Stupid Exam Answers

N

Nuttyfish

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Konnichiwa!! :D


I am in school, and I hate exams. As does the rest of the world, probably. In any case, the peeps in my school are extremely stupid. Except me. And Communist Hamster. And Peewee Herman.

The proof is here. The exams are infamous for catching people out and expecting elaborate answers. The students, however, seem to think that they are expected to produce the most illogical garbage ever. Some questions and their answers are below.

Physics
Question: Two trolleys heading straight at each other with the same speed collide. What happens?
Answer: Wheee!!

Biology
Question: Why do girls need more iron than boys?
Answer: Because boys haven't started their periods yet.

Give me more. These guys are so f**king dumb.
 
i now know, after reading this thread, why there were no views and no relpies.

to answer your question, dont even ask (cause i cant remember) what some people i knew put as answers for their GCSEs. and i go to a freakin' grammer school! imagine what the rest of the countries like.
 
Now, seriously, you gotta see in Brasil. :D
We have to know wo much garbage that we finish extremely stressed out and confused. The results are astonishing... :D

They should stop with final exams. They are so stupid! Some people get so stressed out that they don't get a good mark despite the fact that they got good marks throughout all the course! It just doesn't work, ya know?

I think they should either stop with final exams or make an option to take the mark they already has rather then taking the final exam in cosideration (i.e. if I got 80% on the whole course and I get 40% on the final exam, I stay with 80%...). That way you don't get stressed out (at least if you are a good student)...
 
The questions I am about to say are from grade 12 university-bound classes. People in my classes are going to medical school and law school.

Geography: "draw a food web with 10 organisms"

plankton -----> zooplankton ---> herring -----> salmon -----> shark ----- human
| | |
| tunafish dolphin
| |
whale decomposer (clam)

"WHat is the difference between a sustainable and a consumer society"
A consumer society takes more from the earth that is necessary and takes more than can be produced.

A sustainable society ensures that there is enough being produced to meet everybody's needs and that the earth will liast forever.

"name three types of lakes, explain each one"
eutrophic: sandy bottom, lots of life, low D.O.
oligotrophic: rocky bottom, not as much life, high D.O.
mesotrophic: in between

English: "Write a short journal regarding an injustice in your life"
A: Any injustoc ein you life...

Religion: "what is an erotic relationship?"
A: Having sex and sexual contact

some of these questions may seem slightly difficult but if you took the course for a day, you will be able to figure it out.
 
My year 9 ICT exam :
Which of these is an INTERNET search engine?
Yoghurt/Ask fred/Tellytubbies/Ask Jeeves
Well, I wonder...
 
Ye Gods! Now I know why some are so stupid when they get to Uni.

I am in the process of marking some first year law exams for a legal philosophy subject. One question asked the students to discuss in an essay whether Marx saw capitalism as being a social and economic system in which private ownership of property was central to the operation of all legal and private institutions (there was more to this question but I can't really reproduce it on the net at the moment... so this was just the jist of the question). This was meant to be the easy question on the exam. And it is basic. This is one of those questions that any first year law student should be able to answer without referring to any notes. And yes, this was an open book exam as most law exams are.

This is part of the opening sentence from one studious individual:

"Marx was this man from long ago who thought that too many people were too rich and not enough people were too poor"...

:eek:

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. :(
 
Dunno yet, I still have so much alcohol in my bloodstream that I can barely type... and I have only slept two hours. I am not in a condition to make a real decision right now...
 
damn...I only slept 3 hours but have no alcohol in my blood...that sucks I tell you..


I hate exams. I even have to do exams as a PhD students. And these exams are not quite on the level of asking something intelligent. I usually make it into a contest. Although you usually have 3 hours for them I aim to finish fastest. Within 30 minutes at least. At the same time I aim at writing as long and bullshitty answers as possible. A guy behind me knew what I was doing and was trying to surpress his laughter. You can actually see that I am trying to write down as much as possible in the shortest amount of time. It requires wild writing. And then you go to the front and give them pages full of shit while the others are still scratching their heads pondering about question no.1 or no.2.

Hei geniuses...if you don't know the answer to a question you certainly not going to know it an hour later. Just write some bullshit. The teachers will give points anyway because they don't want to have to correct another batch of exams a month later in the re-exam.

Another favourite option is to answer not with standard answers but with loaded opinions.

That however is tricky, because strangely enough opinions are not appreciated at the university.
 
spuriousmonkey said:
That however is tricky, because strangely enough opinions are not appreciated at the university.
Click to expand...
Yeah... that is too bad... :(
I thought university was better with that, but I'm pretty dissapointed to discover that that is not quite true... :(

That's a pretty cool system monkey... :D
I wish I had the courage to do that...
 
I'm sitting in my health class and we were talking about how certain things can affect your thyroid. The girl next to me asks the girl in front of me were the thyroid is located. the girl in front turns around and says " It's in your thigh, DUH". She was quite serious about this, not joking at all. I sat there thinking "Oh my goodness..."
 
When I was as student in biology I was once reading a book in the lecture hall just before the lecture would start.

A female student behind me (with a horrible shreeky voice) asked: "are you reading a book about pigeons??? HaHaHa"

I then showed her the cover. It was "on the origin of species" by Charles Darwin of course. A major part of his book is about pigeons.

Apparently you are not supposed to be interested in what you are studying nowadays. Just follow the curriculum and be shallow.
 
That's normal. We are brainwashed in school, nowdays...
We are not supposed to think by ourselves. We need to be programmed to work so that the system can work. What a shame.... :/
 
I've put down some serious bullcrap down before. Like dragging an open response question out to the point of where I am talking to the lady grading the paper at the district center.
 
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