Ladies, do you snoop?

[Liebling]

Those don't sound like guys. Those sound like women with penises.
The only thing worse than a needy, low self-esteemed, insecure girl, is a needy low-self-esteemed, insecure guy.

Well maybe, but there are a lot of guys with low self-esteem. Maybe more than you realize. Alternately, there are very narcissistic men who like "fixing" women because it adds to their accomplishments in life. And also men who are so egocentric that it becomes a wrong that only they can make right.

 

[S.A.M.]

And also men who are so egocentric that it becomes a wrong that only they can make right.

Yeah I have never understood that. You can't fix it because it aint broke. I never understand why men will try to change women into something they are not. Why not look for what you want in a woman??

 

[mikenostic]

Well maybe, but there are a lot of guys with low self-esteem. Maybe more than you realize.

Oh I realize it. Some of them have low self-esteem for valid reasons (bad luck with women, etc.), but it's how they handle the low self-esteem that I'm concerned about.

Alternately, there are very narcissistic men who like "fixing" women because it adds to their accomplishments in life. And also men who are so egocentric that it becomes a wrong that only they can make right.

I don't want to fix a woman. I have enough to do with my house, my job, my dogs and my mountain biking to fix a woman. I just want a woman who isn't my total opposite, which seems to be most all of them.

 

[Tnerb]

Oh I realize it. Some of them have low self-esteem for valid reasons (bad luck with women, etc.), but it's how they handle the low self-esteem that I'm concerned about.


I don't want to fix a woman. I have enough to do with my house, my job, my dogs and my mountain biking to fix a woman. I just want a woman who isn't my total opposite, which seems to be most all of them.

Nah, women typically mike are well adjusted to fit the guy, that girl you go after.

It's when you consider them all total opposites that everything blows up inur face.

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

Keeping secrets from your mate is a stressful way to live. If you're doing something you don't want them to know about, you're hiding part of who you are. That's not an honest relationship in the first place. If they return the disfavor by looking for the stuff you're hiding and "hiding" from you the fact that they're looking, well duh. What goes around comes around.

My wife and I both do things that the other person doesn't like very much, but we don't hide them. We have the strength to endure the criticism and the self respect not to be ashamed of something just because somebody else doesn't like it. And the love to not be outraged by the things we don't like, the refusal to change, or the criticism. We know each other's e-mail passwords and the receipts for everything we spend money on are posted to our bookkeeping spreadsheet. She pays the bills and I do the taxes so we both see everything.

If you feel that you have to hide something from your spouse, or if you suspect that your spouse is hiding something from you, then at least one of you is a jerk.

If you're talking about an outright betrayal like continuing to date when you promised a monogamous relationship, then you haven't got a relationship so it doesn't really matter how the other person reacts. And if the other person suspects you of betrayal, you need to figure out how the relationship got so dysfunctional. It could be that you keep secrets about other things, so they can't figure out when it's safe to trust you. Is it okay to say "duh" twice in one post?

 

[mikenostic]

Nah, women typically mike are well adjusted to fit the guy, that girl you go after.

Huh?

It's when you consider them all total opposites that everything blows up inur face.

I don't consider all of them total opposites, just most of them. And in case you haven't noticed, most women would consider me a control freak*, even though I'm not. So find me an attractive woman that is totally understanding of what I need and would work around them and I'll stop complaining. If you don't know where to look for a woman like that, you can find her hanging out with either Santa Claus, The Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy.


*control freaks like to control EVERYTHING. I just like to be somewhat able to manage my immediate surroundings (and only where me and my business are concerned).

 

[Tnerb]

Huh?

Typically, you go try to find you a girlfriend. You would hope she is right for you. In most every case it is so that if you find a girl you like then she is right for you. It's when you consider them not right for you you get into a problem.

I don't consider all of them total opposites, just most of them. And in case you haven't noticed, most women would consider me a control freak*, even though I'm not. So find me an attractive woman that is totally understanding of what I need and would work around them and I'll stop complaining. If you don't know where to look for a woman like that, you can find her hanging out with either Santa Claus, The Easter bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

 

[S.A.M.]

My wife and I both do things that the other person doesn't like very much, but we don't hide them. We have the strength to endure the criticism and the self respect not to be ashamed of something just because somebody else doesn't like it. And the love to not be outraged by the things we don't like, the refusal to change, or the criticism.

Agreed. If you can't take a person for who they are, you're not in a relationship. You can't please anyone all of the time and you should not be forced to feel like you have to.

 

[mikenostic]

Agreed. If you can't take a person for who they are, you're not in a relationship. You can't please anyone all of the time and you should not be forced to feel like you have to.

Well said bofe you guys (Sam and Fraggle).

Typically, you go try to find you a girlfriend. You would hope she is right for you. In most every case it is so that if you find a girl you like then she is right for you.

Uh no. I've found a few girls that I liked that I didn't make it past the first date with...where I KNOW I didn't do a damn thing wrong on those dates. Others didn't work out for other reasons.
And that's the problem...finding one. Finding a mate is a full time job in itself. I love sex as much as the next guy as well as companionship, but sorry I already have a full time job. For me, if it doesn't pretty much fall in my lap, I'm not going after it. I don't have the time, nor the motivation anymore. Add that to the fact that a guy has about an 80% chance of getting shot down when he asks a woman out and there you have it.

It's when you consider them not right for you you get into a problem.

Have you been eating shrooms?

 

[Tnerb]

Well said bofe you guys (Sam and Fraggle).

Add that to the fact that a guy has about an 80% chance of getting shot down when he asks a woman out and there you have it.

Suppose your right.

Depends on the guy

Have you been eating shrooms?

Of course.

 

[shorty_37]

Snooping is a sign of not trusting someone. Guess what Shorty, I have NEVER snooped on any of my past g/fs. Granted I've inadvertently found stuff before that caused me to question her, when I was looking for something else, but I've never purposely snooped. Why? Beause I trusted them. You gunna sit there and tell me that if Nietzsche snooped, you wouldn't be livid?


1. I'm already aware that I have no patience or tolerance for much in a relationship. I do not have any shame/guilt or remorse in admitting it either.
I've even said I'd rather die alone than be with someone in a situation I had to settle for. I'm sorry you and everyone else here thinks it's a cardinal freakin sin to be less than willing to compromise your principles just for some non-guaranteed companiionship. I'm also sorry you feel that expecting what you deserve is so taboo. Oh well.
2. I'm not waiting for Ms. Perfect because I know she doesn't exist. I am well aware that short of a miracle (i.e. my mentality changes or I do find a girl that fits me), I'll spend the rest of my life with my dogs; and I'm ok with that.

If he snooped on me, I really wouldn't care to be honest. I really have nothing to hide. :shrug:

Don't get all pissy...I was just making an observation. If you are ok with it that is all that really matters.

Personally I don't think I would ever find someone EXACTLY to all my expectations in every single way, so I don't expect everything. I am not Ms. Perfection myself so I don't expect my partner to be either. We are quite opposites in fact but somehow it works.

Do you know how many times we both say....I don't know why you are with me...Why are you? then we kinda laugh with some smart ass answers. That is how opposite we are.

I would not be happy spending the rest of my life by myself. I would in fact rather have disagreements and arguments here and there then spend the rest of my life alone.

 

[mikenostic]

If he snooped on me, I really wouldn't care to be honest. I really have nothing to hide. :shrug:

I just think it's an invasion of privacy.

Don't get all pissy...I was just making an observation. If you are ok with it that is all that really matters.

:roflmao:
When do I ever get pissy with you?

Personally I don't think I would ever find someone EXACTLY to all my expectations in every single way, so I don't expect everything. I am not Ms. Perfection myself so I don't expect my partner to be either. We are quite opposites in fact but somehow it works.

Sorry, I should have been more specific with what I meant.
I'd like a person like me in areas like sense of humor, outdoorsiness/activity and ambition. As for opposite...I'd probably need a woman that was fairly non confrontational. I find that with the confrontational girls, if we get into arguments, they tend not to back down and neither do I. With non confrontational women I tend to have quite a bit of respect for that demeanor For some odd reason, I feel very relaxed and comfortable around that type of demeanor and go out of my way to be well mannered around them.

Do you know how many times we both say....I don't know why you are with me...Why are you? then we kinda laugh with some smart ass answers. That is how opposite we are.

That sounds more like banter than anything else. And banter is an essential part to a good relationship.

 

[chris4355]

I strongly disagree with this. I think you can get to the truth if you are open to the truth. If you know your significant other will not blow their top, go off the deep end, or never forgive/forget about your mistakes, you are more willing to share them. And everyone makes mistakes.

I think some people only find guilt when they are caught. They won't feel bad and wont let anything out until it happens.

I'll always care about being honest. Honesty is more than being about doing the right thing. If you're as honest as you can be, and you take accountability for your actions, you leave little room for people to pick.
Am I 100% honest. Nope. I don't think anyone is, but I try to be whenever I can, especially with people I'm supposed to care about.

I guess you have a point.

 

[shorty_37]

:roflmao:
When do I ever get pissy with you?


Sorry, I should have been more specific with what I meant.
I'd like a person like me in areas like sense of humor, outdoorsiness/activity and ambition. As for opposite...I'd probably need a woman that was fairly non confrontational. I find that with the confrontational girls, if we get into arguments, they tend not to back down and neither do I. With non confrontational women I tend to have quite a bit of respect for that demeanor For some odd reason, I feel very relaxed and comfortable around that type of demeanor and go out of my way to be well mannered around them.

You never get pissy with me...that is why I said it!

Ask Nietzsche if I ever back down.. Shit I could go all night, depending on the argument lol.

That sounds more like banter than anything else. And banter is an essential part to a good relationship.

His answer is usually you know why I am with you......Your boobs and A$$ then I roll my eyes... HA HA

 

[chris4355]

You never get pissy with me...that is why I said it!

Ask Nietzsche if I ever back down.. Shit I could go all night, depending on the argument lol.



His answer is usually you know why I am with you......Your boobs and A$$ then I roll my eyes... HA HA

How short are you shorty?

 

[shorty_37]

How short are you shorty?

With or without shoes? lol

5"2 and 1/2 gotta get that little extra in.

 

[CutsieMarie89]

Excellent avatar, Marie.

Semper Fi

You snooped around because you suspected he was stealing your candy?
HAHAHAHAHA!! That's funny right there. I don't care who you are.
That must've been some privledged candy if you were that upset about him stealing it. Haha.

It wasn't so much suspected as it was knew. I knew he was lying so I set out to prove it. I'm the only one who lives here and he's the only one who visits. If I wasn't eating them, then I have gremlins who like to steal candy, they got up and walked away on their own, or he was eating them. To bad he's an moron who stuffs trash in weird places. I made him buy me a whole new bag (a bigger one with different kinds of candy). No one gets away with taking my stuff.

 

[S.A.M.]

Did you keep him?

 

[shorty_37]

As wrong as it sounds sometimes the only way to get the truth is through hard evidence.

Typically when a woman senses somethings wrong they are usually right, unless they are the psycho kind.

Almost everytime I sense something isn't right, it almost always isn't. For instance I had a feeling about my older son tonight when he said he was going somewhere. I knew something wasn't right and bingo....he lied and said he was going somewhere else.

I told him when he got back, when will he learn. I have great instincts, and there isn't much that gets past them.

Now he is moping because he is grounded the rest of the week and no MSN messenger (god his life will be over now) lol

 

[iceaura]

My wife and I both do things that the other person doesn't like very much, but we don't hide them. We have the strength to endure the criticism and the self respect not to be ashamed of something just because somebody else doesn't like it. And the love to not be outraged by the things we don't like, the refusal to change, or the criticism. We know each other's e-mail passwords and the receipts for everything we spend money on are posted to our bookkeeping spreadsheet. She pays the bills and I do the taxes so we both see everything.

It takes a few years to get to that state, though.

Meanwhile - - -