Truenemo1889
Registered Senior Member
My girlfriend (22 years old) of 1.5 years split up with me (22 years old) roughly 1.5 months ago (November 14th officially). I am confused about why the true resons why we had to split. This is killing me and taring me up inside.
On Saturday (November 6th) me and my friend went up to her house. I had been worried about her. I went to the door and heared her and her brother talk to eachother. I knocked on the door and her brother came out. He said that she was busy. I got upset and left to go back to the car where my friend was.
My friend that that was bull$hit and that i should try again. So we drove around the block, and i went up to her house door again. Her brother came out again and said that she was doing something. I insisted to see her, he told me that she would be out shortly.
After about 4 minutes she came out. She greeted me (she sounded different then usually), and told me how busy she was while we were walking to the street. I asked if i could get a hug. She stretched out her arms a bit but i didnt move much. I was upset. Then i asked her if she still loved me.
She didnt give a straight answer. I totally snapped, and walked away back to the car, leaving her standing outside.
In the car my friend asked me what happened, i told him. He told me that i shouldnt break down and not cry. He told me that i should realize that she did not say "yes" but she didnt say "no" either. I should wait until she calls me.
The next day on Sunday (November 7th) i did what i had done for the past 4 weeks, i painted a porch. I was very worried about what happened the previous night. She didnt call me.
The on monday (November 8th) I saw her in the lab( we both do research in a lab). She seemed busy, we were both busy trying to finish our posters for a research poster presentation at the 2004 ABRCMS research conference in Dallas. I talked to her and for the most i thought i had the situation under control.(big mistake)
On Tuesday (November 9th) I left with my student research group. I was worried about what was actually happening (i was asking myselk why she hadn't given me a straight answer).
Then on wednesday (November 10th) she came with her group. I confronted her about the current situation. She sounded differently, sadened. She told me that she assumed that i had broken up with her when i walked away from her the past Saturday (November 6th)
On the way to her hotel room (Hyatt hotel) she started telling me that i wouldn't understand why would have to split up. I told her that i was open everything, and that i could try to understand.
She told me that she, her mother and 1-2 other people , had some dreams/premonitions. I didnt want to dismiss itthis as nonsense, i am fairly open about anything. At first i thouht it had something to do with suicide, death, murder,etc. But then she told me what it was really about.
According to those premonitions i would leave her for my ideal woman.
I was devastated at this point. I told her that i was sorry about everything.
And asked her why we couldnt work things out, that even if those dreams really depict the future that we can still change it. The future isnt set in stone was what i assumed.
She then asked me why i looked at other girls that much. I said that i loved her and that i was sorry about everything. I asked her if had cheated on her, she said no "otherwise i wouldn't be with you". I knew that i had not cheated on her. I got pretty desparate.
She told me that i would not change, and that it would be better for us to split up now before we get too attached.
She also said that i didnt believe anything the pastor had said at church every sunday. I had gone to her church with her and her family every
Sunday for over a year. Over the past 4 weeks i wasnt able to because i needed to paint a porch.
Anyway...
She then told me that she still loved me and that it was not her decision to break up, and that no other guy was involved.
She told me that she hopes that i will get over it, with trusting females again.
Devastated i lft I left her hotel and headed down the hall back to my room.
Telling myself that i would get involved with another girl, i was pretty upset about this.
The next day on Thursday (November 11th) i was pretty depressed. Eventually i decided to see downtown Dallas with her. She agreed to come with me. So we went downtown. She was not talking much.
On friday (November 12th) we presented our poster. She seemed happy doing it.
On saturday (November 13th) we went downtown dallas again. In the evening i got us something to eat. We went to her room, her room mate was there so we couldnt speak openly. So what we did was starting writing what wanted to say down on paper.
Me: I love u , i need u
Her : Guess what ?
Me: Erm ... i donno
Her: I just found out about this homework
Me: I am sad, very sad
Her : So your lost your appetite
Me: Yes
Her: Well, comfort foood usually helps.
Me: Bahahahaha..... Not this time. I am very sad.
Her: I told u let us enjoy the time we have left + not think about about
tomorrow until it comes.
Me: I want to spend some time with you alone
Her: Well even if were I got this homework right now so thats not a good
idea.
Me: Ok..... I am very sad
Her: Why you have Homework too.
Me: Ok..... i am happy again (sarcastic)
Her: Maybe we can eat.
Me: I am not hungry anymore
Her: Well you can do your work
Me: Ok
Her: Do you have your books here with you?
Me: Yes
Me: I am so sad that we have to split up. This is very difficult for me. I am
confused and hurt. Ouchy.
Her: I am upset about that too but there is nothing i can do about it.
I am hurt and depressed because I wish there was a way around it.
Me: Nooooooo
Me: I need you honeybun
Her: I know but it has to be this way....You know i love you.
Me : You dont love me
Her: I do and this is why i have to do this. I cant allow you to settle
Me: But why ?....Plz tell me
Her: I told you that you want a different type of girl.....
Me:I suck ... and i am sad....Then why do i love you?
Her: This is sad but although you love me and my personality i am not
enough because i am not right for you...
This is why you stare at every other girl that walks passed.
Her: Needless to say if you did marry me you would be settling and because
you want to be with another girl you would end up taking it out on me.
I want what is best for you which is why things have to be this way.
Me: Honeybun, what can i do?
Her: I don't know
Me: What will you do?
Her: I don't know, i'll get over it, it will just take time before the pain goes
away.
Me: Ok
Her: It i so hard to imagine us being apart
END
We saw the incredibles that Saturday evening (November 13th) totally missing out on the ABRCMS banquet ceremony.
On Sunday November 14th (her birthday) we get ready to move out of the Dallas Hyatt hotel early in the morning.
At the airport i tried to get a seat next to her, i tried to enjoy every minute of time i had left with her.
Eventually i got a seat next to her, but we were sperated by the walkway of the airplane. I held hand her for the most part of the flight.
Once we got to BWI airport we took an overprized hack back to Baltimore.
We were dropped of in her area we walked down her street until we got picked up by her father , mother and brother. She got in first and her mother greeted her saying "Happy birthday" and i got into the Jeep shortly after.
Iwasnt saying anything on the way home. One odd thing that i saw was her brother taking my girlfirends hands in his hands and holding them because they were cold. That upset me a bit.
Then in the front of my home i hoped out to get my luggage. Her father came out and helped me. I said goodbye to the family then walked with her father to the front door. There he turned around and left.
I waived goodbye as they drove away.
A 1.5 year relationship had ended.
It has been 1.5 months since. I havent seen or talked to for 3 weeks now.
I called her home(nobody picked up) and her cellphone (which was disabled) to say hello.
I had made her a christmas card so i wanted to give it to her. Then on Saturday (Christmas day- december 25th) AT 7:03 in the morning i got a call from my ex girlfriens mother. She obviously tried to figure out who had called the previous day. So she was somewhat suprised to hear me on the other line.
Iasked if my girlfriend was there. She said that she was out with her brother.
Remember it was 7:03 in the morning on the Christmas day.
Then i asked her when i could drop of the christmas card i had made for her.
Her mother told me it would be ok if i send it of via mail, it should still get there just as well.
I was upset. And at this moment i really dont know what to. I had a nervous breakdown yesterday. It seems t me that something is missing
The reasons for the breakup that i gathered from the discussion with my girlfriend 6 weeks ago:
1.Me looking at other girls
2. Mentioning and describing my ideal woman
3. The premonitions that she , her mother and 1-2 other people had about me
cheating or being miserable with her.
4. Me wanting four kids, she wanting 2 kids
5 She wanting to marry early , me wanting to marry 10-20 years from now
6 She wanting to life inland, me wanting to life closer to the sea.
Why would she breakup with me and refuse to work things out
Who's decision was it to break up?
She doesnt have the lar personality. She has three pillars that she values alot
"Honesty, Trust , And Loyality"
This is taring me apart.
I would appreciate any feedback this is taring me apart inside
I havent gotten a call, email or anything, saying anything.
Please help
On Saturday (November 6th) me and my friend went up to her house. I had been worried about her. I went to the door and heared her and her brother talk to eachother. I knocked on the door and her brother came out. He said that she was busy. I got upset and left to go back to the car where my friend was.
My friend that that was bull$hit and that i should try again. So we drove around the block, and i went up to her house door again. Her brother came out again and said that she was doing something. I insisted to see her, he told me that she would be out shortly.
After about 4 minutes she came out. She greeted me (she sounded different then usually), and told me how busy she was while we were walking to the street. I asked if i could get a hug. She stretched out her arms a bit but i didnt move much. I was upset. Then i asked her if she still loved me.
She didnt give a straight answer. I totally snapped, and walked away back to the car, leaving her standing outside.
In the car my friend asked me what happened, i told him. He told me that i shouldnt break down and not cry. He told me that i should realize that she did not say "yes" but she didnt say "no" either. I should wait until she calls me.
The next day on Sunday (November 7th) i did what i had done for the past 4 weeks, i painted a porch. I was very worried about what happened the previous night. She didnt call me.
The on monday (November 8th) I saw her in the lab( we both do research in a lab). She seemed busy, we were both busy trying to finish our posters for a research poster presentation at the 2004 ABRCMS research conference in Dallas. I talked to her and for the most i thought i had the situation under control.(big mistake)
On Tuesday (November 9th) I left with my student research group. I was worried about what was actually happening (i was asking myselk why she hadn't given me a straight answer).
Then on wednesday (November 10th) she came with her group. I confronted her about the current situation. She sounded differently, sadened. She told me that she assumed that i had broken up with her when i walked away from her the past Saturday (November 6th)
On the way to her hotel room (Hyatt hotel) she started telling me that i wouldn't understand why would have to split up. I told her that i was open everything, and that i could try to understand.
She told me that she, her mother and 1-2 other people , had some dreams/premonitions. I didnt want to dismiss itthis as nonsense, i am fairly open about anything. At first i thouht it had something to do with suicide, death, murder,etc. But then she told me what it was really about.
According to those premonitions i would leave her for my ideal woman.
I was devastated at this point. I told her that i was sorry about everything.
And asked her why we couldnt work things out, that even if those dreams really depict the future that we can still change it. The future isnt set in stone was what i assumed.
She then asked me why i looked at other girls that much. I said that i loved her and that i was sorry about everything. I asked her if had cheated on her, she said no "otherwise i wouldn't be with you". I knew that i had not cheated on her. I got pretty desparate.
She told me that i would not change, and that it would be better for us to split up now before we get too attached.
She also said that i didnt believe anything the pastor had said at church every sunday. I had gone to her church with her and her family every
Sunday for over a year. Over the past 4 weeks i wasnt able to because i needed to paint a porch.
Anyway...
She then told me that she still loved me and that it was not her decision to break up, and that no other guy was involved.
She told me that she hopes that i will get over it, with trusting females again.
Devastated i lft I left her hotel and headed down the hall back to my room.
Telling myself that i would get involved with another girl, i was pretty upset about this.
The next day on Thursday (November 11th) i was pretty depressed. Eventually i decided to see downtown Dallas with her. She agreed to come with me. So we went downtown. She was not talking much.
On friday (November 12th) we presented our poster. She seemed happy doing it.
On saturday (November 13th) we went downtown dallas again. In the evening i got us something to eat. We went to her room, her room mate was there so we couldnt speak openly. So what we did was starting writing what wanted to say down on paper.
Me: I love u , i need u
Her : Guess what ?
Me: Erm ... i donno
Her: I just found out about this homework
Me: I am sad, very sad
Her : So your lost your appetite
Me: Yes
Her: Well, comfort foood usually helps.
Me: Bahahahaha..... Not this time. I am very sad.
Her: I told u let us enjoy the time we have left + not think about about
tomorrow until it comes.
Me: I want to spend some time with you alone
Her: Well even if were I got this homework right now so thats not a good
idea.
Me: Ok..... I am very sad
Her: Why you have Homework too.
Me: Ok..... i am happy again (sarcastic)
Her: Maybe we can eat.
Me: I am not hungry anymore
Her: Well you can do your work
Me: Ok
Her: Do you have your books here with you?
Me: Yes
Me: I am so sad that we have to split up. This is very difficult for me. I am
confused and hurt. Ouchy.
Her: I am upset about that too but there is nothing i can do about it.
I am hurt and depressed because I wish there was a way around it.
Me: Nooooooo
Me: I need you honeybun
Her: I know but it has to be this way....You know i love you.
Me : You dont love me
Her: I do and this is why i have to do this. I cant allow you to settle
Me: But why ?....Plz tell me
Her: I told you that you want a different type of girl.....
Me:I suck ... and i am sad....Then why do i love you?
Her: This is sad but although you love me and my personality i am not
enough because i am not right for you...
This is why you stare at every other girl that walks passed.
Her: Needless to say if you did marry me you would be settling and because
you want to be with another girl you would end up taking it out on me.
I want what is best for you which is why things have to be this way.
Me: Honeybun, what can i do?
Her: I don't know
Me: What will you do?
Her: I don't know, i'll get over it, it will just take time before the pain goes
away.
Me: Ok
Her: It i so hard to imagine us being apart
END
We saw the incredibles that Saturday evening (November 13th) totally missing out on the ABRCMS banquet ceremony.
On Sunday November 14th (her birthday) we get ready to move out of the Dallas Hyatt hotel early in the morning.
At the airport i tried to get a seat next to her, i tried to enjoy every minute of time i had left with her.
Eventually i got a seat next to her, but we were sperated by the walkway of the airplane. I held hand her for the most part of the flight.
Once we got to BWI airport we took an overprized hack back to Baltimore.
We were dropped of in her area we walked down her street until we got picked up by her father , mother and brother. She got in first and her mother greeted her saying "Happy birthday" and i got into the Jeep shortly after.
Iwasnt saying anything on the way home. One odd thing that i saw was her brother taking my girlfirends hands in his hands and holding them because they were cold. That upset me a bit.
Then in the front of my home i hoped out to get my luggage. Her father came out and helped me. I said goodbye to the family then walked with her father to the front door. There he turned around and left.
I waived goodbye as they drove away.
A 1.5 year relationship had ended.
It has been 1.5 months since. I havent seen or talked to for 3 weeks now.
I called her home(nobody picked up) and her cellphone (which was disabled) to say hello.
I had made her a christmas card so i wanted to give it to her. Then on Saturday (Christmas day- december 25th) AT 7:03 in the morning i got a call from my ex girlfriens mother. She obviously tried to figure out who had called the previous day. So she was somewhat suprised to hear me on the other line.
Iasked if my girlfriend was there. She said that she was out with her brother.
Remember it was 7:03 in the morning on the Christmas day.
Then i asked her when i could drop of the christmas card i had made for her.
Her mother told me it would be ok if i send it of via mail, it should still get there just as well.
I was upset. And at this moment i really dont know what to. I had a nervous breakdown yesterday. It seems t me that something is missing
The reasons for the breakup that i gathered from the discussion with my girlfriend 6 weeks ago:
1.Me looking at other girls
2. Mentioning and describing my ideal woman
3. The premonitions that she , her mother and 1-2 other people had about me
cheating or being miserable with her.
4. Me wanting four kids, she wanting 2 kids
5 She wanting to marry early , me wanting to marry 10-20 years from now
6 She wanting to life inland, me wanting to life closer to the sea.
Why would she breakup with me and refuse to work things out
Who's decision was it to break up?
She doesnt have the lar personality. She has three pillars that she values alot
"Honesty, Trust , And Loyality"
This is taring me apart.
I would appreciate any feedback this is taring me apart inside
I havent gotten a call, email or anything, saying anything.
Please help
