The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Hi everybody, just found this site. How about nursery rhymes. Try this for starters.

The Flemster said:
Being English, I, along with most of my fellow countrymen, deal with tragedy and adversity in a unique way.
After something terrible has happenned, usually on a national level, we begin circulating very poor taste jokes.

Now, I was wondering weather anyone could remember the most tasteless jokes they've ever heard.
If so, stick 'em here, along with the cultural reference, and we can all laugh/wince/pretend-to-be-above-it-all at them!

I'll start the ball rolling with a joke I received via text about the time all the Michael Jackson revalations were hitting the papers:

"What's worse than than having Michael Jackson babysit your kids?

Having Ian Huntley bath them."

Ooof!

The Flemster.
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Hi everyone, just found this site and have enjoyed so far. How about updated nursery rhymes. Try this for starters.

Old mother hubbard went to the cuboard to get the postman a letter,
When she got there the cuboard was bare, so they did it without, it was better!!
 
well salman rushdie has got a knighthood for winding up the muslims, and he's really going for a seat in the house of lords with a new book .

its called "Buddha is a cunt"
 
So Dick Cheney had his finger on the button for a day. GeeDubb had to go in for a colonoscopy. They removed 5 polyps and Stephen Harper's Tilley hat.....
 
8 foreign doctors
3 bombs
no deaths


Harold Shipman: 1 doctor
1 syringe
300 dead

Makes you proud to be British!
 
today im going to mock the suicide bombers

i would'nt like to be one of there teachers there like 007's the've a small life expectancy
this is how they take there class
"im only going to show you this once so watch closley"

Q whats worse than an english man in a canoe
A a suicide bomber in a canoe beside you:jason:

stand up for the ulster men
 
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bcs07 your posts are not funny. Half of them are just racist statments.

Also explain how:

half of my family live in england sofar i dont think any of them were flooded

Is meant to be a joke. It's just a random statement about the floods in England.
 
emo jokes

*How many emo's does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry about it.

*How many emo kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them

*What's better than 50 emo kids nailed to a tree?
One emo kid nailed to fifty trees.

*how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3,One to replace it, & two to write a poem about how they miss the old one

*did you hear about that new emo pizza??? It cuts itself!

*If a blonde and an emo kid jump off a building and hit the ground at the same time, who dies first?

The blonde, she drowns in the emo kid's tears.

*What's the difference between an Emo kid and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry.

*What do you call an emo kid outside the mall?
Anything he'll cry no matter what you do.

*What's emo's favourite film?
Suicider-Man 2

*How do you get an emo down from a tree?
cut the rope!!
 
Mickey Mouse is in court during a divorce tribunal with Minnie. The judge says;
"I'm sorry Mr. Mouse but I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds that you say she has big teeth"
Mickey replies; "I didn't say shes got big teeth, I said she's fucking Goofy!"
 
What do you say when you wake up and see your tv floating in the sky....

Drop it nigger!
 
a woman is stand ing on the traim tracks chanting 21 21 21 adn a blonde comes up to her and goes can i join in and she go sure so they bothe sit there chanting 21 21 21 and then the woman goes to the blonde " im just going to get a drink you stay there ill be back in a second. so as the other woman steps of the tracks the blond stays and get hit by a train, the woman comes back and starts canting 22 22 22
 
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