Science jokes

S

Secret

Registered Senior Member
To start with
Thermodynamics and statistical mechanics:

Why is Bangkok University so popular?
Because of its myriad career options

Quantum mechanics (adapted from a friend)
Planck got murdered at the bar table sitting on a stool. The cause of death is a headstab

General relativity x Maths
What is the ultimate fate of the real number line in a closed universe?
It turns into Albert Einstein
 
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Heisenberg and Schrodinger's are in a car going over the speed limit.

A cop stops them and asks, 'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Heisenberg says, 'No, but I can tell you exactly where we are'. The cop dislikes his tone and has them open the trunk.

'Do you know there's a dead cat in your trunk?' the cop asks.

Schrodinger says, 'Well, I do NOW !'
 
Some ancient Romans walk into a bar. One of them holds up two fingers and says to the bartender, "Five beers, please." (math joke)
 
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand ternary, those who don't, and those who thought this would be a binary joke.
 
Long ago, I met a pretty young woman, and we hit it off, soon ending up in the bedroom.
To this day:
I wonder if, when she said "eat me", she was aware that i was a cannibal
 
How many Higgs bosons does it take to change the speed of light?
None -- the speed of light is a constant.

How many Higgs bosons can fit on the head of a pin?
It depends. How long does the pin exist?

Fabiola Gianotti, Francois Englert, and a Higgs boson pop into a bar. The
bartender can serve only two. Why? A zeptosecond every 13.7 billion
years isn't long enough to get a driver's license or a drink.

A group of of strong, sticky gluons are shooting craps and taunt a Higgs boson who just popped into the proton casino, taunting: "doublet or nothing!"
What does the Higgs say?

" Do I look like an easy quark? God particles do not play dice."
 
hmmmm… no krash661 anywhere to be found in 'science jokes'. Interesting. Perhaps the joke is on us; he's usually such a funny guy.
 
danshawen said:
hmmmm… no krash661 anywhere to be found in 'science jokes'. Interesting. Perhaps the joke is on us; he's usually such a funny guy.
Click to expand...

more obvious jealous post about me.
amusing :)

the actual joke , for me is,
you do not even realize that you are promoting me,
just by spreading my name all over this site.
 
My favorite science cartoon: A scientist with a beaker labelled "Atoms" says to another scientist with tweezers, "Take two. They're small."

Sign on the door of the Nuclear Physics Lab: "Gone Fission".
 
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