The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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here why not now i think u where watching the same thing as anti flag lol
to much channel 4 only joken i was watchin it too it was a laf wasent it

Haha he posted those before I'd even seen it but now that you mention it, it does seem to be from the same show. Not that I haven't heard most of them before, along with others. I was expecting something more offensive, none of them were offensive I laughed at all of them. :D

What's the similarity between Princess Diana and Pink Floyd?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Seriously bcs07, what the hell are you writing?! I can't understand shit of it!
sorry you couldent read it i'll write full sentences next time about the jokes there funny theres a compliment for you
blond jokes
there was a blond brunet and a red head stuck on a island
they caulculated that it would be 200 meters to the nearest island
so the red head went first she got 20 meters and drowned
second the brunet she improved and got 100 meters and drowned
the bloned got 187 meters and said im tiered now im going back

a bloned walked into a shop and asked for a tv the asistaint said we dont sell to blonds so she dyed her hair ginger and walked in and said the same again the asitaint sayed we dont sell to blonds so she dyed here hair brunet went in asked the question again the asistaint answer being the same she asks why he replys because that my darling is a microwave
if you dont get that tell me
up the punks:xctd:
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wanna hear a joke?

u guys tryin to make offensive jokes.

oo burn haha
we need more offensivness. crank it up

:shake: = me and ur mom last night
Little boy runs into the kitchen and says to his mun,
"Mum, is it wrong to have a willy?"
Shocked, the mother replies, "No, of course not dear. Why?"
"Well, Dad's upstairs in the bathroom, trying to pull his one off."

(Not offensive - or funny, really- but I'm running dry lately...)
p.s this is a racist joke so if you are easily ofended please do not read.

what do you call a bunch of black men running down the hill jail break

there and english man and a asaian man on the plane,the plane is about to crash so the pilot says thro of any spare things prefebly what you can get back when you go home so the asian thos of a bowl of curry and says i got plenty of these in my country. The english man grabs the asian and thos him of and says i have got plenty of these in my country.
ok here are a few that we have madeup or been told.

whats the differance beetween a black person and a park bench?
a park bench can surport a family of 4
(sorry that one is reli bad)

what is the biggest problam that ajew can be faced with?
free pork

a man walks into a bar, he porder a pint and sees a jar full of 10 pound notes, he askes the bar man, 'whats that jar for?'. the bar replies, give us a tenner and i will tell you, so the man does so, and the bar man says, ' there are 3 tasks, if you complatete all 3 tasks you win the jar'.
'what are the 3 taskes then' askes the man
well 1st.. ' you have to down 3 pints of bitter'
2nd there a pitbull out side with manky theeth, you must go collect one of its theeth.
3rd there a 90 year old woman up stairs you has never experianced an orgasm, you must go pleese her.
the man says 'what?.. god no.' and carries on drinking
after about 7 pints the man puts a tenner in the jar, downs the bitter, and races outside, theres banging and crashing, moaning and growling, and just when you think the man is dead, he brust tru the door, T- SHIRT ribbed and bloody, and says....
'right then weres that 90 year old woman with the manky theeth'
Q whens it bedtime at micheal jacksons house
A when the big hand touches the little hand
Q whats black white and red all over
A a newspaper
not offensive just random
One day a black man is walking down the street when he sees an empty coke can and kicks it.
A genie appears from the can and grants the man one wish. He replies, "i wanna be white and surrounded by pussy", so the genie turns him into a tampon.

The moral of the story? You may get what you want, but it will always come with strings attached.
Not really offensive but funny

A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. He is approached by three beautiful young women who take pity on him.
The first says to him, "Have you ever been hugged?"
The man shakes his head, and she leans down and gives him a hug. The second says to him, "Have you ever been kissed?"
He shakes his head. She kisses him.
Rather abruptly, the third girl asks, "Have you ever been fucked?"
"No," says the man, his eyes lighting up.
"Well, you are now, The tide's coming in."
Christiarno ronaldo goes to the doctors and says "doctor every time i look in the mirror i get turned on " the doctor says " i'm not surprised your a cunt "
This may have already been posted, my boredom threshold would not permit to look through 47 pages....

You know, my granddad died at Auschwitz......he fell out the guard tower!

<Crowd Proceeds to gasp in shock at the crudeness>

Its alright folks, im just joking!

He only broke his leg.
this is for all the welsh people that are here, i am welsh i am allowed to say it:

Q: what do you call a sheep tied up to a lamp post in the middle of cardiff?

A: a leisure centre.
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