, the woman comes back and starts canting 22 22 22

 

Little boy blue. He needed the money.

 

the aristacrats

 

Did everyone die inhere?

Bring jokes please!!!111oneoneoneeleven