I remember having a vision that before I incarnated that I looked down here and was so horrified by the unethical system. This wasn't just outward manifestations you would see as in big events which society usually focuses on in the news but actually seeing how the dynamics/underlying structure are in a hidden grid system. I suppose I was actually able to see , say, on a quantum level and whatever I became aware of just horrified me and made me ill. It also made me angry and so moved with pity (even very tempted/leaning toward sacrificing myself to help) towards those who were unfairly, even some unknowingly being exploited and suffering. on hindsight, that was the bait and clincher for me where I was going to be a victim. oh, they want your compassion and sympathy, but to misuse it.
I wanted to change this whole system and naively believed these beings when they said that I could. i was very passionate about this. what made me a prime target is, I had a recipe/plan for using the dark against itself as well and that is something most others don't do, it's just more comprehensive and potent. I think this more real effective rather than just some lightworkers on one side doing good and evil doing the opposite on the other etc, is what made me a threat to this system even more and so a much more target of rendering me and this plan to obscurity. as in I was a prime target of evil for this reason. once I had a reading and it kept saying, 'they know who you are,'and I was like what does this mean, though intuitively I kind of already did know is that, while most lightworkers are kind of soft on evil which is one of the reasons why they are not as targeted, I was really going to go for the jugular when it came to evil. but the thing is, this place is RUN BY EVIL (so far)! of course, they weren't going to let me do that and then make sure I was pummeled to the ground and degraded/humiliated for trying to destroy them. yes, I came here with the express and definite purpose/objective/agenda to destroy evil and/or subjugate evil as it has done to good. not compromise with it, not play with it, not let it get away with it's deeds, not flatter it, not stroke it's ego to calm the beast etc. so of course, I would be notoriously hated by dark forces for that. to be honest, I can't even remember explicitly what that plan was anymore because it was encoded as part of that light that was confiscated and the light that was left in me was tarnished. but rest assured that I know in my gut that it was tortured or misused with the objective to twist it to evil use or render it ineffective/damaged.
I had a map done of my life plan before I incarnated and planned to hold off on my personal desires/fulfillment until my humanitarian objectives had been accomplished and then meet my love at the end or so they said I could. I accepted because I figured that was more important.
Heh. Well, things did not go like this at all. as a matter of fact, I was born to parents and family where their mission was to actually stop exactly this mission: absolute pure evil. their abuse wasn't just from general frustration with life, possibly not the happiest home etc but in these cases, you still may have a chance because it's not really focused on you specifically and consciously. their abuse was highly personal, invasive, learning my pressure points, strengths and weaknesses and directed at me in such a way to sabotage, undermine and cripple any real chances. coincidence? not. furthermore, whatever compassion/light/power I brought with me for this purpose was confiscated and misused for personal worldly power and money, just as the usual. I had no help or support in any way, shape or form for my supposedly life mission. it was all bullshit.
the part of this agreement that still may have a chance is, I may meet my other half here before I die but that is even iffy. the part that I think probably isn't bullshit and real in all of this is my other half probably was tortured the same. heck, maybe he isn't even here. actually, I would rather feel at more peace if he were not here to suffer.
the moral of the story being that having good intentions and even a plan is not enough. there is politics (astral realm) you need to be aware of as well as timing. there are some really nasty, powerful and evil beings of consciousness also. you see it also reflected in human vessels also. people are channels/pawns for these things on all levels and strata of society. it's often a choice though. it will use temptation such as jealousy, selfishness, suffering, hardship etc to get you to inflict harm on others and continue this cycle. it's not at all a Pollyanna or all good here or automatically that good can or will win or make ground. even if one can be in the right, it can't be implemented if there are no supporters but mostly detractors. it's also about gradual improvement and actually being in the right place at the right time. you have to consider the ethical and social climate at the time you incarnate. otoh, some who break the ice or have to be radical in some way, may unfortunately be sacrificed in the beginning. this has happened all throughout history as people have been despised, brutalized, tortured, hated and killed for such, even for good (crazy place). as society becomes more evolved and ethical, the good souls here will have more support and possibly protection to bring love, good, fairness, kindness, compassion etc as well as do their ethical mission.
