Do people mature or get a sense of responsiblility with age?

[Tristan]

My mom had a unique oppurtunity to go to china. So she did, leaving my brother in charge. The thing is, she left no money because she thought (and I did too) that it was time for my brother nathan to chip in. So he would spend HIS money on food and other things we need, ect.

He hasn't been home at all. He goes to work (9am-6or7pm) then he must go to his boyfriends house (we call him his boyfriend since he is always fricken there working on something stupid like his car instead of doing somthing else with his time). So then he gets mad and yells at me when I come home, Clean up the kitchen (it was a fucking mess), change the cat litter, and finally "forget" to take out the dogs. So I said "What? You expect everyone else to take out the dogs (one of the two dogs is his)?"
So he replies "Tatiana (the family dog (we really dont have a "family)) is your dog..." ect, ect,ect.

So he is supposed to me supervising my brother and I and he is never home. He is generally wasting time. Shit, today he was supposed to go help my uncle paint something. Did he ever go? and what was his excuse? "I had my shit to do." And what does "his shit" consist of today? Sleeping. And spending time with his "boyfriend".

So I have been asking him to go to the store and buy food since we have... well... nothing besides raw, frozen beef. Im mean its not an unreasonable request, is it? You know, go to the store and get some fruit and veggies and some lunch meat and cereal? not real hard.

So what does he do? He happens to tag along to Sams Club with his friend and fucking buys 5lbs of Country Time lemonade, 4.3lbs of Nesquick, MORE beef, a bag of meat balls (we have no spegatti), and 3 fucking pounds of fucking CREAM CHEESE! He said outside (where I was) that he got some meat. I said why the fuck would you do that. He basically said that he didn't "feel like" going shopping. I discovered the cream cheese and lemonade once I came in. Good thing he wasn't here or id fucking strangle him.

But seriously, come on. He is incredibly lazy, completely irresponsible, an ass 40% of the time, and shows no maturity whatsoever. He spends more time and money on his fucking car than on trying to get the fuck out of his mothers house! Im mean come on! Hes being handed a place to live for free, food for free, and he doesnt even like living with my mom. YET, he shows no initive to get out of here.

Am i over reacting or am I god dam right? I mean this is Bull shit.


Of and he fucking left me and my brother at the mall the other day. hes 10 miles away at a house, working on his car, and he leaves us at the fucking mall in the "not so great" part of the city! I mean wtf is that? And he said he would pick us up in 1h30m! Note: the mall was closed and it was dark. I call him up and he makes that statement, "What, are you afraid of getting mugged?"
I said, "YA!" A few other things were exchanged b4 i hung up on the bastard. (NOTE: Me and my brother were playing on the LAN inside the mall. We are not popular, in the "Click", tommy hilfiger morons) (No offence)



So thats the Shpeal!
What do you think?

Later
T

 

[wet1]

Actually, the idea is that people mature with age yes. It doesn't always turn out very well. Like in the case of your brother. He seems to lack a feeling of responsibility towards other people. It's amazing how less he seems to care about you and your younger brother.

I wonder what he might do when there's something going wrong with one of you. Will he care then?

You are family and I think he should know better than to behave like this. If he's left in "command", then he has to take care of you and make sure there is at the least good food in the house and take his share of duties, like walking the dogs, for example.

I sincerely hope he will open his eyes and come to the conclusion how precious family is. Once you are away from them, it sketches a whole different picture. He will come to this, in time I guess. On the other hand, some people are so damn egoistic, they will never change, 'cause they think they are number 1 and no-one else matters as long as they can do what they want.

Sign of the times?

I wish you all the best, you sound like a mature young man, who does know responsibility and cares for others, whether it are your pets/animals or people. Good for you. Stay this way, you are alright...

 

[Xenu]

I'd have to say that people become more mature from experience rather than age. It may take a few "wake-up-calls" for your brother. Unfortunately many people become quite crafty in not growing up, and hide behind social fronts. These types of people will be children for the rest of their lives.

 

[wet1]

If your brother is of age, then nothing will help him more than your mother telling him it is time for him to move out and get his own place. (tough love)

I think some time of figuring what makes things run and how it is done would do an immense amount of good here. Your brother lacks responcibility because he has always had someone else to do it or someone else to blame. It has always come easy.

It is time for him to find out the trash doesn't walk itself to the sidewalk and groceries don't come in and jump in the refridgator. Nor do the beds make themselves and stoves do not cook food on its own. Bills do not pay themselves. I think at this point these may well be alien concepts that will soon jump up and slap him in the face. It appears that he may have been given everything during his life and has no sense of value. Lacking a sense of value reflects in a lack of responcibility. You come up with the "me first" syndrome, which is reflected in the attitude towards his family.

We, as parents, always wish the best for our kids. We wish it to be easier for them than it was for us. Sometimes, in our efforts, we go to far. It is an easy road to cross. As has been remarked on before, it is a shame that humankind does not come with operating manuals. I do not mean to fault your parents. We all try to do what is best with our children. We never know for sure if it is right or wrong until later. Then all you can do is try to rectify the problem. I am not a perfect child raiser. All I can say is what I would do in this case. Do not alienate him but he has to learn how to do, even if it is on his own. In the long run we must all go through this and the longer before it happens the harder it is.

After talking with your mother, when she comes back, please ask her to read this...

 

[Tristan]

Well see he hasn't lived with us all his life. He just came back for awile because he never went to college and was experiencing hard times in finding and keeping a job. So its not like he is a mommas boy or anything. Its just that he shows no initiative right now and thats what angers me. I know he was having some problems (fights with my other brother and depression) but now its time to get his life together. But I really was overeacting when i wrote the above since I was really pissed at him. He is doing better. He got back an old job and makes a nice money now. So by the end of summer he should be back on his own feet, and hopefully not back for a long term stay again (at least till im out of the house ).

So ill delete this thread in a day or two since it was bascially spawned because I was pissed.

What do you know? Anger is quite powerful.

Later
T

 

[Zero]

your brother has a biiiig problem. Screw him, do the shopping yourself and hatch a plan to tie him up and lock him into a closet or something. Or feed him to your dog.