Dear Bebelina:
You ask interesting questions about karma, but I feel you do not delve far enough in understanding the entirety of the philosophy that contains this concept.
There are hundreds of types of karma. It is a giant bank that we constantly make withdrawals and deposits in. It is impossible to predict the outcome of one action. While that one action will yield fruit, it will not be the same for everyone. In other words, if a "good" person lives his life in doing good, selfless works suddenly tells a lie, it is not the same as an evil person who lies constantly every day and bilks people out of millions. The good person's lie is not a "good" thing, but its karmic action may well be mitigated by all the good works done by this person. In terms of the evil person, this lie will be added to his burden that he will need to repay. It is like having a debt of $10,000. To one person, it can be paid in cash. To another, it can be paid off in installments. To another it will never be repaid. Now let's move on to the greater subject that prompts these questions.
I will touch now on the subject that the memories of parents you speak of are all delusions. They are false memories of our bondage here. By asking this and that about past experiences, you are making it more real. I am reminded of a story about a God who found himself in the body of a pig. He married a sow and had a lovely family. The other Gods saw him slopping around in the mud and tried their best to wake him out of his slumber and remember what he truly was. They couldn't because he was asleep. So instead of letting him wallow in the mud, they killed his family. He was horrified and believed the delusion that indeed his family had been wiped out in this massacre and cried for his sow wife and piglet children. The Gods could take it no longer and so they killed his body. He was then released and it took a moment, but he remembered and joined his friends. He said shaking his head, "It seemed so real!"
Now I fully realize this is harder to accomplish than blithely posting a pithy reply to you. I am going through this process of trying to remember the divine in me and I constantly have to stick pins in my arm not to fall asleep. It is a difficult path. It is not for the timid and not for the weak. But we must get past this artificial brain function into the mysteries of the heart. It is in the heart we find our true selves. I must keep repeating this if only to remind myself that the divine is there. When this is awakened you can see quite clearly how ridiculous this all is. You finally feel what you truly are. You are free from the delusion of pain. But even then it is a constant striving to remain in this state. It is very hard work.
So please, either delve further into this or stop making this more real. You can approach it either way. My heart for some reason goes out to you when I read your posts. I just feel incapable of healing you and so I just pray you are given what you need to heal yourself.
Sat Nam, Bebelina,
NEMESIS
